Ask the Marauders
by Padfoot Moony and Prongs
Summary: What happens when you mix the Marauders and some questions by fellow fanfic writers? Humor and some awkward moments! Please, leave your questions in the review or PM me.
1. Chapter 1

Hello and welcome to the first part of Ask the Marauders! Viewers questions will be submitted to the Marauders, and they will be happy to respond!

James: Do we REALLY have to do this?

Remus: YES.

Peter: Why? Whats the point in answering stupid questions that will probobly make NO SENSE?

Sirius: *Snore*

James: Padfoot... are you SLEEPING?

Sirius: *Snore* Huh? wha...

Remus: WAKE UP!

Sirius:WHERES THE MUSTARD?

Peter: Dude. Get a hold of yourself. You where dreaming.

Sirius: Oh. Well, I blame Remus.

Remus: Why?

Sirius: Because it was YOUR idea to have this STUPID talkshow or whatever the bloody thing is called.

Remus: I came up with this idea because I thought it would be good if we connected with our fan-base...

Sirius: BOOOORING.

Remus: Well, if we do this, I bet alot of your fangirls would be DYING to talk to you!

Sirius: I'M IN!

James: Nice try, Moony. However, unlike poor, single Padfoot over there, I have Lily.

Remus: I will get you a new broom!

James: *squeals*

Peter: HA! You can't bribe me with girls OR brooms!

Remus: If you don't, I will not help you with your homework for the rest of the year.

Peter:...FINE.

Remus: Lucky for us, I already have a question!

Peter: Just one?

Remus: Yeah. This is only the first part. Anyway, here it is.

_**Hey! I hope this question makes it... **_

_**Anyway, Sirius, Do you chase Mcgonagle or around when you are in dog forme?**_

_**From: I R TLY SMRT**_

Sirius: I did... ONCE.

**RECORD SCRATCH**

Remus:...What?

Sirius: Yeah. Once, I chased . I almost got her too, but I ran into Filch.

Remus: I hope you didn't ACTUALLY run into him...

Sirius: I did.

Remus: *facepalm*

James: And WHY didn't you tell me this?

Sirius: *shrugs* Wasn't that important.

Remus: Well, thats all the time we have today! Keep sending in those questions!

Sirius: PLEASE! I WANT TO GET THIS OVER WITH!

James: Same here. Oh, and Quidditch starts soon!

Peter: I'm hungry.

James, Sirius, and Remus: When are you NOT?

Thats it! Oh, and Lily WILL be shortly joining, so think up questions for her too! A new part will go up whenever I have good questions to post, so PLEASE reply via IM or post a review with a question on it. This story will only be as good as the questions you send!


	2. Chapter 2

**Welcome, to another part of Ask the Marauders!**

Sirius: Thank you, invisable voice person!

Remus: Sirius, you are talking to an inanimate object.

James: He doesn't know what that means.

Sirius: I don't know what that means.

Peter: Score one for prongs...

Remus: ANYWAY, are we ready to take questions?

Sirius: Yeah, as long as my fangirls are ready!

Sirius Fangirls: *SCREAM*

James: Bloody hell...Sirius, when did THEY get in here?

Sirius: Oh, I am sorry! I can't hear you over my THOUSANDS OF FANS! *goes crowd surfing*

Sirius Fangirls: *SCREAM!*

Remus: For the love of...SIRIUS! DO YOU WANT TO ANSWER QUESTIONS?

Sirius: SORRY LADIES, I HAVE TO GO!

Sirius fangirls: *pout*

Sirius: I will be back! Ok Moony. First Question.

Remus: Actually, the first question goes to Prongs.

James: HA! I have fans too! *Sticks out tounge*

Sirius:*Pouts*

Peter: Where are MY fans?

Peter Fangirls:... (THEY DON'T EXIST!)

Remus: Ok, here is the question!

_**For Prongs:**_

_**How many people in/out of Hogwarts know about you being an animagius?**_

_**From: L-U-N-A-654**_

Remus: James, you better say none.

James: All of them? Ok, lets see...

Sirius: Oh no. He has that look.

Peter: This could take a while.

James: Theres Padfoot, Moony, Wormtail, my mom, my dad, Lily, Aunt Mary, Aunt josaphine, Uncle Grimm, My cousin Rick, that wierd old lady across the street (Long story) uncle Chester, my cousin Ralf, Makenzie, Matt, Bob...um... Hey, does Frank know?

Remus: I...Don't think so.

James: Ok, then...um...thats about it.

Sirius: How did they all find out?  
>James: Well, my family members, well, I thought I could trust them. However, the old lady across the street just so HAPPENED to see me transform, although she is not a witch. Now, Makenzie, Matt and Bob... Meh, I was bored one day, and I wanted to brag.<p>

Remus: DO YOU KNOW THE DANGER IN THIS? THEY COULD REPORT YOU TO THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC!

James: Nah. They can't.

Peter:...Why?

James: I gave them to Ms. Norris as chew toys.

_**RECORD SCRATCH**_

Remus:...You didn't.

James: I did.

Sirius: Oh! THATS why Ms. Norris was so happy last month!

Remus: Riiight. Anyway, shall we go to the next question?

James: Fine. What is it?

Remus: Well, its one for all of us. It reads:

_**I have a few questions to ask.**_

_**First one:**_

_**Why was Sirius dreaming of mustard missing?**_

_**Second one: An over done one but,**_

_**How did you come up with the nicknames for each other?**_

_**Third one: For Lily:**_

_**How many times did James ask you out? And what finially made you say yes, besides his head deflating?**_

_**And the fourth one just for kicks:**_

_**Why does Peter have a pudding face, and whos pudding did he steal? It was Remus chocolate pudding, wasn't it?**_

_**From:Lazybum89**_

Sirius: Well, the whole dream...let me think...oh, right, I was cought in the middle of a war between mustard and ketchup. While I was running through the battle field, dodging blobs of ketchup that where beging thrown at me, I realized...that I didn't have any mustard!

Remus:...Really?

Sirius: Yup.

Peter: Creepy.

James: Anyway, how did we come up with the nicknames? Yeah, alot of people ask, but this is what REALLY happened. After we figured out Remus was a werewolf, Sirius took opon himself to nickname him Moony, because of, well, the moon.

Remus: I can't belive that nickname stuck...

James: Anyway, the rest of us, well, Remus actually gave us the nicknames.

Remus:Yeah. I named James Prongs because of his antlers. It was that, or Antler Boy. With Sirius, well, when he first tried to transform, he didn't get the dogs paws right. Imagine a dog with a humans hands and feet! Yeah, anyway, I said that he doesn't have padfeet, and he changed it to Padfoot, and it just sorta worked. Peter is a different story. Like James, the first thing I noticed was his tail. It was eaither rattail, or wormtail, and wormtail sounded better.

James:...You done yet?

Remus: Yup.

Sirius: The third one is for Lily...

James: I'll get her.

10 minutes later...

Lily: What do you two morons want?

James: But, honey, there are FOUR of us.

Lily: I know. I just don't count Remus or Peter as morons.

Siriuss: *Pouts* What about me?

Lily: *Stares at Sirius*

Sirius: Got it...

Lily: Anyway, what do you want?

James: look. *Hands Lily the questions*

Lily: Oh, thats easy. James asked me out every single second of his life sense the start of our second year. The reason I told him yes was...

James: Because of my awsome sense of humor, style, and I have AMAZING hair! *Does the Beiber hair flip*

Remus: Don't forget about your modesty...

Lily: NO. None of those things...except your hair. Anyway, no. It was so it would just SHUT YOU UP! The only reason I went on that first date was to shut you up about asking me out. But...I don't know...during that first date...I just realized that you aren't such a big prat, and I gave you a second chance.

James: *Smiles proudly*

Remus: *Rolls eyes* Riiight... Anyway, Peter, its your turn.

Peter: Pudding face? What are you talking about? I do NOT have a pudding face!

James: Well...you kinda do...

Peter: SHUT IT. Anyway, I did NOT steal anybodys pudding, EXPECIALLY Remus' chocolate pudding. He would bite my hand off...

Remus: Hey! That happend ONE TIME!

James: Dude, you almost broke his arm.

Remus: Yeah... but it was MY PUDDING!

Sirius: Nobody even likes pudding...

Remus: WHAT DID YOU SAY!

Sirius: nothing.

Remus: Thats what I though you said...

James: Hey, isn't that all the time we have for today?

Sirius: I think so.

Lily: This is actually interesting...I think I will stay and watch where this goes!

Peter: Can I leave?

Sirius: No. People will send questions to you too.

Peter: Fine.

Remus: MY PUDDING! MIIIIIIINE... *Eats chocolate pudding*

Keep sending in those questions!


	3. Chapter 3

Welcome again to another part of Ask the Marauders!

Lily: Does that ALWAYS happen?

Remus: Well, yes. We have to give it a talk show type theme, so I added an invisable voice!

Peter: Do we have some questions today?

James: Well DUH. Sirius, will you do the honors?

Sirius: With pleasure.

_**HEY! Firstly Remus. I love you and do you actually carry chocolate around with you because whenever someones depressed you seem ready and waiting to hand it out to him. Where do you get your supplies?**_

_**And also to James, what do you do each morning to make your hair so awsomly awsome and epic?**_

_**From:LunarWerewolf**_

Remus:...Well, yes. I do keep chocolate on me at all times, except when I am sleeping. And chocolate actually DOES make a person feel better! Its a chemical reaction from the cocoa to the brain cells, and...

James: SHORT VERSION.

Remus: Fine. Anyway, yes, I always have some. And I cannot tell you where I get my amazing chocolate. Lets just say that there will always be a LITTLE left...

James: Remus... What are you talking abou...

*Door Opens* *Umpa Lumpas walk in*

Umpa Lumpa: Your chocolate .

Remus: Thank you. *Takes chocolate*

*Umpa Lumpa walks out*

James:...

Lily:...

Sirius:...

Peter:...THAT...WAS...AWSOME!

Lily: Was that an Umpa Lumpa? From Willy Wonkas chocolate factory?

Remus:*Eats chocolate bar* Uh huh.

Lily: But...that was just a muggle movie! It doesn't exist!

Remus: Lily...we are in a huge, magical castle, we have spiders the size of cars in the forest, and every single one of us are eaither witches or wizards. Why is it so wierd to have little people making amazing chocolate for you?

Lily:...Point taken...

James: Back to the question, MY HAIR. I know, its great isn't it? I bet you are thinking that it takes FOREVER to get it this way, right? WRONG! This is actually my bedhead. I just grow my hair long, not as long as Padfoots, mind you, but just long enough, put a LITTLE gel in it, just a little, and I go to bed. And in the morning...Viola. Your hair is like mine!

Sirius: *Pouts* My hair is way better then yours...

Peter:Next question?

Lily:I'll read it.

_**Ok, questions for all.**_

_**Peter-Who do you like more, James or Sirius?**_

_**Remus: Have you ever had to pull a prank all by yourself?**_

_**Lily: Have you ever had a boyfriend besides James?**_

_**James: Who is your best friend?**_

_**All Marauders: How would you discribe your first impressions of eachother in three words?**_

_**Sirius: Are you so concided that you think every single girl on the face of the planet loves you? Face it love, only dimwits with no thoughts in there pretty little heads adore you. You could NEVER get a sensible, smart girl to like you. Even if people write fanfiction about it. Your an ***, plain and simple.**_

_**From: by the Ravenclaw, Jacky Dupree**_

Sirius: *sits with mouth open* Wha...bu...how...?

Peter: I shall answer first, shall I? Um...I guess... Well, Sirius is nice...but so is james...um... I will have to say... Remus.

James: Peter, ME OR PADFOOT. No Remus.

Peter: OH...then...James I guess...

James: Ha!

Sirius *Rocking back and forth*

Lily: Is he ok?

Remus: He's fine. He's like this when he finds out that not EVERYBODY in the world is going to like him.

Lily:Oh...

Remus: Anyway, my question. Yes, belive it or not, I have. It was the huge Great Hall food fight.

_**RECORD SCRATCH**_

Lily:*Gasp* YOU started that?

Remus: Yup. James and Sirius where in the hospital wing because of that quidditch incident, and I had to do SOMETHING.

Lily: I thought you weren't like them!

James: Once a marauder, always a marauder!

Lily: *Groan* And I thought you could be saved...

James: Lily, its your question.

Lily: Right. Um...Yes, I have had other boyfriends.

James: Who?

Lily: Well, Drake, Jake, Jack, and Herold.

James: Uh huh...any more?

Lily: No...

James: Good. Now, how would we discribe our first impressions? Well, for Peter, I would say... Small, scared...and, no offense, but weak.

Peter: Thats fine. For you james, I would say SELF-CENTERED BIGHEADDED GIT.

Remus: NICE! *Highfives Peter*

Remus: Now for Sirius... Needs a haircut.

James: And for you Remus... Boring, bookish, and shy.

Remus: *Shrugs* Thats about it too. *Looks over at Sirius, who is sobbing quietly* Do you think we should tell him that the person who wrote this is actually a fan...?

James: WHAT?

Remus: Look.

_**Sirius is my favorite, I had to pick on him**_

_**Record scratch**_

Sirius: WAAAAHHHH... Wait, she's a fan?

Remus: Looks like it.

Sirius: YEAH! WOO! EVERYBODY STILL LOVES ME!

Peter: Sure Padfoot. Sure.

Remus: We have another question, but its a LITTLE to long...

Sirius: I don't care! *Grabs question*

_**Dear Lily,**_

_**How did you actually manage to get involved with the three dimwits and Remus? (And before you ask Padfoot or Prongs, no, Remus is a smart person that is forced by fate to put up with stupid people!)**_

_**How would you feel if one day a stray Padfoot came to your house (Yours and James) and settled on your sofa without actually caring?**_

_**Dear Remus,**_

_**Have you actually assaulted verbally and/or phisically to Sirius and/or James? Why?**_

_**How would you react if you suddenly became related to Sirius?**_

_**Dear James,**_

_**What was the most extream thing you have ever done in order to get Lilys affection?**_

_**If Sirius challenged you to go starkers in McGonaggles class, would you do it?**_

_**Dear Sirius:**_

_**How many girls have you snogged so far? (If i'm right about you, you definatly have a list with all the girls that fell for your charm.)**_

_**Did you ever use your animagus form to seduce a girl?**_

_**Peter:**_

_**Have you ever tried (and failed) to steal something from Moony? If yes, what happend to you?**_

_**How come you are a Gryiffendor? (I SERIOUSLY wonder about that as much as my fellow fanfictioners do!)**_

_**From:Lifedrops**_

Lily:*Sigh* That first question is a good one. Personally, I ask myself that EVERY DAY.

James: Oh, come on tiger Lily! You know you love us!

Lily:Sure. Anyway, second question... I actually don't doubt that he would do that. But, if he DID, I would get the broom, and hit it over his head a couple times.

Sirius: *Rubs head* That... would have to hurt...

Remus: Now my question. Um... do you count during the full moon? Or near it? Because, then, yes, I have. More then once, actually.

Peter: Yeah...remember that one time?

Sirius: *shudderes* Don't remind me.

Remus: Sorry...um, how would I react if Sirius was, like, my brother? *shrugs shoulders* It would be wierd at first, but if he leaves my stuff alone, it would be fine.

James: Ha! My turn! Oh... Hm... tough question... well, remember that time I took a Polyjuice potion to look like Snivilous?

_**record scratch**_

Lily: You WHAT!

James: Now, lily, remember I love you...

Lily: You drank an awful potion to turn into your archenimie just so I would go out with you?

James: Lily, I'm sorry, But it...

Lily: *Hugs James* Why are you sorry?

James: Well, I though that you...

Lily: No, it's fine. Really! I think its actually sweet.

Peter: Well, I thought of it!

Everybody: NO YOU DIDN'T!

James: Now, for the challenge... been there, done that. Sirius dared me to do that three years ago.

Sirius: Yup. I lost 2 galleons that day...

Remus: Full moon?

James: Yup.

Remus: What did Mcgonnagle say!

James: Surprisingly, nothing. She ignored me. I guess she didn't want to draw attention to me.

Sirius: *laughes* That didn't work so well, did it?

Remus: I am now glad I missed class that day...

Sirius: Yeah. Anyway, I do NOT keep a list, no matter what ANYBODY says!

Remus: Well, what about the one in the...

Sirius: NONE! I can even name all of the girls I have dated!

Peter: Prove it!

Sirius: There was Aaron, Ashley, Amanda, Alissa...

2 HOURS LATER...

Sirius: Alexandria, and thats it with the A's!

Remus: *Stares at Sirius* Wow...

James: *SNORE*

Peter: Wha! What happened?

Sirius: I finished saying my girlfriends names that start with A!

James: Just A!

Sirius: YUP.

Remus: ok, answer the other question!

Sirius: If by seduce you mean to get pet with, then YES! In human form, I am irresistable, but when I am in animagus form, girls flock around me!

Lily: Just like that one girl who hit you over the head with a bat?

Sirius:...No.

Peter: My turn. Well, yes, I did steal something from Remus. It was his chocolate pudding. Thing is, I didn't even know it was his. It was by him, but I thought that was no big deal. So I took it, and he totoally FLIPED OUT.

Remus: Objection!

Sirius: OVERRULED!

Peter: Anyway, he almost BIT OFF MY HAND.

Remus: How many times did I say I was sorry?

Peter: Still...I will never get that deranged look in your eyes out of my mind...

Sirius: I thought it was funny.

Peter: Anyway, I have no clue why I am in Gryffendor. Sorry, but I do not control what the Sorting Hat says, so I can't answer.

Remus: This went longer then expected...

Lily: Yeah, but it's over.

James: Yup. Please stay tuned for the next episode!

Sirius: Bye!...wait, who are we talking too?

_**record scratch**_

Lily: Where IS that sound coming from...

Thanks to ALL who send in questions! Keep them coming!


	4. Chapter 4

Hello again to Ask the Marauders!

Remus: Maybe I shouldn't have put that up...

James: Nah, its fine. Lets get this over with. Lily, We have questions, correct?

Lily: Uh huh.

James: Ok then, READ DA QUESTION!

Lily: *glares at James*

James:Please?

Lily: Thank you! Ok, here it is:

_**James: Have you been interested in any other girl than Lily?**_

_**Lily: You are now my favorite, I had to say that.**_

_**Remus: I have a friend who (Okay I'm telling him shut it) thinks your cute. So**_  
><em><strong>would you be interested in going out with *sigh* "a totally cute but she<strong>_  
><em><strong>Ravenclaw girl who's liked you since first year"... that was not me by the<strong>_  
><em><strong>way!<strong>_

_**Peter: Why is your animagus a rat?**_

_**Sirius: Okay, I am not one of your fans. I merly thought you were the coolest.**_  
><em><strong>Now I don't think that because you do have a giant head and I stand by what I<strong>_  
><em><strong>said. A smart girl would never go out with you. And after hearing all of the<strong>_  
><em><strong>girls you've gone out with I doubt anyone will. ESPECIALLY me. So whaddya<strong>_  
><em><strong>think of that?<strong>_

_**-Jacky Dupree**_

James: Interested...like, loved as much as Lily? Nope. Some of the girls I liked, but I didn't love them like I love Lily.

Lily: Awwww! Oh, and thank you Jacky. It is nice to be a favorite character! Ok Remus, your turn.

Remus: Um...well...Yes, I am currently single, but I think I am not fit for dating due to my...'Furry Little Problem.'

James: Yeah, that and there is a girl that keep stalking him.

Sirius: Oh...you mean Jenny?

Remus: *Clamps hands over Sirius' mouth* SHUSH! She might hear you...

Peter: So, I guess I will answer... Um, I am not sure why I am a rat. It's helpful, though. I can sneak between the branches of the Whomping willow, so I am not complaning.

Sirius: *Stares at the questions* YOU ARE NOT A FAN? Well, sense you think I am cool, you ARE! HA! And, NO, I don't have a big head! My head is NORMAL sized! It's PETER that has the big head!

Peter: Hey!

Sirius: SHUT IT! Anyway, FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I have gone out with alot of Ravenclaws! So HA! And, if you think about it, it wasn't THAT many girls!

James: Sirius... it took you 2 hours to get to the B's.

Sirius: So? Now, I could care LESS if you want to go out with me or not! I really don't care!

Remus: He actually cares. Don't let him fool you. He would go out with any girl.

Sirius: BE. QUIET. ANYWAY, THATS WHAT I THINK OF THAT! *pants*

Remus: *Scoots away from Sirius* Next question PLEASE.

_**Hello,**_

f_**irst of all guys, I want to tell you that I think that you're totally**_  
><em><strong>awesome!<strong>_

_**So, now some questions.**_

_**Lily: When and how did you learn about Remus' so-called 'furry little**_  
><em><strong>problem'? Have you ever tried to prove the Marauders guilty of a prank for the<strong>_  
><em><strong>sake of getting them detention?<strong>_

_**Peter: Would you have passed ANY exams without Remus' help? Do you tend to**_  
><em><strong>chew on your pillow when you're asleep?<strong>_

_**James: I heard you're a chaser, so why are you always playing with a snitch?**_  
><em><strong>Did you use a special 'anti-Snape'-charm for the Marauder's Map or is it a<strong>_  
><em><strong>general protection that's insulting any unauthorised person who is trying to<strong>_  
><em><strong>read it?<strong>_

_**Sirius: Who of you came up with the idea of a map and when did you start with**_  
><em><strong>it? Have you ever used your awesome animagus dog form for a prank? What was<strong>_  
><em><strong>the worst Howler you got from home?<strong>_

_**Remus: first things first, you are my favourite Marauder, I'm a huge fan of**_  
><em><strong>yours. Do you have to lots of homework for the other three lazy 'gits'? Are<strong>_  
><em><strong>you the 'innocent one' of the group who isn't always suspected by the<strong>_  
><em><strong>teachers? If yes, is it useful for pranks? How did you end up nearly ripping<strong>_  
><em><strong>off Peter's arm?<strong>_

_**Loves from a fellow Gryffindor,**_

_**your Tipear**_

Lily: Funny thing, really. I didn't learn about it, so much as Remus told me. Which, apperently, was pretty important, considering that he kept it from James, Sirius, and Peter.

Remus: Well, you are alot more trustworthy then those gits.

James,Peter,Sirius: HEY!

Lily:And, no. I did tell on them for the sake of getting them in detention. That would make me a tatle-tale. Ok, peter, your up.

Peter: Well, at first, Remus was the only way I could get through the year. But, like now, I can handle it myself, for the most part. And, yes! I do chew on my pillow! How did you know that...?

James: Why does EVERYBODY think I am a seeker? But, yes, I am a chaser. And, well, I just like to play with a snitch every now and then.

Sirius: Yeah, and you did TRY to be a seeker, right?

James: Well, yeah. But still...anyway, funny you should mention the map! I DID add a specific little charm for Snape, but all in all, its just a general protection.

Sirius:Can I answer MY questions?

James: Go ahead.

Sirius: Well, belive it or not, it was our dear Moony who thought up with the map! We started it in our second year, but we finished in the third. And, yes, all of us used our amazing animagus forms for pranks! We all attack Snivilous, and he never knows its us!

Lily: WHAT.

James: *facepalm* Uh...yeah. We USE to! Not anymore!

Lily: Uh huh. *Glares at James*

James: Sirius! Answer! NOW!

Sirius: Well,the worst howler I ever had was from my parents after I got into Gryffendor. They were going ON AND ON about how they where going to disown me, how I was a major disgrace to the Black name...and BLAH BLAH BLAH! Honestly! They went ON AND ON!

Remus: Uh huh... Is it ALWAYS like that?

Sirius: Pretty much!

Remus: Anyway, thanks! It is always nice to hear from a fan! And, yes, I do alot of those lazy gits homework. Although, they have gotten better at finishing there homework themselves. At FIRST I was a teachers pet, but after a while, they figured out that I was hanging out with these gits, and they didn't trust me.

James: Remus, I am HURT!

Sirius: Honestly! I may be a git, but I have the BEST HAIR!

Peter: What they said...

Remus: Right. You do absolutely NOTHING, and you don't expect to be called gits?

Sirius: Point taken...

Remus: Like I said before, It WAS useful for pranks, but by the third year, they didn't trust me at all. Oh, and I already said why I almost ripped off Peters arm. Please look at the past chapters.

Peter: Or I could just tell you. I took his chocolate pudding, and he was really mad. Again, I didn't know that it was his! I just saw it sitting by him, and I took it. He then got mad, and grabbed my arm, almost ripping it off.

Sirius: You said before that he almost 'Bit' off your hand.

Peter: *shrugs* same difference.

James: ok... Last question?

Remus: I guess...

_**Ok, this is for everybody:**_

_**What would you guys say if Peter worked for Voldy and sold James and Lily out, Sirius got sent to Azcaban, Lily and James had a son named Harry, and Remus became a proffesor and married someone, like, 20 years younger then him?**_

_**From: FriendofLuna**_

Sirius:...

James:...

Lily:...

Remus:...

Everybody: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

James: Oh, thats rich! Pete would NEVER go over to the dark side, right pete?

Peter: Sure James! Whatever you say! *Glares at the back of James' head*

Sirius: I can imagine Moony becoming a proffesor actually...

Remus:Yeah, but marrying somebody 20 years younger then me...? Creepy...

Lily:Well, I can imagine Sirius going to Azcaban...

Sirius: *Gasps* LILY! How DARE you!

Lily: Shut it Padtoe. Anyway, Harry, huh...I actaully like the name! What about you James?

James: Ha! Harry! That name is...

Lily: *Glares at James*

James: Perfect!

Remus: Ok, thats all the time we have...

Peter: Yeah. If you will excuse me, I have some plans to formulate...

Lily: what was that Peter?

Peter: NOTHING!

Please send more questions!

Also, It would be appreciated if you PM questions to me instead, but Reviews are fine too!


	5. Chapter 5

Welcome to another Ask the Marauders!

James: I am getting use to this...

Lily: yeah. I like answering our fans questions. It's interesting!

Peter:Yeah...hey, where is Sirius?

Remus: I think he was being chased by his fangirls...

Peter: I am not surprised...

*Door flies open, Sirius is backing away from tons of girls*

Sirius: Ok now ladies! I have to go now...

Sirius Fangirls:AWWWW!

Sirius: I will be back! Here, you can have this signed picture! *throws signed picture into crowd*

Sirius fangirls: *SCREAM*

*Sirius shuts door*

Sirius: So, what did I miss?

Remus: Nothing. We are just reading the first question...

Lily: Can I read it?

Remus: Be my guest.

_**All: What carrer do you want? What is your favorite spell?**_

_**James: Why do you always play with your hair? Frankly it's annoying.**_

_**Lily: Have you ever tried to play Quidditch?**_

_**Peter: Have you ever asked a girl out?**_

_**Remus: Wow, this is awkward. My friend (and I use the term very loosely) is**_  
><em><strong>Jenny. Are you okay with that?<strong>_

_**Sirius: Good because I could care less if you wanted to ask me out. And if**_  
><em><strong>you'd go out with any girl... doesn't that make you a man-**? (LOL)<strong>_

_**-The Awesome Muggleborn Ravenclaw, Jacky Dupree**_

Sirius: Well, I don't care! And, NO, I don't go out with EVERY girl, so NO, I am NOT a man-***! Really...what is UP with this chick...?

Remus: Wait...Your friend is Jenny? Um...well... like I said before, because of my 'Furry Little Problem', I don't think I will be able to date any time soon!

Lily: Remus, you ALWAYS pull the 'I'm dangerous' card. Now, tell me HONESTLY, who have you hurt?

Remus...Nobody...

Lily: Exactly! You always make sure you are at least 100 miles away from a single living not as dangerous as you make yourself seem.

Remus:...thanks Lily. But I am still not going out with Jenny. Why? Because... I am busy this whole month. Yeah...

James: We need to teach you how to make better lies...anyway, I don't 'PLAY' with my hair. I just make sure that it is epic.

Remus: Sure...but it is annoying.

James: Shut it.

Peter: Well, yes, I have asked a girl out. But she laughed in my face...

Sirius: Wouldn't anybody...

Lily: *smacks Sirius*

Sirius: OW!

Lily: Be more considerate! Oh, and my favorite spell is...Orchideous. The flowers it makes are stunning...

Sirius: Mine would have to be Petrificus Totalus. It's easy to cast, but VEEERY useful.

Peter: Mines Protego. I like to be in a safe little bubble...

James: Those are all nice, but the BEST spell is Levicorpus!

Lily: riiiight... Anyway, I wouldn't mind being a Healer.

Peter: I have NO clue what I want to be...

Sirius: I would like to be a famous Quiddetch player! Or a Auror...

James: Yeah...those sound cool! An auror would be best though...

Remus: Well, IF I could have a job, it would be a teacher.

James: BOOOOORING.

Lily: Before there is a fight, yes, I have played Quiddetch, but I am not the best.

Sirius: NEXT QUESTION!

_**Padfoot: HEy xD my question for you is: How would your life have been  
>different if you had been in Sylrithn and was best friend with Snape ( sorry<br>for being a bit evil there but i had to =D )  
>Moony: First of i m gonna say that you are my Favorite of you little group. i<br>have a few questions for you: 10 why arnt you in raven claw? 2) what would you  
>do if Lily dyed you hair Purple? Whould you keep it? ( i think that it would<br>be a good color)  
>Prongs: heh Im going to be just as evil as i was with Padfoot: What would you<br>do if Lily had ened up with snape? * evil glint in eyes*  
>Wormy tail : What would you do I threw you to the giant squid in the lake?<br>Lily: I feel your pain somethimes xP i have a buch of friend just liek those  
>goofballs xP How do cope with it alll the time xD<strong>_

From a Girl in Huffel Puff

Remus: Wow...I must have a lot more fans then I though...Oh, and I DON'T think my hair would look good purple.

Lily:...Well, lets see! *Casts spell on Remus*

Sirius: WHAT THE...

James: OH MY...

Peter: REMUS! YOUR HAIRS PURPLE!

Everybody but Remus: HAHAHAHAHAHHAA!

Lily: *Hands Remus a mirror*

Remus: ! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY HAIR?

Sirius: It looks fine! Keep it like that!

Remus: Just for the rest of this chapter, Ok?

Sirius: Sure. Oh, and if I had to be in Slytherin, I would leave. No joke. I would walk right out.

James: Same thing with Snivilous going out with Lily. If they REALLY started dating, I don't think I could live with myself...

Lily: Why would you blame yourself?

James: Because, if that little slimball was going out with you, it would be MY fault that I didn't stop it.

Lily: Awww!

Sirius: *GAG*

Lily: HEY! Just because you have the emotional range of a clump of dirt doesn't mean we all do!

Sirius: HEY! I take offense to that!

Peter: Can we move on...? If you threw me in the lake, *shrugs* it has been done before...

Lily: Poor pete...Oh, and it is VERY difficult to put up with these gits. But, it is worth it.

James: You know you love us!

Lily: Like a cold that keeps coming back...

Remus: Ok, another question?

Peter: Why not?

_**Lily: You are amazing for putting up with James, Sirius, Remus and the  
>pudding stealing Peter, by the way Remus, Peter did it again while he was<br>plotting some not so nice plans, my question is, how do you do it? It must be  
>rough sometimes, huh?<strong>_

_**Sirius: What would you do if Remus went out with your cousin Tonks? By the**_  
><em><strong>way, you should look in the mirror. I think you're developing an early case of<strong>_  
><em><strong>a receding hairline... It makes your head look smaller though but does nothing<strong>_  
><em><strong>for your forehead... er... maybe I shouldn't have said anything...<strong>_

_**Remus: You should probably lock up your pudding as it seems Peter can't be**_  
><em><strong>trusted. Anyways, I was just wondering, how are you doing today? It seems no<strong>_  
><em><strong>one can asked that question anymore...<strong>_

_**James: Would you die for Lily, Sirius, Remus, *sigh* pudding-stealer Peter,**_  
><em><strong>and any of your unborn children in a heartbeat?<strong>_

_**Peter: Shakes my head and walks away, I can't deal with pudding stealers...**_  
><em><strong>*turns around and gives dirty look and then* What's your excuse this time? Was<strong>_  
><em><strong>this one just lying around as well? Right beside Remus's arm...a likely story!<strong>_  
><em><strong>Like you didn't know! By the way there is some on the corner of your mouth and<strong>_  
><em><strong>down the front of your shirt! Good pudding is hard to come by! Just ask Remus!<strong>_  
><em><strong>*walks away in disgust*<strong>_

_**From:Lazybum**_

Remus: HE...DID...WHAT!

Peter: *cowers* I...I didnt!

REMUS: HOW DARE YOU STEAL MY PRECIOUS PUDDING!

Peter: But...but... I was hungry! And it was just sitting on your nightstand...

James: Peter, it was locked in a minifridge, and Remus put a sign on it, clearly stating:KEEP OUT.

Peter:...Oops?

Remus: YOU ATE THE BEST CHOCOLATE PUDDING IN THE WORLD, AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS OOPS?

James: As entertaining as this is, I think we should help.

Sirius: *sigh* if you insist...Moony! HEY! Moony! I have chocolate over here!

Remus: AND FURTHERMORE...did you say chocolate?

Sirius: It's all yous, if you keep peter alone.

Remus: *glares at Peter* Fine.

Sirius: Good boy!

Remus: Don't start with me, Black.

Lily:...anyway, like I said before, it is VERY difficult! Sometimes I wonder why I do it...

Sirius: Um...my cousin, Tonks...?...OH! You mean Nymphadora! Andromedas daughter! Um...shes only, what, three years old? It would be wierd... And my hair is FINE, thank you very much!

Remus: Me, dating somebody 13 years younger then me...? WIERD!

James: Really...and yes, I would die for my friends and...unborn child.

Peter:...Is there really pudding over my face...?

James: All over it, and on your shirt.

Peter: oh.

Remus: OH? OH? YOU BROKE INTO MY SPECIAL PUDDING VAULT...

Sirius: Minifridge.

Remus:MINIFRIDGE, AND YOU THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH IT!

James: WELL, THATS ALL THE TIME WE HAVE FOR TODAY! JOIN US NEXT TIME...REMUS! STOP CHOKING PETER! Oh, merlin...

Please send in more questions!

Ps: No lying, cheating, pathetic pudding stealers where harmed in the making of this...as much as I hate to admit it._**  
><strong>_


	6. Chapter 6

ANOTHER ASK THE MARAUDERS!HAHAQHAHAHAHHAHA!

Peter: Remus...did you give the invisable voice a piece of chocolate?

Remus:...Maaaaybe...it said it was hungry!

James: Can we PLEASE get to the questions?

Sirius: OH! PICK ME! PICK ME!

Remus:...ok, Sirius.

Sirius: Yay!...oh great. Its from Jacky again. This should be interesting...

_**James: How much do you know about Muggles? Has Lily told you anything?**_

_**Remus: Uh yeah Jenny's not gonna give up easy. She has a shrine in the dorm  
>room (it's really creepy and annoying because the other two girls are obssesed<br>with Black *rolls eyes*). Anyway... if you could be an animagus, what would  
>you be?<strong>_

_**Lily: Speaking as one Muggleborn to another, I just want to ask how you deal  
>with the discrimination? I tend to get angry easily at people who use the word<br>"Mudblood" but that usually gets me detention.**_

_**Peter: Strawberry or watermelon? (yeah I ran out of questions for you)**_

_**Sirius:...DID YOU JUST CALL ME A CHICK?**_

_**...**_

_**Though maybe I should call your sexuality into question considering your hair  
>is so long...<strong>_

_**...**_

_**Okay, question...If you claim to not be a man-**, have you ever said no to a  
>date?<strong>_  
><em><strong>From: Jacky Dupree<strong>_

Remus: oh great... SCILENCIO! *Casts spell on Sirius*

Peter: Why did you do that?

Remus: He would be yelling the whole time, and I want to answer some questions...

Lily: Smart idea. Ok, my questions. Well, usually, the only people who call me 'Mudblood' are those rejects who think they will become death eaters. I never get TOO angry, but when the teachers arn't looking, I usually hex the little jerk who said it.

James: Whoa. I never knew you did that...

Lily: Well, I do.

James:...ok. My turn! I know about muggles, yes. I do take Muggle Studies, but Lily has told me a thing or two...

Remus:..Jenny has a SHRINE to me...? I am not surprised... Oh, and...actually...YES, I WILL go out with her... tonight, 10 O'clock, astronomy tower. I will get a picnic ready...

Lily: Awww! Remmys first date!

James: How will you mess THIS one up, Moony? *Lily slaps James* Nevermind...

Remus: *SIGH* Ok, Sirius. *takes spell off of Sirius*

Sirius: AND YOU CAN TELL THAT TO YO MAMA! Oh, the spells lifted. Ok then...Here is what I have to say...

Lily: Oh great...

James: This is going to take a while...

Remus:*Puts earplugs in*

Peter: TAKE COVER!

Sirius: YEAH, I JUST CALLED YOU A CHICK! YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? AND MY HAIR IS AMAZING! YOUR JUST JELOUS THAT I HAVE AN AMAZING FANCLUB, AND THAT MY HAIR IS PROBOBLY BETTER. THEN. YOURS! OH, AND I CAN SAY NO TO A DATE!

James: Really? Even if Rebecca asked?

Sirius: !

Remus: OH REBECCA!

*Rebecca walks through door*

Rebecca: Hey! What do you want?

James: Would you go out with Sirius?

Rebecca: Sure! Sirius, would you like to go on a date with me?

Sirius: YES! I mean...no! I...well...gah...I would LOVE to...but...this...Jacky... NO! I am sorry, but I will NOT go on a...a...duh...duh...date...with...y...yyy...yyyyoooouuu...

James: That looks painful.

Sirius: IT IS...

Rebecca:...oh. Ok then...Bye! *skips away*

Sirius: GAH! *Lays head on table* I hate all of you...

James: Next question, PLEASE.

_**Lily: Did you ever have feelings for Remus? You always seemed to get along  
>with him better than James &amp; Sirius &amp; THE EVIL TRAITOR RAT...erm, sorry, I<br>mean *Wormy*.**_

_**James: Would you have MURDERERD Remus if he had gone out with Lily? And have  
>you ever met Lily's sister &amp; Vernon Dursley? If you found out they were being<br>mean to...say...your *son*, what evil thing would you do to them?**_

_**Remus: What is the title of every book you've ever read? Haha! Just kidding, I  
>was just asking that to annoy Padfoot and Prongs;) But real question: How did<br>your friends find out about the werewolf thing?**_

_**Peter: You don't deserve a question. But to everyone else, if Peter is  
>mysteriously taken away in the night, PLEASE don't go looking for him. It's<br>all for the greater good.**_

_**Padfoot: ...will you marry me? PLEASE? Those screaming fangirls of yours? I  
>would get rid of them all! YOU'RE MINE! ;)<strong>_

_**Thanks so much! Your #1 Fangirl,**_

_**-marauderette-47**_

Lily: Feelings for Remus...? Well, it IS true that he is the nicest one out of all of them, and he was the only one I talked to without making fun of him, but no. I do not have any feelings for him.

Remus: Same here. We are JUST FRIENDS.

Sirius: Sure.

James: Well... See, at first, I was mad that Remus was the only one of us that Lily would talk to, but after a while, I just let it go. So, no, I wouldn't kill him over a girl. Marauders don't let girls come between them. Oh, and I have never met Lilys sister.

Lily: Trust me, you don't want to.

Remus: Well, I could tell you all of the books...

Peter:NO! NO NO NO!

Remus: Fine...well, they found out about my lycanthrope...they actually figured it out themselves. See, they found out, then they needed to prove it. So, the gave me some silver to hold...

Sirius: Again, REALLY sorry...

Remus: It's fine. Anyway, I held it, even though it burned my skin. They saw that, and they KNEW what I was. However, I still denied it.

James: You were going to take that secret to the grave...

Remus:Then, they where talking about it in the dormatories without me in there, and I overheard them saying that they didn't care, and I knew I could trust them.

Sirius: HAHA! Finially! A real fan! Take THAT, Jacky! Anyway, no thanks. I like my fangirls where they are. Although, you are welcome to join them! Oh, and I also have a signed pawprint from yours truly!

James: Padfoot...you are slick.

Lily:...Peter? You ok?

Peter:...why you gotta be so mean? What did I ever do?

James: Really. Why does everybody seem to hate Peter? He is one of us. So, if you make fun of him, you make fun of us.

Remus: Honestly, I would trust him with my life.

Lily: Me too.

Sirius: So please, just leave him alone.

Peter: Thanks guys...

Sirius: Ok, next question:

_**James: Does Lilly have any habits that you find annoying?**_

_**Sirius: So I know you have kissed A LOT of girls but have you ever been  
>serious with a girl?<strong>_

_**Remeus: If you had a secret, which one of the Mauders would you NOT tell?**_

_**Peter: Have you ever had a girlfriend?**_

_**Lilly: If someone told you a year ago that you would end up dating James what  
>would you have done?<strong>_

_**-Hermione99**_

James: Well, Lily does sometimes drum her fingers on the table, and that can get annoying.

Lily: *Drums fingers* Do not!

Sirius: Of course I have been Sirius! Thats me! Sirius!

Remus: The OTHER serious, Sirius.

Sirius: Oh. Then...yes, I have. It was with a girl named Eliza...

Remus: That girl that ran screaming from our dormatories that one night?

Sirius: Thats the one!

James: ...wow. I take back what I said...

Remus: If I had a secret...I wouldn't tell...Sirius.

Sirius: HEY!

Remus: Well, sorry! But you would just blab it to the whole school, and you would make fun of me.

Sirius:...I am sorry you feel that way. I promise I will NOT make fun of you for the rest of the year.

Peter: My question! Um...no. I have TRIED to have a girlfriend, but no. I have never had a girlfriend.

Lily: A year ago...I would probobly smack the person. No joke. I though that they would by joking around.

James: And if somebody said that I would date Lily, I would be VERY happy.

Remus: Next question

_**For Remus Freakin' Lupin**_

_**Do you think that anyone, besides your friends, related to Sirius and an Auror  
>would NOT care about your "bad behaved rabbit"? Also is it true that you have<br>a "thing" for the Hufflies? WHY?**_

_**For James with-the-awesomest-hair-flip-in-the-planet Potter**_

_**How would you feel if your only son was chased by Voldy-shorts, also married a  
>red-head and named his son after Snivelly?Have you ever bought Sirius or Remus<br>an flea collar?**_

_**For Lily deadly-hexes Evans**_

_**Again I sympathize with you, poor poor Lily who has to put up with these  
>idiots and Remus. So how would you feel if James and Sirius appeared with<br>matching shirts and insisted on naming your child Elvendork?If James proposed  
>you right away, would you say yes?<strong>_

_**For Sirius too-sexy-for-his-shirt Black**_

_**If your brother was to die, while trying to protect Kreacher and defying  
>Moldywarts and his last words were 'I love you Siri',but you found out after<br>death, how would you feel? Also what are your most famous pickup lines that  
>all the bimbos in my dorm talk about and don't let me sleep?(Gryffindor fourth<br>year, really annoying I know)**_

_**For Peter stand-up-for-yourself-already Pettigrew**_

_**If the Lord of everything that's emo and dark(Voldemort not Snivelly  
>Jimmy)came to recruit you but you had to sold your friends out or you would<br>die would you do it? And what is your best subject?**_

_**LONG LIVE THE MARAUDERS AND THEIR RESPECTABLE(STABLE) GIRLFRIENDS!**_

_**Love, a very frustrated Gryfficlaw because his roommates won't shut up about  
>Sirius'inside world<strong>_

_**Lifedrops**_

Remus: *groan* Here we go again...NO. I do NOT have a 'thing' for Hufflepuffs! Gosh...why does everybody think that? Oh...and...hm...I guess...maybe Frank and Alice. They seem trustworthy...but I am still not telling them. Other then that, nobody,

James: My hair flip IS awsome, isn't it? *Does Beiber Hair flip*

James fangirls: *SCREAM*

Lily: MERLIN! I though I sent those witches to the dungeons! BEGONE! *Hexs Fangirls*

James: *Scoots away from Lily*

Lily: Well, Sirius and James have come to me in matching shirts...and I just laughed. And Elvendork? PLEASE! Sounds like a bad case of the flu, if you ask me...and, if he proposed...I guess I would have to think about it.

Sirius:...If my brother died like that...I might actually cry in front of my friends. Oh, and my pickup lines? Sorry, classified information! It is all a secret as to how I get da ladez...

Remus:...Did you...actually misspell Ladys for a cool affect?

Sirius: Uh huh.

Peter: I would NEVER sell out my friends to some wierdo! *evil glint in eyes* Never! Oh, and I would have to say that Care of Magical Creatures is my best subject. Or Herbolgy...

Remus:WHOA! Look at the time! Thats all the time we have for today!

Sirius: Bye!

Peter: See ya.

James: Wouldn't want to be ya!

Lily: Be who?

TWO UPDATES IN ONE DAY? UNHEARD OF! Well, because this story is getting alot of good reviews, I thought I would treat you guys! Oh, and I will TRY to get all questions in the story, but because it is getting SO popular, your question MIGHT not get in. Keep trying though!_**  
><strong>_


	7. Chapter 7

It's another Ask the Marauders!

Lily: Remus, are you sure you want to do this?

Remus: No. But I have to. How much time is left until...SHE gets here?

James:...hour. We could do ONE more episode, then you will need to go on your...date.

Sirius: I actually feel sorry for you, mate. I have met Jenny, and she is a little crazy.

Peter:...A LITTLE bit...?

Remus: Whatever. Just answer the questions...

_**JACKY DUPREE LEAVE SIRIUS ALONE! I love you sirius and your hair!**_

_**For Remus: Do you have any siblings? If not, then would you want a brother or  
>sister and older or younger?<strong>_

_**For Sirius: How long do you intend to grow your hair?**_

_**For James: What quidditch team do you support? Personally i support the  
>ballycastle bats.<strong>_

_**For Peter: What are you plotting? If it's another pudding heist i suggest you  
>rethink it?<strong>_

_**For Lily: What's your favourite subject and why?**_

_**From: Alexonthespot**_

Sirius: Ha! Another fan!

Remus: Jacky:0 Sirius:2

Sirius: How long will I grow my hair...I guess that this length is good.

Remus: No, I do not have any siblings, and I wouldn't want a sibling. With my lycanthrope and whatnot, I don't think it would be benificial.

James: Ballycastle bats? Yeah, there good, but not as good as the Tornados.

Sirius: PLEASE! The Tornados haven't won a game in YEARS! The Chuddly Cannons are the best.

Lily: Can we PLEASE talk about something actually worthwhile? Oh, and I like charms. I don't know why, but I am just good at it.

Peter: Trust me, I will NEVER plan another pudding plot. *Rubs neck* I think you left scars on my neck, Remus...

Remus: Sorry. Ok, next question. Wow...this one is long..

Sirius: So? READ IT!

_**James what would you do if you decided to grow a moustache because you thought  
>it made you look older and mature to try and impress Lily, but she hated it<br>and didn't tell you because she didn't want to hurt your feelings. Do you  
>think that you would pick up upon her hints?<strong>_

_**Lily when you finally agreed to go out with James did you go to the hospital  
>wing to see if they slipped you any love potions, put you under the imperious<br>curse or anything?**_

_**Sirius why do you continue to indulge your fan girls? If you met anybody you  
>truly liked and wanted to have a long happy relationship with them your fan<br>girls would violently tear them apart. To prevent this from occurring what  
>would you do?<strong>_

_**Remus, have you ever considered using the werewolf card to pick up girls. You  
>would be surprised it works. If you were to ever meet a girl who didn't care<br>about your monthly issues and didn't care if you tried to push her away how  
>would you propose? And sweetie those girls who reject you because of those<br>issues aren't worth it as they are shallow ** who will never get far in life  
>if they cannot accept all people no matter how fluffy. Not to mention they<br>aren't exactly fun at certain times of the month either, so they can't say  
>anything, don't give up you will find love (perhaps in the form of a purple<br>haired Hufflepuff cough cough).**_

_**Peter how would you feel if there were literally billions of people who know  
>about your animagus form and want to kill you in a way so painful and<br>agonising that it would make the Cruciatus Curse feel like being licked by  
>puppies?<br>**_

Remus:...OK, lets take turns. James, your first.

James: A moustache, huh? Well, if that DID happen, Lily wouldn't try to spare my feelings.

Lily: I would!

James: ok, so lets say she did. I would SO pick up on the hints!

Lily: Really? ok, lets try this: James, I like your hair, but did you see that one kids hair? I think it looks amazing.

James: Yeah, but mines better.

Lily: Nope. He wouldn't. And, no, I didn't question if I was actually in love with him.

Sirius: Psh! My fan girls would NEVER hurt my steady girlfriend! '

Peter: You sure about that?

Sirius: Yeah, why?

James: Have you seen Rebecca lately?

Sirius:...Merlin.

Remus: My turn. Um... using the werewolf card to GET a girl... never crossed my mind. I would NEVER, though, because they would probobly runaway screaming, or tell the whole school. And how would I propose...? Well, seeing that I will probobly never get a girl, it's not my top priority.

Peter:...*shudders* Ummm...millions...of people...*gulp*

James: It's ok Pete. Nobody can get to you at Hogwarts.

Sirius: Ok, next question.

Remus:...um...thats it.

James: What? No more? Well, that was short.

Remus: Yeah... I still have about 40 minutes until Jenny gets here...

Lily: Well, you can get ready then!

Remus: Get ready? I don't want to! I will just go like this.

Lily: Psh! Like that? Come on. *Grabs Remus*

Remus: HELP ME! *Gets dragged into bathroom*

James:...I'm hungry, lets get lunch!

Peter: Yay!

Sorry I didn't upload yesterday, but I was busy! Please leave more questions!


	8. Chapter 8

Welcome to another Ask the Marauders! Remus will be gone today, because he has a date with Jenny!

Sirius: Oh yeah. I forgot about that...

*bathroom door opens* *Lily and Remus walk out*

Lily:Ok. Your ready.

Remus: What time is it?

James: Quarter to ten.

Remus: It will take a while to get to the tower... *conjurs up picnic basket* Wish me luck...

Peter: Good luck...

Sirius: your going to need it.

Remus: Thanks...thats REALLY helpful... *walks out doors*

James: OH! WAIT! REMUS!

*Remus walks through the doors*

Remus: What?

James: Take this. *hands Remus a mirror*

Remus:...why would I need a mirror?

James: It's a two-way mirror. I will just say your name, and you will appear on my mirror, and I will appear on yours. I will use it when we have a question to ask you.

Remus: Ok, sounds good. Anything to get out of talking to Jenny is good... *Walks out*

Peter: Ok, first question:

_**Sirius: If you had to choose between being James for a a year, or LIly, who  
>would you choose?<strong>_

_**James: How would you name your firstborn daugher?**_

_**Remus: Will you marry me?**_

_**Peter: If you could have a superpower, which would it be?**_

_**From:Mibamonster**_

Sirius: I will go first...and I would have to say... James.

James: WHAT? WHY?

Sirius: Because, I know you the best, so I could act like you and nobody would suspect anything.

James: Yeah right. Act like me. Right now.

Sirius: Fine. *flips hair* Oh mah gosh, I am James Potter, quidditch star, Lily Evens boyfriend, and I think that the Tornados are the best, but they are horrible compared to the Cannons.

Lily:...that was actually pretty good...

Peter: *laughes*

James: *glares at Sirius* Right...anyway, I would name her...

Lily: Sarah. We would name her Sarah.

James:..yeah, what she said. Actually, Sarah is a good name. Oh, it's Remus' turn. *Pulls out Mirror* Remus Lupin.

*Mirror shines, and Remus is on the other side*

Remus: Hi. She isn't here yet. I guess I am early... I did take that secret passage...

Sirius: Yeah, we don't care. Mibamonster wants to know if you will marry her.

Remus: *sighs* Why am I the one always getting asked to marry somebody? No. I won't. I said it a thousand times, I am a werewolf. Nope. Sorry. Not gonna happen.

James: Dude, like EVERYBODY is saying, who bloody cares?

Sirius: Seriously, (no pun intended) we are your friends, Lily is your friend, you get at least 10 people asking you everyday if you will marry them. Nobody cares.

Remus: Fine. I won't play the werewolf card. Still no, though. I want to wait for the right girl...

Lily: Aww!

Sirius: *gag*

James: Ok, thanks for answering.

Remus: Oh, Jennys here! Bye! *Mirror goes blank*

Peter: If I had a superpower...hm...oh! I know! Turning into an animal!

Sirius: *facepalm* Pete...you already CAN turn into an animal.

Peter: Ohhhh...right...um... oh! Turning invisable!

James: Pete...we CAN turn invisable...with my cloak.

Peter: Riiight...then... telepathy!

Lily: peter...thats the same as Accio...

Peter:...oh.

James: Forget it. Next question.

_**Dear Marauders and Lily :)**_

_**HI!**_

_**Peter- Do you have any reason at all that would make you hate your friends  
>enough to betray them?<strong>_

_**Lily- When did you relize you were in love with James? What made you see past  
>his abnormally large ego and idiotic ways to see the great guy beneath?<strong>_

_**James- You and Lily make an amazing couple but why did you never give up on  
>trying to get her to go out with you?<strong>_

_**Remus- Do you like playing pranks as much as James and Sirius do? Also which  
>marauder are you closest to?<strong>_

_**Sirius- I LOVE YOU! :) Your amazing! :) Do you ever wish your family didn't  
>hate you?<strong>_

_**All the marauders- Whats your favourite prank you ever did?**_

_**From: THEcheeseluver12 :)**_

James: Wow...lots of smiles...

Peter: Me? Betray my BEST FRIENDS? Never! *crosses fingers behind back* Thats unheard of!

Lily: Like I said, they only reason I went on that first date was to shut him up. After he told a few jokes, and we talked a little, I realized that he wasn't as bad as I though he was.

James: Oh! I am glad you asked! See, at first, I didn't even notice her. But when Padfoot over there dared me to ask her out, I though for SURE she would say yes. So, I did, but she said NO. Ever sense then, I tried to go out with me, and it WORKED!

Lily:... really? The only reason you asked me out was because of a dare?

James: Yup.

Lily: I'm going out with a five year old...

James: *takes out Mirror* Remus Lupin.

*mirror shines, and Remus' reflection is in the mirror*

Remus: Hey guys. Have you met Jenny?

Jenny: HEY MARAUDERS! oh, and Lily! *giggles*

Remus:*Mouths the words 'Help me'* Anyway, what's the question?

James: Do you like playing pranks?

Remus: Well...it depends on what prank it is.

Sirius: What marauder are you closest to?

Remus:Hm...thats tough...I guess all of you really. I can't pick just one.

Jenny: Come ON, Remus! The soup is getting cold!

Remus: *sigh* bye.

*Mirror goes blank*

Sirius: Another fan! Sirius: 3, Jacky: 0.

James: Actually, I am on Jackys side, so Sirius: 3 Jacky: 4.

Sirius: Why four?

James: Sense I am a maruder, My vote counts as four.

Lily: NEXT QUESTION.

_**Hi, Mauraders, Lily, and invisible voice! To start things out would any of you  
>boys (EXCLUDING PETER because he is weird, a traitor, and I DESPISE him) like<br>to be my boyfriend? Also, how do u come up with your awesome pranks and what  
>are your best? Moving on to individual questions.<strong>_

_**James: How would you react if you found out Lily is secretly in love with  
>Severus ( before u go kill Severus this is just what if I am pretty sure it is<br>not true ) What do you like best about Quiddich?**_

_**Lily: If you caught James cheating on you what would you do? If you were an  
>anamigus what would you be? I am a big fan of u and james and the questions I<br>asked u 2 r just 4 fun so don't hate me.**_

_**Remus: What r your fav. magic and muggle books? What would u find attractive  
>in a girl? ( looks and personality) What would u name a boy or girl if u had<br>1? actually every1 answer that 4 both boy and girl.**_

_**Sirius: Would you give up all your fangirls if u found what u thought was true  
>love? If one of your friends happened to betray another one of your friends<br>and the betrayed person was killed would u get revenge on the traitor? ( glare  
>at Peter)<strong>_

_**Peter: Will u go out with me? Just kidding I hate u with all I am. Would u  
>take an unbreakable vow to never ever betray James, Sirius, Lupin, or Lily. If<br>u do I will stop hating u and be your friend.**_

_**If peter doesn't take the vow carefully consider this why is his anamigus a  
>rat? Oh here's why he is one. Once again the dating offer is up 4 every boy in<br>here but Pete( unless he took the vow then mayb) "dodge curse from Lily. Ok ok  
>sorry James ur out of the dating offer unless u ever break up with lily. Sorry<br>Lils didn't mean it that way**_

James: Wow...lots of questions... Well, I can't be your boyfriend, because I have Lily. And I have to say our best prank was during the fith year, when we trapped Snivilous in a poster! Oh, and our prank secrets are, well, SECRET.

Sirius: I could...but it would only be for about a week. And I am SURE Remus would say something about his lycanthrope, and, you didn't count Peter, so, sorry. None of us are avaliable. And I think the best prank is when we turned Mcgonnagles hair pink

James: If Lily was secretly in love with Snivilous...I would hex that big nosed, slimy haired git. And the best part about Quiddetch...all of it! I love EVERYTHING about it. Whats not to like?

Lily: James? Cheating on me? Ha! He tried to go out with me for 6 years. He wouldn't give me up THAT easily.

Sirius: Ok James. Call Remus.

James: *Takes out Mirror* Remus Lupin.

*Mirror shines, and Remus appears in it.*

Remus: THANK YOU! You gave me an excuse to escape from her talking nonstop about how much she loves me. It gets annoying after a while...anyway, whats the question?

Peter: What is your favorite magical and muggle books?

Remus: oh...tough. Um...well...I can't really decide! I have read alot of books, so I can't just pick one. Sorry.

Peter: Ok then, what do you look for in a girl, including looks and personality?

Remus: Well, for looks...I don't know. I am not that shallow to worry about what a girl looks like, but it would be cool if she could change her looks everyday. For some varity, ya know? And personality...somebody funny, and somebody who doesn't care what other people think about her.

Jenny: REMUS! WHERE ARE YOU?

Remus: oh merlin... I have to go. Bye.

*Mirror goes blank*

Sirius: *rereads question* um...I get the first part, but the second part is kinda confusing... but about my fangirls...I don't know...one steady girlfriend...or tons of girls that change every week...FANGIRLS. Hm...I think I know what you are talking about...If one of the Marauders killed one of the other marauders, what would I do? I would go after that backstabing traitor, and I would kill him so ruthlessly, that the Cruciatus curse feels like there are puppys licking you.

Peter: *shudders*

Lily: pete? You ok?

Peter: H-huh? Oh, i'm f-fine!

Lily: Ok...

Peter: A-again, w-why does everybody h-hate me? I d-didn't do a-anything! And an unbreakable vow...

Sirius: For merlins sake, peter, just do it. Then, everybody would stop hating you.

Peter:...

Lily:...Peter?

Peter: I don't think I should have to! I mean, why would I betray my best friends? I just think that an unbreakable vow would be going a little f-far right?

Sirius: Well, if you arn't going to betray us, you should have no problem doing the vow.

James: They have a point Pete...why are you so scared of doing the vow?

Peter:...I...I...don't know how to do it! Y-yeah thats it...

Lily: oh. Well, I could teach you...

Peter: N-NO!

Sirius: peter, whats wrong?

Peter: W-we are all out of time! P-please tune in next t-time!

James:...Well, he is right...

Peter: *phew*

Keep sending in questions!

Oh, and I am really sorry if your questions are not answered, but I get 20 a day, and I can't pick all of them. However, if everything goes as planned, in time your questions WILL be answered, it might not be as soon as you wish, though.


	9. Chapter 9

Hello, and this is another part of Ask the Marauders!

Lily: Remus should be getting back in 5...4...3...2...1...

*Doors burst open* *Remus runs into room*

Remus: *gasp gasp* I...I think I lost her...

James: Welcome back. Did you enjoy your date?

Lily: James, when a person come running back from a date saying 'I think I lost her', thats never a good sign.

James: Ohhhhh...

Remus: Lilys right! Again! Jenny was so freaking ANNOYING. She just kept talking and TALKING!

Peter: Whoooaaa! Calm down Remus!

Remus: Dont you tell me to calm down, you pudding stealer!

James: Really Moony. Just sit down, and answer some questions.

*Remus sits down, glaring at Peter*

Lily: Ok then...here is the first question. It is LOOONG.

James: How about we break it into sections? I will go first.

_**James: What do you love more Lily or Quidditch? How would you react if there  
>was a worldwide disaster that made it impossible for Quidditch to ever be<br>played again? What would you do if the only way to prevent the worldwide  
>Quidditch disaster was to tell Lily that she is the worst person you ever met<br>in your life and you cannot believe that you wasted so many years trying to  
>get her to go out with you?<strong>_

James: REALLY? You are making me choose between my two loves! Um...thinking...quiddetch...or Lily...Quiddetch...or Lily...Um...I guess...Lily. I pick Lily.

Lily: Really?

James: yup.

Lily: So, if for some reason, you could only play quiddetch, or go out with me, what would it be?

James: You.

Lily: Awww!

Sirius: *gag*

James: If quidditch was, like, banned...I would go into need to find something else to do. I would NEVER tell Lily that. Ever. Even if it ment that I couldn't play quiddetch, I would NEVER say that. Ok, your turn Lily.

_**Lily: Sorry for the Quidditch question I just want to see how he would react.  
>I know you are really a good person and it is nothing personal. If Severus<br>saved the life of yours and James future child who may or may not be called  
>Harry do you think that you may be able to forgive him for calling you a<br>mudblood? Also do those people who call you that have any other insults? Sorry  
>but I want to know it just mudblood sounds like it was made up by a three year<br>old.**_

Lily:...actually, even now, I forgive him. It was just a snap thing that he said. I am sure that he is sorry for it. Is there any other insults...um... not...not really. Well, I have heard blood traitor.

_**Sirius: How would you react if Remus married your little cousin Nymphadora  
>Tonks and had a child? Also if somebody invented a spell that would give you<br>Severus hair and used it on what would you do? Have you found Rebecca or what  
>is left of her? I told you keep an eye on you fan girls, nobody who is sane<br>would behave like that.**_

Sirius: Really, what is up with everybody asking me about my cousin? She is only three years old, for merlins sake! I am pretty sure that Remus wouldn't go out with a three year old, right?

Remus: Yeah. It's...just creepy.

Sirius: Wait, Snivilous hair? The first thing I would do is BURN MY HAIR OFF. Then, I would TRY to grow back my regular hair. I would also rename myslef Pheonix.

Peter: Why Pheonix?

Sirius: Because! I burn my hair, and it comes back out from the ashes...oh, and no. We have not found Rebecca. Although, I did see a fangirl that had her one-of-a-kind ring...

_**Remus: First let me get this out of the way girl's love you, all of you and**_  
><em><strong>frankly your furry little problem just makes you a tad hotter than Sirius. You<strong>_  
><em><strong>will find love though some may reject you because they are closed minded arse<strong>_  
><em><strong>wipes but your friends accept you and others will to. Why is it so hard for<strong>_  
><em><strong>you to believe that anything female will run away screaming if they find out<strong>_  
><em><strong>that you are a werewolf? Look at Lily if it hasn't escaped your notice she<strong>_  
><em><strong>is female and is not running away. Remus I am female, I know about your<strong>_  
><em><strong>problem and am not running away, frankly if I didn't know who your soul mate<strong>_  
><em><strong>was I would ask you out right now. That's right you have a soul mate and she<strong>_  
><em><strong>will accept you and she will fall in love with you, not to mention she is<strong>_  
><em><strong>related to Sirius so she is insanely persistent so the whole I'm too<strong>_  
><em><strong>dangerous thing won't work.<strong>_

Sirius: WAIT WAIT WAIT...hotter...then...me?

James: Here we go...

Remus: Silencio. Anyway, thank you. And, no, I have noticed that Lily is a girl, but this is the girl that is going out with James. I think that if she can put up with James, she can put up with a werewolf. And...soulmate? Really? She is related to Sirius...? Yeah, even if I tell her, she will not give up. ANYBODY related to Sirius is thick headed.

_**Peter: Since Remus beats you up whenever you steal his pudding why do you**_  
><em><strong>persist? Look your doing it right now. Oh by the way Hogwarts is not as safe<strong>_  
><em><strong>as you like to believe, come on Forbidden Forest, Whomping Willow, Chamber Of<strong>_  
><em><strong>Secrets, future death eaters, three headed dogs, plants that can kill you,<strong>_  
><em><strong>pudding crazed Remus basically one person dies a year. The place is a death<strong>_  
><em><strong>trap; I'm surprised it is still open. Just so you know the number of people<strong>_  
><em><strong>who want to kill you slowly and painfully is increasing.<strong>_

Remus: I don't beat him up...

Peter: Yeah, you just maul me.

Remus: SORRY...

Peter: And I am NOT stealing his pudding! I just did it the last two times because I was hungry...

Remus: pudding crazed...? I am NOT pudding crazed!

Sirius: True. You are just chocolate crazed.

Lily: Ok...next question.

_**So Dear Sirius, I now know your amazingly awesome pickup lines. Really  
>Sirius?Seriously(ignore the pun)? I mean what the hell? You have a nice bed<br>may I slytherin? Or can I have my wand in your chamber of secrets?So if a girl  
>who looked like a playwitch model said you are an ** and left you for snivelly<br>how would you react?( I know it's not possible just imagine that happening)**_

_**Dear James,yes your hairflip is awesome but come on don't overuse it! So what**_  
><em><strong>would you think if you became related to the Weasley's one way or another?<strong>_

_**Dear Lily, how would you feel if you found out that Snivelly is in love with**_  
><em><strong>you and that he will be in love for you "ALWAYS"?<strong>_

_**Dear Remus, the Hufflies bit is based on the fact that your future wife was a**_  
><em><strong>Hufflepuf so yeah. Sooo, would you bare to live in the same house with<strong>_  
><em><strong>Sirius for a year, while he throws in various innuedos about you and a certain metamorphmagus( at this point she would be in<strong>_  
><em><strong>her early twenties mind telling you)?<strong>_

_**And not-so-dear-Peter**_

_**If Sirius or anyone for the matter dared you to call for your haters to appear**_  
><em><strong>on the show would you do it?<strong>_

_**Lots of Zonko's pranking sets**_

_**Lifedrops the Gryfficlaw who has to bare a girl snogging Regulus right now in**_  
><em><strong>her dorm<strong>_

_**PS PETER HATERS WAKE UP AND ATTACK!**_

Peter: Why does everybody HATE me!

James: HONESTLY people! He hasn't done ANYTHING wrong!

Remus: May I remind you that without him, I probobly wouldn't be here?

Sirius: So, please, no more peter hate, ok? Oh, and Regulus finially has a girlfriend? About time! He has been trying for about three years. Oh, and those are NOT my pickup lines! Well...except for the slytherin one... anyway, if a a good looking girl went for Snape instead of me, I need to check the balance of the universe, because SOMETHING is off.

James: I only did the hair flip twice! It is NOT overused! Oh, and Weasly... you mean Aurther? Why would I be related to him...? I don't even know him that well.

Lily:...If Severous actually said that...that would be the sweetest thing ever...

James: *GAG* NEXT. PLEASE.

_**Peter, I've got to say that whilst you aren't my favourite marauder I think  
>all the brow beating at this stage in your life is a little unfair and I was<br>just wondering where you see yourself in a few years?**_

_**Lily, you are fab darling and I think everyone will agree! My question for you**_  
><em><strong>is: when you go home for the summer do you find it difficult trying to adjust<strong>_  
><em><strong>to living as a muggle again?<strong>_

_**James, I've got to admit that I admire your persistance in trying to win Lily**_  
><em><strong>over but was there ever a time when you didn't think you'd be a ble to do it?<strong>_  
><em><strong>(also how can you support the tornados? The Appleby Arrows are so much better<strong>_  
><em><strong>and there a sure thing to win the league this year!)<strong>_

_**Sirius, babe, you may drive me up the wall at times but you will always have**_  
><em><strong>my sympthy for the situation you have to put up with at home. My question is:<strong>_  
><em><strong>do you feel that you'd like to have a family when you're older?<strong>_

_**And last but (definately) not least, Remus. Hunnibean, you make me want to**_  
><em><strong>give you the most massive hug, you have all my sympathy (except the little bit<strong>_  
><em><strong>that I gave to Sirius!)but sometimes you really make me want to give you a<strong>_  
><em><strong>good smack round the head! You have the best friends in the world and that has<strong>_  
><em><strong>to at least prove a little that not everyone is going to be scared of you!<strong>_  
><em><strong>What I want to ask is, if you did find the right girl, what sort of<strong>_  
><em><strong>personality (and appearence if you want) would she have?<strong>_

_**This is stupidly long, sorry :P**_

_**Igor xx**_

Peter: THANK YOU! Somebody who doesn't hate me! And I have no idea where I see myself in a couple years. I just don't know.

Remus: I think I have already explained what I would want my girlfriend to be like, but I will say it again. I would like her to not care what other people think about her, and be funny.

Sirius: Would I like a family...? When I am older? Probobly. Right now? Nope.

James: The Applyby Arrows? Meh, there Ok. The only reason they won, though, is because of there brooms. The Tornados have OK brooms, but they are AWSOME. Oh, and I never gave up. Never.

Lily: Awww!

Peter: *GAG*

Lily: Thanks! It's great to have fans. And, it isn't hard at all to adjust to living with muggles. My mum and dad are very good about it, but the only person that I don't think likes it is my sister. She is really mean sometimes...

James: I am sorry to hear that...next question?

_**Remus: How did the date go? (Jenny will probably tell me all about it, but I'd  
>prefer to hear from you first)<strong>_

_**Black:... Hm, you seem very interested in the fact that I don't like you.**_  
><em><strong>Doesn't it seem strange that even when my questions don't appear you still<strong>_  
><em><strong>have to mention me?<strong>_

_**Peter: Why do you think so many reviewers don't seem to like you?**_

_**Lily: Do you miss your friendship with Severus?**_

_**James: Why do you think you were made Head Boy**_

_**From: Jacky **_

Remus: The date when FINE, thank you very much!

Sirius: Translation: 'I hated it! Your friend was really annoying, and it was the worst date EVER.'

Remus: Pretty much.

Sirius: The only reason I mention you, Jacky, is because I want you to know that more people agree with me then you.

Peter: Hmmm... I don't know! Maybe its the constent death threts, people telling me that they HATE ME, or the nasty Emails I have been getting.

Lily:...those are pretty good reasons...and, kinda. I kinda miss Severous, but it's nice to be away from him for a while.

James: Ha! Why was I made headboy! It was because I am SO AMAZING!

Remus: And modest. Don't forget modest.

Peter: One more question?

_**Sirius: Why ru such a player, are u afraid of a relationship or Ru really gay?  
>( cause I heard a rumor that ur secretly in love with James)<strong>_

_**Remus: STOP FREAKING OUT ABOUT BEING A WERWOLF! I happen 2 know a werwolf who**_  
><em><strong>has a wife and kids and they r just fine!<strong>_

_**James: How would u propose to a girl?**_

_**Peter: Take the vow to b loyal to your friends. and u can go overtime 4 it no1**_  
><em><strong>will mind!<strong>_

_**Well bye, ps a message to James: don't trust Peter unless he takes the vow.**_  
><em><strong>Remus: Trust Sirius no matter what. Peter TAKE THE VOW. Lily: Hi and don't<strong>_  
><em><strong>trust Peter if he doesn't<strong>_

_**From: zebragirl5**_

Sirius: WHAT!

James: *GAG*

Remus: *laughes*

Peter: HONESTLY?

Lily: *shrugs* People where bound to think that...

Sirius: LETS GET THIS STRAIGHT, FANFICTION WRITTERS. I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH JAMES, I NEVER WILL BE, I AM STRAIGHT, AND THE ONLY REASON I AM A "PLAYER" IS BECAUSE...

Lily: Because...?

Sirius: because... I can't find the right girl...

Lily: Really? You are just looking for the right girl?

Sirius: Yeah...

Lily: I never would have thought that. Well, ok then. I will never make fun of you for that ever again.

Remus: *sigh* I don't know what you muggles learned about werewolves. You might have heard storys that they are cute, and cuddly, and nice. But there not. They are ruthless killers, and they will destroy everything in there way. Trust me, they are not cool.

Lily: Remus, you said 'they'...

Remus: !

Lily: See? That just PROVES your not one of them! Not all werewolves are evil. Only the sick, twisted ones that go after people, WANTING to hurt them. Like that mutt, Fenrir Greyback. THOSE are the ones that I truly classify as 'Werewolves'. Like we have ALL been saying, you are not one of them. You just have a wierd condition that makes you...a bit hyper once every month. It's nothing bad.

Remus:...you make it sound like its just a cold, and it will go away...

Lily: Sorry if I did, but really. How many people have you hurt?

Remus:...none...

Lily: See? You are NOT dangerous.

Remus:...thanks.

James: Putting all of that aside, I would regulary propose to them. Ya know, candles, dinner, a nice night together. Then, at the end, I give her the ring.

Peter:...Like I said...I won't take the Vow...

James: Dude, WHY.

Peter: like I said... I don't know how...

Lily: And like I said, I can teach you.

Remus: Really pete. Just do it. Everybody won't hate you then.

Peter:...Fine.

Lily: Ok, James, Peter, Remus, you go in a circle, and put your hands in the middle. Ok, James, Sirius, and Remus, say 'Will you, Peter, promise to never betray us to anybody, unless we deem it ok?'

James, Sirius and Remus: Will you, Peter, promise to never betray us to anybody, unless we deem it ok?

Peter...I will.

*bright flash of light*

Lily: It is done.

Peter: *phew*

Please send in more questions!

Oh, and can you see a loophole in the vow...?  
>It's not in what she said, but WHO said it?<p> 


	10. Chapter 10

Welcome to yet another Ask the Marauders!

Lily: We got a LOT of questions...

Remus: But, how are we going to answer ALL of them!

James: We don't. We just pick the best ones.

Peter: but, then some people might not get picked.

Sirius: So? They could just try again. Ok, first question.

_**Peter: IM YOUR FANGIRL! Oh emm gee. Why so much hate for young Peter? He did nothing wrong at this time, and how do you like the name Scabbers?**_

_**James: What type of broom do you have? And how would you feel if you had a son and he became the youngest and greatest seeker of his time?**_

_**Lily: When did you notice your magic, before you got your letter?**_

_**Remus: Is it your Time of Month ;-) ?**_

_**Sirius: Who would you trust with your life?**_

_**From: Half Moon Princess**_

Peter: Yay! Add one fangirl for me!

James: Ok, invisable voice, what is the fangirl score now?

**JAMES: 1,000,652,211,**

**SIRIUS: 1,002,521,623. **

**REMUS: 4,135,562,567. **

**PETER: 1.**

Remus: Really? I am in first place?

Sirius: I'M SECOND?

James: Well, third is ok...

Sirius: I'M SECOND? SECOND?

Peter:...one? Really? *SIGH* anyway, Scabbers, huh? Sounds like a name for a 12 year old rat...

James: I own a Nimbus 1000. Yeah, thats right. Gaze in amazment at my epicness!

Lily: Riiight... anyway, at first, I was doing simple magic. Turning lights on and off, making a flower open and close, and the like. It was Severous that taught me that what I was doing was magic, and that I would go to Hogwarts.

Remus: *checks lunar calander* Hm...next full moon is about two weeks away, so no. Although, I have been more moody lately...

Lily: Like when you almost ripped off Peters arm?

Remus: I DID NOT!

James: Whatever you say Moony. *rolls eyes* Next question please.

_**Dear Dears ( I thought I would go a little Molly Prewett on that one so yeah)**_

_**For Remus: There are some twisted people out there that think you are dating Padfoot. So has anything ACTUALLY happened or are these rumors created by the MHFC (Marauders Hate Fan Club) that Snivelly runs?**_

_**For Sirius: Why you befriend Remus? I can see why you befriended Prongs or Wormy but why Moony?**_

_**For James: If you could get hold of the Ressurection Stone, and the other marauders and lily were dead, but you had a three-people limit, who would you call back and why?**_

_**For Lily: Did you actually have a bet with Alice and Marlene that you could get James to get the other Marauders to dress as cupids and stalk you for the whole Valentines day? I heard Emmeline saying it to Jenny and they giggled like idiots!**_

_**Peter: Could you please retake the vow? I'm not convinced. Also I triple dare you to call for your haters! Marauders don't back out from a dare!**_

_**Farewell my dear dears**_

_**Lifedrops the Gryfficlaw who had all his chocolate taken by Snuffles but then stole his Playwitch magazines and burned them! HEHEHE!**_

Sirius: WHAT? THATS WHAT HAPPEND TO THOSE MAGAZINES?

James: What?

Sirius: Nothing...

Remus: Wait...these people we are talking to, are from , right?

Lily: Let me see...yup.

Remus: Ok, you little dragon boogies. Let me get this into all of your thick skulls. Me, James, Sirius, and Peter are all straight. Always will be. I could care less what those disgusting little minds of yours come up with, but I am NOT going out with Padfoot or Prongs. At all. You can say that we are all you want, you can write stories about it all you want, but the truth is that you are just so lonely that you can find nothing else to do then to write sick little stories about us. You make them so you can fill your own void in your life. So first, GET a life.

Sirius: Honestly. It's like guys can't have friends.

James: Also, I have Lily. So stop making stupid stories about me going out with other girls.

Sirius: Ok, enough about what some people write about us. Now, why did we befriend Remus? Well, he was sleeping in the only empty compartment, so me and James sat there. After we saved Peter, he woke up, and we talked a little. He was then sorted into Gryffendor, so we became friends.

James: You forgot about the rice...

Remus: Let's not talk about that, ok?

Peter: I thought it was funny...Oh, and I will NOT do the vow over again.

Lily: I don't think you need to Peter...and NO, I did NOT ask James to do that. I don't know why, but alot of people are saying that. But trust me, it did NOT happen.

James: The ressurection stone...? I have no idea what that is, but I do know that I would bring back.

Sirius: but, it says three person limit.

James:...then I have no idea what I would do.

Remus: *yawn* isn't it time to quit yet?

Peter: Yeah, I guess...

James: Hang on, I want to see what some people wrote about me and Lily...

Lily: *grabs James by the ear* NO.

James:*gets dragged out the door* OW OW OW OW OW.

Remus: *walks out door*

Sirius: Psh. WALKING out? PLEASE. We are wizards, are we not? *apperates out*

Peter: *looks around* *slowly walks out*

Yeah, this was a little shorter, but hey. I answered three questions!


	11. Chapter 11

Welcome to another Ask the Marauders.

Lily: *yawn* Morning. How many questions?

James: About 4. 

Lily: oh, well thats ok.

Remus: Yeah. Tare getting more and more fans by the hour. Look:

**Remus: 14,515,636,240**

**Sirius:7,152,262,722**

**James:7,152,262,721**

**Peter: 24**

Peter: Wow... 23 more...thanks...

James: AWW! TWO MORE! Come on! Two more fans! TWO MORE FANS!

Sirius: *grumbles* can't belive I am second...

Remus: Shall we answer questions?

James: Yup.

Lily:...Huh? Whats this...

_**Hello Mauraders and Lily, U don't know who I am but I know who ur. U can  
>simply call me by A. I not only know who ur but I know your secrets. I know<br>many people's secrets.**_

_**For example put Severuz under truth potion and he'll tell u that he is in love  
>with Lily. Put Peter under it and u will find out that he is not as sweet as u<br>think. As for the rest of u, u have a secret that I know and also know u want  
>kept secret. So if that is what u want then u better obey me. First for my<br>enjoyment do the things above. More instructions later.**_

_**Kisses, A**_

James:...A?

Lily: Who is this person...?

Remus: She knows...our secrets?

Sirius: *laughs* Yeah right! Like this 'A' person knows ANYTHING about us. Plus, Remus, what do you have to worry about? You already told us your a werewolf. And James, I have known you for the past seven years. I know ALL of YOUR secrets. And wormy...well, I don't know YOUR secrets, but I could care less.

Lily: WHAT ABOUT ME! I have secrets I would like to be kept!

Sirius: Psh! Like A really knows your secret. Just don't do what she says, and nothing will happen.

James: Are you sure?

Remus: I think this could go wrong...

Peter: I DON'T WANNA MY SECRETS TOLD!

Lily: Me neaither! Come on Sirius. I could care less about you, but I am doing what she says.

Sirius: NO. You are playing into her hand! Just don't. Trust me.

Lily:...fine.

Sirius: Ok, next question.

_**James: Would you rather fly into the Whomping Willow or have a polite  
>conversation with Severus?<strong>_

_**Black: You're surprised you're in second? Remus is much cuter than you and  
>he's got a better personality and a smaller head. Would you rather shave all<br>your hair off or tell your mum you love her?**_

_**Remus: First congrats! Second Jenny won't shut up about the date :/ Third,  
>would you rather eat a cockroach or give up chocolate?<strong>_

_**Peter: Would you rather streak across campus or across London?**_

_**Lily: Would you rather live in a cave or kiss a slug?**_

_**These are actually very important questions!  
><strong>_

_**From: Jacky Dupree**_

Sirius: WHAT...SHES BACK!

James: Hehehe. So the Padfoot torture continues. Um...I would rather fly into the Willow. I have been hit by it before, it's no big deal. Oh, you still owe me Remus.

Remus: FINE. *takes out three sickles* There. Now stop making me feel guilty.

Sirius: I...BUT...ME...BETTER...LUPIN...JACKY...Gah! Fine, I will answer the stupid question. If I told my mum I love her, she would shave my head anyway, so I would go with the headshaving.

Lily: Interesting... Well, I have already kissed a slug.

James: Really?

Lily: Yeah. You.

Sirius, Lily, Remus, Peter: OHHHHHHHH!

James: HEY!

Lily: Just joking love. Um...kiss a slug. I would then have to boil my lips, though.

Remus: Ok, my turn. Sorry about Jenny. I should have said no...anyway, I would rather eat a cockroach. I probobly already have as Moony, so it would be no big deal. Oh, and thanks. I never knew that I had so many fans...

Peter: Well, James already dared me to streak across Hogwarts, so probobly that. Been there, done that.

James: I had to clear my memory of that...otherwise I would still be blind.

Remus: Next question.

_**Remus: You are my favourite without a doubt I love you 3! How bad is your addiction to chocolate, would you kill for it?**_

_**Sirius: I love you also! When in your animagus form have you ever tried to chase your tail?**_

_**James: Meh your alright. What kind of socks do you have on? (didn't know what else to ask.)**_

_**Peter: GO DIE!**_

_**Lily: Love yo**_**u **_**hun. If you had to pick between Peter and Sirius who would you choose? (I know you like James and Remus so y'know)**_

_**From:Sentiel Malfoy**_

Remus: I DO NOT HAVE A CHOCOLATE ADDICTION!

Sirius: Is that why you almost ripped off peters arm for that pudding?

Remus:...ok, so I might like chocolate a LITTLE too much. Sue me! Anyway, no, I would not kill for it. I would never kill for ANYTHING, other then my friends.

Sirius: Do I chase my tail? Ya! All dogs do! Watch. *Transforms into a dog*

Padfoot: *chases tail*

Sirius fangirls: *SCREAM*

Padfoot: *turns back into Sirius*

Sirius: THAT, is how to chase a tail!

Remus: Do I chase my tail when I am Moony?

James: once...

Sirius: or twice...

Peter: or all the time.

Lily: *whispers to Remus* How did they do that? *Remus shrugs*

James: Actually, I am wearing blue socks with glow-in-the-dark snitches on them!

Lily: Really? I thought I threw those away...

James: What was that Lily?

Lily: Nothing dear!

Peter:...Ok, what is UP with you guys hating me! I have a question for all of you: WHY DO YOU HATE ME? What have I done?

Lily: It's ok Peter...Oh, and I would choose Peter. He isn't a bighead, and he is nice.

Peter: Really?

Lily: Yes.

Sirius: Ok, next question.

_**Hail oh you almighty pranksters, queen Lily and plain Peter**_

_**For Remmy:Would you date a Veela or a metamorphmagus? Answer me straight and  
>simple and then explain why, I'm sick of this loopholes y'all keep finding in<br>order to not answer me!**_

_**For Jimmy: If You had a Time Turner(a thing that allows to go back or forward  
>in time) where would you go and why?<strong>_

_**For Siri:If I bought you a flee collar and some dogfood would you feel  
>insulted? Also do you have a hippogryff tattoo like the bimbos say?<strong>_

_**For Lily-bud: List me the 3 people you want to hex the most!And if I dared you  
>to hang Padfoot from the Astronomy tower only in his underwear for 3 Galleons<br>would you do it? (If you don't the others can too so yeah. The offer is open)**_

_**For Petey the rat: They say that an animagus form reflects the character of  
>said animagus. How do you think a rat corresponds with your personnality?I<br>WONDER...**_

_**Lots of Gryffindor Quidditch Cups**_

_**Lifedrops, the Gryfficlaw who now serves detention with Minnie-Kittie  
>McGoogles for singing Mary Had A Little Lamb at the top of her lungs while<br>duelling Alectus Carrow past curfew.  
><strong>_

Sirius: That was YOU? I thought that Remus was singing in his sleep again...

Remus: I don't sing when I sleep!

James: Yes, you do.

Peter:Last night, you where singing How to Save a Life. You sing a little off-key...

Sirius: A little? Anyway, no, I wouldn't be offended. Merlin knows how many times James has done it to me...Oh, and I DO have a Hippogriff tattoo! I got it two years ago on my back.

Lily: I didn't need to know that... and I would like to hex Lucius Malfoy, Bellatrix Lestrange, and Alectus Carrow, and I am impressed that you where dueling him! And yes, I would dangle Sirius from the Astonomy tower. I don't even need money.

Remus: Um... I have never met a Veela, but I have read about them. I would rather date a metamorphmagus because they are normal, and it would be cool to see your girlfriend with blonde hair one day, and black the next. Not that I am shallow or anything, but I think it would be cool.

Peter: Why is my Animagus a rat...? I don't know. Honestly, I don't know. Why don't you ask the potion that turned me into an animagus?

James: um... I would like to go back to the first day of school. I mean the FIRST day. It would be cool to relive it again.

Sirius: I think thats all the time we have today.

Lily: Bye!

_**Please send in more questions! The more questions I get, the sooner I can update!**_


	12. Chapter 12

Welcome to another Ask the Marauders! So far, Remus is still WAAAAAAY in the lead by 15,141,562,262 points, James is now second with 10,152,252,262, Sirius is in THIRD with 10,022,784,373. And Peter is still behind with only 42 fans.

Sirius: THIRD? THIRD! HONESTLY! FLIPPING THIRD?

James: HA! In you FACE Padfoot! That will be 12 galleons.

Sirius: *grumbles* I hate you somtimes...*takes out galleons and pays James*

Remus: Honestly! That many people like a chocolate-crazed werewolf! You muggles are more insane then I thought...

Peter: 42? Really? *SIGH* Whatever. Lets answer some questions.

Lily: Ok, this is from a Hufflepuff.

James: Does the letter say who it is?

Remus:...nope. Wierd...anyway, here it is.

_**To the Prankster Kings who will be remembered for future generations (and Lily),**_

_**Ha invisible voice you can add another vote for Peter!**_

_**Sirius: Have you ever considered reforming your ties with Regulus? Or at least having a civil conversation with him? Would you rather date one of your fangirls who only cares about you for your awesome hair, or a certain someone you keep ranting about?**_

_**Sirius: Of course I would like to speak with Regulus again. But... he is starting to worry me. He is hanging out with the wrong group of people... I just want him to be ok. Oh, and if you are hinting that I like Jacky, think again. I would rather date a fangirl. **_

_**James: If you could only say one thing to your kid, what would it be? What the ideal Potter child look like? (I congratulate you one your persistence, although can you never light fireworks over the Hufflepuff table again? I spent hours trying to get the pieces of dungbomb out of my roommate's hair.)**_

James: Hm...I would say 'Quiddetch.' And the ideal potter child would look like me, have Lilys eyes, and be smart like her, but have a sense of trouble, like me!

Lily: Thanks hon...that makes me feel soooo much better about our son...

Sirius: Oh, and about the firework thing...sorry. It was suppost to go over to Snape, but because Remus wasn't there while we were making it, full moon, we didn't get the homing spell on it.

_**Remus: Can you remember anything from the full moon? How do you put up with Sirius and James sometimes? They get so annoying during Herbology. **_

__Remus: Thats the thing. I can't. Have you ever woken up one day, and you can't remember what you did the night before?

Sirius: I have!

Remus: Not counting hangovers.

Sirius:...Nevermind...

Remus: How do I put up with these lazy gits? Well, its simple. A little thing called an Undetectable Silencing Charm. Works EVERY time.

Lily: And I thought you were the good one...

_**Peter: So do you still not have a girlfriend? I'm pretty sure I know some one who would be more than happy to take that position. (clears throat loudly.) What's your dream? Every person has something they wished they could do or be. What's yours? You're a good person, even if some people (looks pointedly around at the fangirls) don't realize it. I mean you have the prettiest eyes I've ever seen. Your smile makes me feel weak at the knees. And your hair- I mean next question: It is our choices that make us who we are. What would be one choice that you'd like to change? **_

Peter: I am currently single. And my dream... is...um...I...I don't know. I want to do alot of things...but I don't count any of them as my dream...and thank you for the compliments. And I would like to change...stealing Remus pudding.

Remus: I thought we where over that...

_**Lily: Slughorn was saying you're brilliant at Potions. Would you be willing to tutor me? I'm hopeless. If you had the choice how many children would you want and what would their names be? **_

Lily: Well, I am not the BEST at potions. I mean, I am good, but not the best. That's Severous. Maybe you should ask him! I would only like one or two kids. If it was a boy, Harry. If it is a girl, Sarah. __

Marauders in General: Would you mind too terribly if a group of students in the generation after yours discovered the marauder's map and began a pranking army named after you (the Mini Marauders)?

James: DUDE! That would be SO COOL!

Sirius: Yeah, we need to have a little army! That would be EPIC!

Remus: Well, I could see the up sides to that...

Peter: As long as the army meetings have cheese, i'll join!__

_**My parting words to all of you: The world isn't divided between the good guys and the death eaters. Everyone has a little evil in them. Don't judge people by their house. (It's the same thing the Slytherins do with blood status.) Stand strong and stay together. There isn't a tighter group of friends out there. Live everyday like it's your last (and no Sirius that does not mean what you think it means). Think before you act and never let anyone stop you from doing what you know is right**_.

_**Sincerely,**_

_**That one Hufflepuff girl (Peter please think about it**_

Sirius: Wow, that saying in the begining...is amazing. I might use that someday...

James: Ok, next question.

_**Pettigrew: Hello, Peter. I suspect you found the army of evil, pink fluffy  
>unicorns I sent to attack you painful? Good.<strong>_

_**Jamesie-poo: Yes you. The one with the messy hair. Never trust Peter. Ever. He**_  
><em><strong>is evil, my dear cousin is spying on a group of alleged Death Eaters, and<strong>_  
><em><strong>heard them talking about 'Wimpy Ickle Pettigrew' joining up. Yeah... Check his<strong>_  
><em><strong>left forearm. And just go and snog ol' Lilykins for me, please?<strong>_

_**Lily: It's hard being one of two sane ones in a group, isn't it? I feel for**_  
><em><strong>you, hon... Completely off topic, what's your favorite subject?<strong>_

_**Sirius: Please threaten some of the slimier of Slytherins with your Animagus**_  
><em><strong>form. It could be misinterpreted as the Grim.<strong>_

_**Remus: Those few sane, smart people with slight chocolate addictions should**_  
><em><strong>stick together. Don't worry, others exist. *Points to self*<strong>_

Peter: Pink...fluffy unicorns? I didn't...

*knock on door*

Sirius: I'LL GET IT!

*opens door*

Pink Unicorn: Is this where...Peter M. Pettigrew is?

Sirius: Yes, he is right over there.

Pink Unicorn: ALL RIGHT BOYS, GET HIM!

*unicorns attack Peter*

Peter: *SCREAM* GUYS! HEEEEEEELP!

Lily: REMUS! QUICK! UNICORNS ARE SCARED OF WOLVES!

Remus: *sigh* Why me... *howls*

Pink Unicorn: WHOOOAAA! GUYS, STOP!I thought I heard a wolf...

Remus: You did. I just called them. You might wanna run.

Unicorns: *SCREAM* *RUNS OUT DOOR*

Peter: T-Thanks...

Remus: No biggy.

Peter: WHY. WHY IN THE NAME OF MERLIN DID YOU SEND PINK, FLUFFY UNICORNS TO ATTACK ME? WHAT DID I DO? HONESTLY!

Sirius: Maybe it's attack Pettigrew day...

Lily: Oh come on! Like that would ever happen...

Sirius: Well, whatever. Anyway, I have never thought about scaring Slytherins with my dog form...could be interesting...

James: PLEASE! Peter as a death eater? I don't belive it.

Peter: Y-Yeah! What w-would I have t-to gain f-from being a death e-eater?

Remus: Peter, why do you have a stutter all of a sudden?...and why are you nervous?

Peter: I-I'm not n-nervous...

Remus: Peter, don't lie. I know you are nervous because I can read your feelings. Whats wrong?

Peter: W-Well I just don't want people t-to be mean to m-me.

Lily: Oh...ok. Really people, just leave him alone. And my favorite subject is charms.

Remus: Ok, next question...Hey, Jacky's back!

Sirius: W-what? Jackys BACK!

_**Black: Yep I'M BACK! Because I had detentions the past few chapters :P. Give  
>me a reason why we should think you are the best Marauder. But it can not<br>involve your looks (uck) you're humor (snore), your rebelliousness (we've  
>heard it a million times), or your perfectness (though I doubt you have it).<br>If you can come up with a good enough reason then I'll stop tormenting you.  
>Got it?<strong>_

_**Marauders (and Lily if it does apply to you): What is the craziest thing that  
>ever happened during a game of truth or dare. (we all have those games once in<br>a while, that's why I am writing this in detention cause I used a permanent  
>sticking charm to glue Mrs. Norris to the Great Hall's ceiling).<strong>_

_**James: How much did your broom cost? (I need a new one I can't be the**_  
><em><strong>Ravenclaw keeper without it)<strong>_

_**Lily (and sorta James): Can you explain how you two got together? One day Lily**_  
><em><strong>hates James and then the next POOF! You're together.<strong>_

_**Remus: Message from Jenny... "You're delicious" It's creepy right? (though I**_  
><em><strong>find it hilarious!)<strong>_

_**Peter: Would you ever be able to live with only one hand?**_

_**-Jacky Dupree, Ravenclaw Muggleborn Quidditch Keeper**_

Sirius: I am the BEST Marauder because... I help the other Marauders!

James: When! You always just laz around until we have to drag you out of bed to do something.

Sirius:...Ok...I am the best because...I have the saddest backstory! My parents hate me...my brothers a death eater...

Remus: Nope. According to fans, I have you beat on that. Bit by a werewolf at age 7, everybody in the wizarding world hates me, all my friends have been scared of me, and I go through that horrible transformation each month.

Sirius:...wow...ok then...how about...the smartest!

Lily: HONESTLY? You have been getting A's your whole school year, whereas I have been getting O's.

Sirius: FINE. How about the marauder that nobody likes?

Peter: Well...

Sirius: I GIVE UP!

James: Calm down there Padtoe. Anyway, the craziest thing would have to be when Remus told Lily about his condition. Oh, that, and Lily actually kissed me. Mind, this was BEFORE we were dating.

Lily: Like I said, might as well have kissed a slug...

James: HEY!

Lily: JOKING! Joking...

James: My broom cost 50 Galleons and 13 sickles. I got it on discount, so... and, Lily already kind of explained how we got together. She dated me once, apparantly to shut me up, and ever sense then, she has liked me.

Lily: I don't know what is was...but I just didn't make fun of him anymore.

Remus:...no comment on Jennys message...just...no comment...

Sirius: WOW, She IS creepy!

James: You JUST realized that!

Peter: Live with one hand? No! I need both hands to carry my books, shake hands and write assignments.

Remus: one more question...

_**Hello ******,**_

_**So giving second chances isn't really my thing but since u don't believe I am**_  
><em><strong>serious ( if u make a joke I will punch u Sirius) then check out Pretty Little<strong>_  
><em><strong>Liars and see what I can and will do. But b4 I go I should let little Peter<strong>_  
><em><strong>know that I know how big of a slimy traitor he is and that I recommend he obey<strong>_  
><em><strong>me so Peter I want u to make an Unbreakable Vow using these exact words said<strong>_  
><em><strong>by Lily, I do so solemly swear that I will never betray the Marauders, Lily,<strong>_  
><em><strong>any of their girlfriends, or descendants or ever assist Voldemort or any death<strong>_  
><em><strong>eaters or other evils. Oh and Sirius u have your secrets so don't b so cocky.<strong>_

_**Bye Bye for now, kisses A**_

Lily: SEE! SEE! SHE KNOWS US!

Sirius: P-please! She...doesn't know anything!

Remus: Sirius, you are unsure of yourself...

Sirius: N-No i'm not!

Remus: Yes, you are.

Peter: I am NOT doing the Vow again! It hurts...and I already did it! So, no, I won't!

Remus:...Ok, 'A'. I don't know who you are, or if you DO know our secrets. But I will not make Peter do the vow again. Tell my secret if you must, but leave Peter and the others alone.

James: So, next time, we learn Moonys secret?

Remus: I doubt it. I don't even really think she knows...

Lily: Well, thats all the time we have for today! Please tune in next time!

Remus: Bye.

James: Who ARE you talking too?


	13. Chapter 13

Welcome to another ask the marauders!

Lily: Ok, more questions.

Remus: Lets get right to them. First question.

_**James: What's your most embarrasing memory that NOBODY knows about?**_

_**Sirius: Would you rather go around school wearing a pink frilly scarf and singing Rebecca Black, or dye your hair red?**_

_**Remus: I dare you to say Jennyusmagicus.**_

_**Peter: What would your reaction be if I told you there was cheese pudding?**_

_**Lily: What would you say...if I told you...your named after...a...FLOWER? DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUUN!**_

_**Everybody but Remus and Lily: Hey guys. Gullibles written on the cealing.**_

_**From: FriendofLuna**_

Sirius: Really?

James: I can't see it...maybe I should get new glasses...

Sirius: Wait, what does gullible mean...?

Peter: Hey! I think I can see it!... no thats just a water stain...

Remus: *laughes*

Lily: Wow! You actually fell for that! Ha!

James: SHUT IT. My most embrassaing memory...would have to be getting cought in a bramble bush in stag form, and then getting saved by Hagrid.

Remus: Why didn't I know about this?

James: It wasn't important...Anyway, I was taking a stroll around Hogwarts, and my antlers got cought in a bush. I was out there for like 3 hours before Hagrid helped me.

Lily: Oh, well thats nice of him.

James: Not really! He kept me as his pet for about 3 more hours! Finially, when he was knitting antler warmers, I escaped.

Sirius: And you never told us!

James: Nope.

Sirius: Wow. Anyway, I would rather sing Rebecca Black while wearing the scarf. Ya know, IT'S FRIDAY! FRIDAY! GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY!

James: MY EARS! *glasses break*

Lily: NO! NOOOOO!

Remus: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Peter: AAAAHHHHHH!

_**BZZZZZZZZTTT]**_

_**SORRY WE ARE EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICLLUTLYS. YOUR SHOW WILL BE BACK ON IN A MOMENT**_

Sirius: Whoa, what happen

Lily: I think you broke the main camera...good thing we have a backup camera. Anyway, Remus, answer your question.

Remus: Jennyusmagicus? What does that...

*POOF* *Jenny falls from the sky*

Jenny: What the...were am I?

Remus: What...NO!

Jenny: REMUS! *SCREAMS* I KNEW YOU LIKED ME! *tackles Remus*

Remus: AAAAAUGGG! GET HER OFF OF ME!

Sirius:Do we have to?

James: Yeah... *teleports Jenny away*

Remus: *GASP GASP GASP*

Peter: Are you ok?

Remus: JUST PEACHY. ANSWER YOUR QUESTION PETER.

Peter: Oh, I wasn't even reading the que... CHEESE PUDDING! *Squeals* *Falls back*

Lily: Well, that answers that...

James: Ok, next question.

_**Dear Marauders, Lily and the stupid future traitor Peter,**_

_**James: if you had to go into hiding who would your secret keeper be and how**_  
><em><strong>did you come up with the name Marauders?<strong>_

_**Remus: would you go out with me I am a fellow chocolate freak and I also have**_  
><em><strong>the same furry little problem as you or you can go out with Padfoots cousin<strong>_  
><em><strong>Nyphie,[don't tell her I called her that).<strong>_

_**Sirius: if you were put in Azcaban how would you break out?**_

_**Peter: do you want to know why everybody hates you?**_

_**~~~ The SUPER SLYTHERIN**_

_**P.S I am not really a sytherin I am a Gryffindor undercover**_

_**P.S.S I found one of your maps and figured out how to work it I am sneaking**_  
><em><strong>out to Hogsmede and hoping that I don't get caught I have your invisability<strong>_  
><em><strong>cloak to<strong>_

Peter: YES! I would like to know why everybody hates me! Why?

Sirius: I would probobly sneak out somehow...

James: How? Nobody has escaped Azcaban.

Sirius: I dunno...I could use my dog form...

Remus: That could actually work...anyway, YOU ARE ALSO A WEREWOLF! No way! Impossible! I would know. And NO. I would not go out with a two year old! Thats...just creepy!

James: I would choose Sirius! He would NEVER tell my secret, EVER. I trust him.

Lily: Next question.

_**Dear Mr's. Black, Lupin, and Potter, Pettigrew.**_

_**How DARE you have a talkshow during class! I demand an explination this INSTANT!...**_

_**Oh, and Mr. Lupin, congrats on getting alot of fans. I am only docking you 3 points.**_

_**Now, as for Mr's. Black, Pettigrew, and Potter, I am docking each of you ten points. Yes, , from my own house. **_

_**Sincearly, **_

_**Minerva McGonnagle :-)**_

Sirius: Awww, come on Minne!

Peter: Did you even notice Lily? She is sitting right HERE! *points at Lily*

James: WAIT...did...she...smile at the end!

Remus: Thanks Proffesor! You always were the best teacher!

James: *nudges Sirius* *Mutters* teachers pet...

Lily: Anyway, next question.

**_Lily:  
>If you had to choose between Severus or Sirius which would you choose? (Stupid<br>question right)_**

**Remus: I am your number 1 fan! I think your amazing. What would you do if I**  
><strong>told you millions of girls are obsessed with a werewolf. Who's not you.<strong>  
><strong>(Stupid girls...)<strong>

**James: Why do you have such weird glasses? And when did you get them?**

**Sirius: When get into a lot of trouble, does the school notify your parents?**  
><strong>If they do, do you ever get howlers from them?<strong>

**Pettigrew: Should I even call you that? Ok, sorry. I guess it's your future**  
><strong>but your ok(ish) now. So yeah, just word of warning, don't go to the dark<strong>  
><strong>side. Even if they have cookies.<strong>

**Farewells,**

**Peeve's Little Plotergist**

**P.s Sleep with one eye open tonight. Hehehe**

Peter: But I like cookies...

Remus: Peter, let me explain this to you... Dark Side=BAD.

James: I had to have these glasses when I realized that I was nearsighted, which was about 10, and I have had them ever sense. I don't think there wierd...

Sirius: No, the school doesn't notify my parents. They use too, but after my family sent a hower to the teachers, saying that telling them about what there No-good son is up to was wasting there time, they stoped telling them.

Remus: What is up with everybody obsessing over werewolves? We are not as cute and cuddly and you might think. We are not some stuffed animal. We are real animals with the teeth and the claws and the 'GRRR' and the 'AHHH!'

James: Nice demenstration there Moony.

Remus: Well its true...

Lily: I would choose Severous. Hands down.

Remus: one more question...wait, this isn't a question! This is a link to youtube. Should we click it?

James: Sure.

*Computer shows Snapes Worst Memories*

James: *SOB*

Sirius: *cries*

Remus: *sheds a tear*

Lily: *BAWLING AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS* Oh, SEVEROUS!

Peter: *stares blankly at the screen*

Lily: *wipes tears* T-That was so sad...

James: Yeah...that guy actually looked like Snape! I feel so bad for that guy!

Sirius: ME TOO! *cries*

Remus: Ok, sense those two dunderheads are too busy bawling there eyes out, it is time to end the show. Bye.


	14. Chapter 14

Welcome to another Ask the Marauders!

Lily: *Yawn* How long have we been at this...?

Remus: A while. Maybe a week or two.

James: I can't belive it snowed last night...

Sirius: I know! It will be bad quiddetch conditions for months...

Peter: Whens breakfast?

Remus: Lets just asnwer some questions.

_**Remus: in the last episode you were told girls obsess with a werewolf other  
>than you. WRONG! I beleive it was a reference to that %#?**$! Jacob Black. HE<br>IS NOT A F***ING WEREWOLF! He turns into a wolf at will and is clearly an  
>animagi! AND TWLIGHT WILL NEVER BE THE NEW HARRY POTTER! IT FAILS ON SO MANY<br>LEVELS! I know that will mean nothing to you, marauders and lily. Love you  
>Remus x<strong>_

_**Peter: I feel sorry for you. Everyone's being so mean. He hasn't done anything**_  
><em><strong>YET people!<strong>_

_**James: Do you think it would be cool if you had 7 of yours sons flying across**_  
><em><strong>the country at the same time, along with one of best friends? (hint:<strong>_  
><em><strong>coughremuscough)<strong>_

_**Sirius: HEY! How do you feel about being named after the brightest star in the**_  
><em><strong>sky? *she vomits*<strong>_

_**Lily: When and how did you find out about Remus' furry little problem and had**_  
><em><strong>you ever suspected it before?<strong>_

_**LOVE YOU ALL!**_  
><em><strong>From: AlexOnTheSpot<strong>_

Remus: Black? As in...he is related to Sirius?

Sirius: Jacob...Jacob...nope. Never heard of him. However, if he IS a werewolf, that would explain it. My whole family doesn't like half-breeds, as they put it.

Remus: Remind me to never go over to your house... and if this Jacob can just turn into a wolf at will, even in the middle of the day, he is an animagi. He might SAY he is a werewolf, but I higly doubt it.

Peter: THANK YOU! I haven't done ANYTHING!

James: SEVEN SONS? ARE YOU MAD? SEVEN?

Lily: Of course we wouldn't have seven of our sons flying across the country! We would have **ten** sons flying around our TOWN, not the whole country!

James: TEN! *faints*

Remus: Does anybody have any smellingsalts?

Sirius: I have an old gym sock in my Quiddetch locker...

James: *wakes up* NO! I'm fine!

Sirius: I already KNOW I am named after a star. We are actually learning about it in astronomy! It's pretty awsome, like me!

Lily: Good question...well, I had kind of expected it. I thought it was kind of wierd that he was gone every month, but sense I didn't see him every day like his friends did, I didn't really notice his scars, or exactly WHEN he was gone. Like I said before, he kind of told me himself. During truth-or-dare.

Remus: I wasn't planning on it, but it worked out well. She didn't freak out at least.

Lily: Next question.

_**Peter: I won't tell you why everyone hates you MWAHAHA**_

_**James: You didn't answer my last question how dud you come up with the name**_  
><em><strong>Marauders<strong>_

_**Remus: Yeah I am a werewolf and I am obsessed with chocolate you want proof**_  
><em><strong>meet me up in the astronomy tower at 8' O clock tonight<strong>_

_**Sirius: what would you do if Peter was a traitor which he is**_

_**Lily: YOU ROCK**_

_**~~~ THE SUPER SLYTHERIN**_

_**P.S I still have your map but I think I left it behind one of the coats of**_  
><em><strong>armor<strong>_

_**P.S.S Remus you didnt know about me because on full moons me and my friends  
>who are animangus go and chase centars in the forbidden forest<strong>_

Remus: I still don't belive you. Dumbledore is crazy enough to have ONE werewolf running around school! He would never let two in at one time. Oh, and I already found the map. But can you please give back the cloak?

James: HE TOOK MY CLOAK?

Lily: He said that last time...

Sirius: HOW DARE HE TAKE OUR MAP AND CLOAK!

James: OUR cloak?

Sirius: YOUR cloak, but its OUR map!

Remus: OUR map? Who was the person who spent hours staying up trying to compleat it?

James: Who was the person who found all of the secret passages?

Lily: QUIET! You all helped make the map! Now just answer the questions!

James: FINE. We came up with the name Marauders when we planned our first ever prank, and Moony was reading something about Marauders, which were like thives, and we decided that the name fit us.

Sirius: I don't belive that Peter is a traitor. I trust him. Next question...wow, its long. Lets break it into sections...

_**Hey Marauders! **_

_**So first off to Lily: High-five girl! I know dealing with boys can get  
>annoying and down right frustrating but its ok to let loose once in a while,<br>you know? I deal with my own two dunderheads all the time. ;3 **_

Lily: Meh, they arn't THAT bad, but sometimes they get on my nerves...

James: Like when?

Lily: Like that one time you put a love note in my cereal, and I ATE IT.

Remus: Very classy prongs...

James: Blame the dunderhead who said to do it!

Sirius: Well, it worked with the one girl... __

_**Sirius: Bloody hell were you the guy they put me on a blind date with? Oh**_  
><em><strong>Merlin...I'm taken mate by my special little git. You are cool though I'll<strong>_  
><em><strong>give you that, but do us a favor and calm down padfoot, everyone has their<strong>_  
><em><strong>unique quirks not just you!<strong>_

Sirius: Oh I remember you! Hi! And I KNOW everybody has there cool points, I just have more then others! For example, can you block two bludgers at the Slytherins and unseat 3 of them?

Remus: Yeah, but how many people on our team did you unseat in the process?

Sirius:...2...__

_**James: Ah finally with Lily I see, good job...looks like even dunderheads can**_  
><em><strong>get smart girls. (aka Lily and I) I mean no offense though keep on pranking<strong>_  
><em><strong>you guys keep things interesting!<strong>_

James: Thanks. Hey, are you the girl that is going out with Sirius' brothers best friends cousin?

Sirius: Oh, I know who you are talking about, but it's my brothers best friends cousins sisters brothers friend's friend.

Lily:...who?

Remus: The girl in Hufflepuff who eats rice all the time.

Lily: Ohhhhh...

Peter: WHO?

_**Remus: *Sticks out tongue* Of course we know that you're not cute and cuddly,  
>what would be the fun in that? I'm just clearly mental mate so deal with it,<br>whether you like it or not there are girls out there that like you just as you  
>are and wouldn't want you any other way!<strong>_

Remus: *Facepalm* Great! All of my fans are mental muggles who think werewolves are cool...

_**Pettigrew: hmm give me a sec I can't say what I want to in a letter...**_

*GreenRider-Inheritance-fanatic

___**poofs into marauder's room thing***_

Green: I HATE YOU! **A****ND YA KNOW WHAT? YOUR MOTHER IS A *****ING LORAMIBSON ************ ADMIDEVENIUM ********* TRAGULA ********* HIPPOPOTAMUS ********* REPUBLICAN *********ING DANIEL RADCLIFFE ****** WITH A BUCKET OF **************** IN A CASTEL FAR AWAY WHERE NOBODY CAN HERE YOU ******* SOUP ************ WITH A BUCKET OF ******** MICKY MOUSE ********** AND A STICK OF DYNAMITE ************MAGICAL ************ ALAKAZAM!**

Peter: *stares at Green in horror*

Lily: *gasp* EXCUSE ME? We do not have that kind of languge here!

Sirius: Dude! Can I use that!

James: I thought I heard Dumbledore say that swear once...

Green: GAAAAAAAH!*Thrashes wormtail to the point her 'dunderheads' drag her away (still screaming) muttering apologies*  
><em><strong><br>-Back to letter-**_

_**Ahem...yes...that did not just happen... He stole...uh my chocolate...yeah..**_

_**Marauders (except Pettigrew *traitor*): Would you accept a girl as a Marauder**_  
><em><strong>or is this plainly a "guy" group? I mean seriously, let me join in! (Pretty<strong>_  
><em><strong>please with a cherry on top? I have chocolate...and...and...You guys are<strong>_  
><em><strong>awesome? *glares at peter*)<strong>_

James: After that whole scean, you can DEFINATLY join the Marauders!

Sirius: HONESTLY! Hey, can you PLEASE teach me that swear? PLEASE!

_**_Lily: How did Petunia take to not being able to go to Hogwarts with you_? Do  
>you think anything would turn out differently if she had and what house do you<br>think she would have been in?**_

Lily: She took it rather hard...she was very angry, and I think jeleous. And yes. I think she would have a different outlook at magic. I think she would have been in Gryffendor, or maybe even Ravenclaw.

Remus: I think thats all the time we have today!

Peter: *stares at door in horror*

James: I think green broke him..._  
><em>


	15. Chapter 15

Welcome to another Ask the Marauders!

James: Wow, I never noticed that we got around 70 questions...

Remus: I think we should go back and try to answer ALL of them.

Lily: ARE YOU CRAZY? ANSWER 70 QUESTIONS IN ONE DAY!

Peter: Not in one day. Like before, about three questions per chapter.

Sirius: Fine with me. Lets start!

_**Remus:...pfft... *laughs uncontrollably* I am SO SORRY. hahaha...okay okay. Yeah, Jenny's a fangirl. I'm trying to break her of that. Anyway, have you ever gone out with Mary McDonald (you guys would make the cutest couple)**_

_**Peter: Are you ever going to stop trying to steal the chocolate pudding from Remus?**_

_**Lily: Have you ever gotten a T in anything? (I heard McGonagal got one in Herbology)**_

_**James: Would you ever consider dying your hair blonde?**_

_**Black: Not a good enough answer... but I have no questions to humiliate you with. You're really just not worth it. Ta, ta.**_

_**-Jacky Dupree**_

Sirius: JACKY! AGAIN?

James: Guess so...this is an old one though. Anyway, dying my hair BLONDE? No thanks. I don't want to look like Peter.

Peter: Hey! I like my hair! And yes. I stopped trying to steal Remus' pudding a while ago. I would like to keep my arm, thanks.

Lily: A T? What does T stand for?

James: Troll.

Lily: I have never even heard of it before, so I don't have one.

Remus: Mary? No thanks. Like I have been saying, I don't want to date right now. I probobly won't EVER, but apperantly I have a 'soulmate', so I am just going to wait.

Sirius: Ok, next question that ISN'T from Jacky.

_**Hey, Mauraders and Lily. A Is taken care of, she'll never be bothering you again. Hehehehehe. I caught her attempting to hide a recorder which would shout out all of your secrets in the Great Hall. I mailed it to you and u should be receiving it soon.**_

_**Lily- What is your favorite tv show? What are some of your fav. muggle books?**_

_**Remus- If u had never met the Mauraders how would u be different? If you had the choice to no longer b a werwolf but lose your magic which would u choose?**_

_**Sirius- If u had the choice of looking like Severus for life, receiving the dementor's kiss, or becoming a death eater which would u choose?**_

_**James: Would u die for "The greater good"? Do you know Dumbledore's real life story?**_

_**Peter- Your friends love u and trust u so never ever abuse that. People hate u because u act suspiciously all the time. Would u sacrifice your life to protect a son James had from Voldemort?**_

_**All Marauders and Lily: U can change things for people. If u all start being kind to Severus he will change for the better. Sirius, your brother needs u to b there for him and help him form into a good person. There are some good Slytherins out there and if u get him to hang with them he won't hang with the Death Eaters.**_

Remus: I wondered why we haven't heard from A in a while...and I would be VERY different. I would probobly have no friends, and I would just sit in the library all day and study.

Peter: But...she said what would CHANGE. Moony, you're in the library everyday.

Remus: So? And I would choose...um...on one hand, no friends...but on the other hand, no job, life, or any MORE friends...I would have to choose...um...I can't decide! Really! Thats a tough question...

Sirius: AWWWW...COME ON! You give ME the hard question...um..if I got the Dementors kiss, I would have no soul. If I looked like Snape, I would have no girlfriends. If I was a death eater, I would have no friends. So...You leave me no choice...I would rather look like...*gag* SNAPE.

Lily: HA! Really?

Sirius: Well, it's eaither that, or live without a soul.

Lily: True... Ok James, answer your question.

James: The greater good...what does that mean, exactly? We all think we have something important to fight for, but is it really justice? And I don't really know Dumbledores life story. I really don't snoop that much to figure it out, and if he want's to keep it secret, I will let him.

Peter: I don't act suspicious! And I would sacrifice myself for any of my friends. Or there kids, for that matter.

Lily: My favorite TV show...thats tough... I don't really watch TV much...I can't really say. But my favorite muggle books would have to be...pride and predjuduce, and Romeo and Juliet.

James: Ok, last question!

_**Hi!**_

_**Dear Peter,**_

_**Youre not my absolute favourite marauder, but I don't hate you. Honestly, I feel so bad for you, since you haven't yet done anything wrong. Anyway, what's your life at home like? Is it a happy place?**_

_**Remus,**_  
><em><strong>Hi! If I told you that I knew someone who could rival you in chocolate loving, how would you react? How would your friends react?<strong>_

_**James,**_  
><em><strong>Honestly, no offense, but I have a thing for forbidden love, meaning I don't think you and lily are a great couple. You guys are on my top 5 character list, along with Sirus and two others who's names I can't say for fear of messing up several things in the future, but youre not too great together. Sorry! How come you have such good Seeker reflexes, if you're a chaser? I play Chaser, too!<strong>_

_**Sirius,**_  
><em><strong>Hi! If you want to go on a date sometime, I'm single. Anyway, do you play Quidditch? If yes, what position? What's the craziest thing you've ever done to annoy your parents, besides land in Gryffindor?<strong>_

_**Lily,**_  
><em><strong>Hey girl! You are one of my favourite female characters! The other will not be named here. Sorry.<strong>_  
><em><strong>If you had a son, what would his first name be? Middle name? What if you had a daughter?<strong>_

_**Question for everyone that is fully intended to cause argument:**_  
><em><strong>What is the best color?<strong>_

_**Remember Sirius, if you want to go to Hogsmeade sometime, just ask!**_

_**_Love,_  
>Georgia McLain<strong>_

Sirius: Of course I play Quidditch! I am a beater, and a VERY good one at that! And the craziest thing I have done...is probobly say that my best friend is dating a muggle born, and that my other friend is a werewolf.

Remus: Gee, thanks.

Lily: Did it make them mad?

Sirius: DUH! I think they were even madder then when I was in Gryffindor! You know them, always about 'pure-blood' and all that.

Lily: Huh...anyway, my son would be named Harry. I don't know about the middle name, but if nothing else, James. Harry James Potter. And my daughter would be Sarah Lily Potter.

James: I hope we have a boy... and I have no idea why I would be a good seeker, but I am a chaser. I guess I am good at different things.

Remus: I highly doubt that somebody loves chocolate more then me. I really highly doubt it. Do they keep unmeltable chocolate in there pocket every second of there life? Do they eat ten bars a DAY and still not get cavities? And most importantly, does there mother own the largest chocolate factory in Britian? THOUGHT NOT!

Peter: My home? Meh, it's ok. Kinda boring though. We live in the coutry, so theres not much to do. I like to go out in my animagus form and go around the field, though. But, there was one time, when a hawk tried to grab me...yeah, that wasn't fun... Oh, and the best color is YELLOW, duh.

Sirius: I don't think so. The best color is red.

Remus: Sorry to tell you, but the ultimate color is blue.

James: Nope! It's green!

Lily: You are ALL wrong! The best color is purple!

Remus: Purple? Please! Blue is the color of the sky and water.

Peter: SO! Yellow is the color of cheese and the sun!

Sirius: Actually, the color of the sun is RED, which it why it's the best color!

James: Green is better then ALL of those because it is the color of grass and trees!

Lily: Purple is amazing because it is the color of royalty!

Sirius: Well, so is red!

Remus: blue is calming! Red just gets people mad!

Peter: Yellow is the color of happiness!

James: Green calms down people too! Blue it just depressing!

Lily: GUYS! SHUT IT! Who cares what the best color is!

James: She's right. We shouldn't be fighting over something so stupid...

Sirius: That was almost as bad as our fight on which movie was better...

Remus: Yeah, we are not going back there. Anyway, thats about all the time we have for today. Please tune in next time for another chapter!

I was board today, and sense I am home from school today I decided to go over older questions that I would have liked to put on here. Oh, and thanks for the questions! I never even noticed that I had over 70 reviews! Thank you! Please send more questions!


	16. Chapter 16

**Welcome to another Ask the Marauders! Please check out the poll on my page to vote for the best Marauder! Each chapter will have the current standings on who everybody thinks is the best Marauder. Lily will be on there too, so please vote!**

Lily: Really? You mean that our current rankings will be deleated?

James: NO! That means I am back to square one! And I was ahead of Padfoot! NOOOOOOO!

Remus: I am expecting that EVERYBODY will vote for me.

Peter: I KNOW that nobody will vote for me for some unknown reason.

Sirius: I hope I don't get third place... AGAIN...

Lily: Can we PLEASE answer some questions?

_**Dear Peps,**_

_**James: I won't give back the cloak until Remus believes me and I am a SHE**_

_**Sirius: Who came up with the animangi idea**_

_**Remus: Dumbledore told me that as long as I am able to keep away from the school or village I am fine.**_

_**Peter: I still don't like you**_

_**Lily: If you didn't date James then who would you date**_

_**All: if you had kid(s) what would you name him/her/them**_

_**~~~ The Super Slytherin**_

James: REMUS. SAY THAT SHE IS A WEREWOLF. JUST SAY IT!

Remus: But she's not! Dumbledore would NEVER allow it! If she just hangs out in the forest...she could hurt somebody! Plus, Moony would know if there was another werewolf close by.

Peter: Really...? Because this year Moony HAS been acting strangly...

Remus: Really? And you never told me?

Sirius: And remember that one time we heard that howl...? We thought it was Moony, but it sounded different...

James: Remus, I think there IS another werewolf around Hogwarts!

Remus: I...I still don't belive it...

Lily: Just answer the questions. I would have probobly have dated Zach Webb. He is in seventh year, like us, and is in Ravenclaw.

Sirius: The animagus idea...well, after we figured out Remus was a werewolf, we tried to find out something that would let us stay with him every month. It took us a year, but Peter finially found about Animagi, so, technically, it was Peter who found it.

Peter: Yeah, and it took us how long to finially get the transformation right?

Remus: Well...we started early third year...and the first day back in the fith year Sirius got his transformation right. Oh, and I would name my kids... Amanda, or...John. After my dad.

Peter: I would name them Tyler and Taylor.

James: Harry or Sarah.

Lily: Ok, next question.

_**James: Why do all you Potters always fall for redheads?**_

**_Black: YES AGAIN! You can't get rid of my right to free speech. Okay let me_**  
><strong><em>give you a hint at why I don't like you besides the fact that you are<em>**  
><strong><em>conceited, rude, etc. Do you remeber the last time Ravenclaw beat Gryffindor<em>**  
><strong><em>and you threw your beaters bat at a girl Ravenclaw Keeper and it ended up<em>**  
><strong><em>getting her a concussion? : Though not._**

**_Remus:...Okay this is getting ridiculous. You do have a life outside of being_**  
><strong><em>a werewolf you know. So live it! Take a chance! There are plenty of girls who<em>**  
><strong><em>are willing too! Just look at how many fans you have.<em>**

**_Peter: Just ask Professor Trelawny why everyone hates you. She does have the_**  
><strong><em>'Inner Eye' you know :P<em>**

**_Lily: I am a feminist and I am sickened by the way the boys think of their_**  
><strong><em>'fangirls', how do you feel about this fangirl phenomenon?<em>**

**_Marauders: Here's a gift to you: I was walking to Herbology and Malfoy stopped_**  
><strong><em>me in the hallway and asked if I was the filthy little Mudblood keeper. I said<em>**  
><strong><em>yes and before he could go off on how filthy my blood is, I told him his hair<em>**  
><strong><em>looked nice. Then he started talking to me about gorgeous his hair was! For a<em>**  
><strong><em>full twenty minutes! I swear he was worse than Lockhart. So that's my gift to<em>**  
><strong><em>you, use it well (please blackmail him as I am getting annoyed with dueling<em>**  
><strong><em>him whenver he goes off on his "Mudbloods are scum speech")<em>**

**_From: Jacky Dupree_**

Lily: Really? Twenty minutes? We officially have four hair obsessed people at hogwarts this year...

Remus: Yeah...Malfoy, James, Sirius, and Lockhart.

Sirius: I do NOT obsess over my hair!

James: Me too! I'm not like Lockhart!

Remus: You both spend about two hours working on your hair in the morning.

Sirius: SO? I care about how I look!

Peter: *cough cough* GIRLEY *cough cough*

Sirius: WHAT DID YOU SAY?

Peter: Nothing!

Lily: Sirius, don't strangle Peter. And as long as James' fangirls don't harass us too much, I am fine. Sirius acts that way to ALL girls, so I am not surprised.

Sirius: Wait...the Quidditch match...OHHH...that wasn't me! That was Remus!

Remus: Last time Ravenclaw beat Gryffindor...Oh...hehe...yeah that was me... but I didn't intentionally throw it up! Sirius ran into me, and I accidentally threw it up! I didn't know it hit you! Oh, and in case you are wondering, yes, I do play Quidditch. I am a Beater, like Padfoot.

Peter: I am the only Marauder who doesn't play Quidditch...

James: Well, you TRIED, but you failed. You couldn't even get on the broom!

Peter: Don't remind me...

Remus: *sigh* Yes, I know that I have a life besides being a werewolf, but ever sense they passed that Werewolf Law saying that we have to tell our employer we are werewolves, it has become VERY difficult to find a job. Even if I have all O's, they still won't hire me. Not even that ice cream shop in Diagon Ally will allow me to work there! I will end up having to get a job in the muggle world...now don't get me wrong, that would be ok, but how will I explain that I have to take a sick day every month? Plus, muggles don't pay in galleons or sickles. They pay in muggle money. I can't use that in Diagon Ally!

Lily: There should be a job for werewolves only...

Remus: Like what? Sheep hearding?

Lily: No, something that would make use of your strenght and heightened senses.

Remus: That would be cool...anyway, peter, your turn.

Peter: I never thought of asking Trelawny...hm...

James: What do you mean do all Potters fall for redheads? My mom isn't a read head. I think Lily is the only redhead in the family for a while... anyway, last question.

_**Sirius: Are you secretly in love with Jacky Dupree? Which of the snakes do you  
>like the best? you have to pick one. no loopholes.<strong>_

_**Remus: do you really eat ten bars of chocolate a day? Also, my friend, Lexi,**_  
><em><strong>might show up at your studio thing later. Don't worry. shes super down to<strong>_  
><em><strong>earth. She's almost exactly like you, really, only not as chocolate obsessed<strong>_  
><em><strong>and more pranky. you guys will love her!<strong>_

_**James: what's the stupidest thing you've ever said to Lily?**_

_**Peter: Did the sorting hat debate putting you in any other houses? Which ones?**_

_**Lily: when did you decide that James was "an arrogant, big-headed prat?"**_

_**Everyone But Sirius: What is the stupidest thing Sirius has ever done/said?**_  
><em><strong>Details, please.<strong>_

_**Love,**_

_**Georgia Mclain**_

Sirius: I DON'T EVEN KNOW JACKY! So no, I do not like Jacky. And I have no idea what 'snakes' you are talking about...

James: The stupidest thing...hm... I don't...remember anything that was stupid...

Lily: Trust me, you have said PLENTY of stupid things. Like that one time, you said that I was as cute as a grindelow.

James: I didn't know what a grindelow was! I thought it was like a mermaid...

Lily: Sure...anyway I knew he was a bigheaded prat when he asked me out the first time. He was just like 'Hey. Your going out with me. Your welcome.'

James: I didn't say that!

Lily: Yeah, but you were acting like it!

Remus: Actions speak louder then words...and YES, I do eat ten chocolate bars a day. I like dark chocolate, but sometimes I eat regular milk I don't think ANYBODY will be coming in here... we had to lock the doors to keep the fangirls and Peter haters out.

Peter: Yeah...ever sense that unicorn attack, we needed to beef up security. Oh, and...yes, the sorting hat was contimplating putting me in other houses. At first, he thought about hufflepuff. Then he saw my cunning, and was seriously considering putting me in slytherin, but he decided to put me in Gryffindor.

James: The stupidest thing Sirius has ever done or said...well, that one time, he chased .

Sirius: Hey! It was the day after I compleated the first transformation! I had the brain of a dog then...

Remus: That's not saying much, considering you USUALLY have a brain of a dog. But the part that made it even better was the fact that you weren't even in your animagus form! You were human!

Lily: WHAT!

James: Yeah, Padfoot saw Ms. Norris one day, and he chased after her! It took us about half an hour to find him, and when we did, he was knocked out. Apperantly, Peeves dropped some books on his head.

Peter: Good times...

Sirius: *Rubs head* I still have that scar...and good thing nobody saw it but you guys.

Remus: Well, thats about all the time we have today! Please tune in next time!

Thanks for reading! I have had over 600 different people read this, and over 2,000 hits! You guys are the ones who are making this story so popular! Also, please vote on my profile page to who YOU think the best Marauder is.


	17. Chapter 17

**Welcome to yet another Ask the Marauders! Invisable voice here, and the current standing for the best Marauder has Sirius in the lead with only 3 votes, Remus is behind him with 2 votes, Lily has 1 vote, and James and Peter have none.**

Sirius: YEAH! NUMBER ONE! YEAAAAAAAH! WOOOOOO!

Remus: Sirius...only THREE people voted for you. THREE.

Sirius: Yeah, well thats more then you!

Peter: Whatever, can we just get to the questions?

Lily: PLEASE?

James: Ok, here is the first question.

_**Hello, My first question is for everyone. What things do you consider worth  
>dying for? <strong>_

Sirius: MY HAIR!

Lily: Honestly?

Sirius: no. Actually, I would die for my friends. Anyday.

Lily: Same here.

Peter: Me too!

James: I would die for you guys and my kids.

Remus: I would too.

_**On to individual questions.**_

_**Lily- if u had a kid and u and James both died how much would u want/not want**_  
><em><strong>Petunia to take raise him? James answer that too<strong>_.

Lily: HA! Petunia taking my kid! Thats a good one!I don't think she would want to, considering that he will be a wizard.

James: Again, I have never met Petunia. __

James and Sirius: How often have one of your fan girls stalked you?

James: Only EVERYDAY!

Sirius: Honestly! They chase us every day! Or, they use to for JAMES, but they still chase me.

Lily: I hope no fangirls chase you James...

_**James: If lily were to die today do u think u would ever date again? If u were  
>to die today would u want lily to eventually date and get married?\<strong>_

James: I would NEVER date again...or for at least a week.

Lily: Gee James. That makes me feel SOOOO much better.

James: I'm joking! Honestly, I don't think I could. And yeah, I would want Lily to have a good long life. Even if it's NOT with me.

Lily: Aww...James!

Sirius: *GAG*

_**Sirius: I dare u to jump into the middle of the group of your fangirls.**_

Sirius: WHAT, DO YOU HATE ME? THEY WILL TEAR ME APART!

Remus:...really?

Sirius: YEAH!

*Remus walks up and opens door* *Remus levitates Sirius into the swarm of fangirls*

Sirius: REMUS...WHAT ARE YOU...GAHHH! *falls*

Fangirls: *SCREAM!*

Sirius: HELP ME!

Remus: Nah.

Lily: *Stares at Remus* Wow...you are more like a marauder then I thought!

_**Remus: Stop putting yourself down. You can date and have a life. Ur dangerous  
>at full moon. Solution go far away near full moon and everyone is ok. U<br>deserve and inside want love so go for it. Right other Marauders, Voice, and  
>Lily<strong>_

Remus: But...

Lily: NO BUTS. Listen to what your millions of fans are saying!

James: honestly Remus. Your not as dangerous as you think.

Sirius: *still in fangirl swarm* GET ME OUT OF HERE!

Remus: FINE. Accio Sirius Black.

*Sirius flys out of fangirl swarm and doors shut*

Sirius: WHY DID YOU PUT ME IN THERE?

Remus: The fangirls were going to break in here, I thought that I might as well give them what they want so they would leave!

Sirius:...smart... anyway, despite that, Moony you are NOT dangerous.

Peter: I wouldn't have stuck up for you if I thought you were dangerous.

_Over one million people can't lie, Remus. You aren't as dangerous as you make yourself out to be._

Remus:...thanks.

_**Peter: Hi Peter! Piece of advice: if u want more fangirls like your fellow  
>Marauders eat less, get a cool hairstyle, and be confident.<br>**_

Peter: Really? Hm... I never thought of that...

_**Invisible Voice: What Ru. Is your job fun?**_

_I am a magical invisable voice created by Remus to help with this talkshow. And yes, my job IS fun!_

_**One final request, Could u guys have Alice, Frank, Severus, and maybe a few**_  
><em><strong>other people join the show?<strong>_

_**All questions above from: Zebragirl5**_

Remus: What do ya say, Invisable voice? Can we get them over here?'

_Maybe... although we can only have two people at a time, and it will take a while to get them here..._

Sirius: Cool... I think that we should have Frank and Alice on here on day.

James: Ok, next question.

_**Peter: HOW DARE YOU FIND YOUR WAY AROUND THE UNICORNS! The bananas will get  
>you! AND MY BAT-BOGEY!<strong>_

_**Sirius and James: MAYBE you'll get more fans if you both stop obsessing about**_  
><em><strong>your hair. I'm a fan, don't worry! Remus is just... Better!<strong>_

_**Remus: As I said to Prongs and Padfoot, you're awesome. 'Nuff said.**_

_**Lily: Why did you stop my unicorns? I was.. Doing something to save the**_  
><em><strong>future...<strong>_

_**Sincerely,**_

_**Blue the Amazingly Clumsy Gryffindor**_

Peter: B-BANANAS?

Sirius: QUICK, GET OUT OUR MONKEY ARMY!

James: We don't HAVE a monkey army.

Sirius: What about all of those little people running around?

Lily: Sirius, those are FIRST YEARS!

Sirius: So?

Lily: We are NOT going to send a bunch of first years to fight a bananna war! Also, I didn't stop the attack! It was Remus!

Remus: You told me too! Plus, it was to save Peter. And thanks.

James: MY HAIR IS AWSOME! AWSOME!

Sirius: MINES BETTER! THATS WHAT ALL THE FANGIRLS LIKE! AMAZING HAIR!

Lily: Not really...next question.

_**James: What hex haven't you used on Snape?**_

_**Lily: I am voting for you! :) Anyone who can put up with those dunderheads**_  
><em><strong>(and Remus) is the best in my book.<strong>_

_**Peter: How did you meet the other Marauders?**_

_**Remus:... thank you for telling me the truth Remus. I won't hold it over you**_  
><em><strong>head. But you owe me. I'd say... five pounds of chocolate and you have to do<strong>_  
><em><strong>my History of Magic homework for a week. Does that sound reasonable?<strong>_

_**Black: For once I agree with you. I AM MAKING A FORMAL ANNONCEMENT. SIRIUS**_  
><em><strong>BLACK IS A JERK! WHY WOULD I LIKE HIM? AND HE CLEARLY HAS NO FEELINGS FOR ME!<strong>_  
><em><strong>STOP THE GOSSIP! C'mon I have a boyfriend and he has his fangirls.<strong>_  
><em><strong>From: Jacky Dupree<strong>_

Sirius: THANK YOU! We hate eachother! There is no WAY that I like her! HONESTLY...

Lily: Really, I see NO sparks between Jacky and Sirius. At all. Oh, and thanks for the vote!

James: Well...I haven't used the Jelly-leg curse yet...

Remus: You sure? I thought you used it on him ONCE...

James: No, that was Malfoy.

Remus: *SIGH* ALL of your history of magic homework for a week? And FIVE POUNDS OF CHOCOLATE?...fine. I will give it to you...lets see...next tuesday during potions. Thats the earliest that Ravenclaws and Gryffindors have a class together.

Peter: Well, I met these guys on the train. I was being bullied by Malfoy and Bellatrix, and James and Sirius helped me.

James: I'm sure Remus would have helped too, but he was sleeping.

Remus: Well, it was a couple days after the full. I was really tired.

Peter: Thats all the time we have today!

Remus: Really..? Wow, it is! Ok, tune in next time!

**Think of some questions for Frank and Alice! They will be in the next chapter!**

**And please vote for your favorite Marauder at my info page! Thanks!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Welcome to another Ask the Marauders! Today, we have VIP's, Frank and Alice!**

**The current standings for the best Marauder is Remus and Sirius tied with 4 people each, Lily and Peter have 1 each, and James has none.**

James: WHAT? NO VOTES? WHY...

*Doors open, and Frank and Alice walk through*

Frank: Wow...nice use of the room of Requirements...

Alice: I never even knew this place existed...

Lily: Hey! We have extra chairs, so just sit were ever you want, and all you have to do is answer questions!

Frank: Sounds simple enough...

Remus: ok, first question!

_**Frank and Alice: Tell us a little about yourselves, since we don't know as  
>much about you as we do the Marauders.<strong>_

_**Lily: Who is your best friend?**_

_**Peter: Who is your worst enemy?**_

_**James: Have you ever had a bad hairday?**_

_**Remus: Thanks, and I forgive you. :)**_

_**Black: I'm in a good mood so I'll ask a reasonable question: Why is your hair**_  
><em><strong>so long?<strong>_

_**From: Jacky Dupree**_

Sirius: *sighs* I just grow my hair out long naturally. I think it looks better then, say, Peters mullet.

Peter: HEY!

James: Well, it's true...

Frank: Well, my dad is a muggle who is a carpenter, my mom is a witch who works in the apothacary shop...Um...I have been dating Alice sense the fourth year...and I like caramel.

Alice: My dad is a wizard who works for the misitry, my mom is a witch who also works for the ministry, I met Lily when I was five, and we have been friends ever sense. It was just a conincidence that she happened to be a witch too.

Lily: Yeah...kind of funny how that worked out. Oh, and Alice is my best friend.

Remus: No problem...I have too much chocolate anyway...

Alice: um...what exactly happened?

Remus: Well, I accidentally threw my beater bat at Jacky, and she wants me to give her chocolate to compensate for it.

Peter: My worst enemy...the malfoys. They are just...evil.

Sirius: Did you know my cousin is dating Malfoy?

Peter: WHAT?

Sirius: Yeah. They will be married this summer... I can't wait to crash it!

James: A badhair day? Please! Thats not in my vocabulary!

Lily: Along with countless other words.

James: Hey!

Lily: Just kidding!

Peter: Ok, next question.

_**James,Sirius,and Remus, you all are my favorite Marauders :D and Lily is also  
>awesome<strong>_

_**James: Would you name your child Elvendork? Since its unisex**_

_**Sirius: How bad do you want a flying Motorcycle?**_

_**Remus: What is your favorite type of Chocolate?**_

_**Lily: If Petunia tried to make up for all the horrible stuff she did to you,**_  
><em><strong>would you accept her apology?<strong>_

_**Peter: I don't like you ever since you did the unacceptable:P**_

_**L-U-N-A-654**_

James: Elvendork? No. Just...no.

Frank: Elvendork...? What kind of name is that?

Lily: My thoughts exactly... and if Petunia just appoligized I would forgive her.

Sirius: I already have my moterbike! It's amazing! Chrome, with a high speed gaudge and it even has Padfoot written across the side! I got it for my 16th birthday!

Alice: Really? Your family got you something that expensive?

Sirius: HA! My parents getting me something...good one! No, the Marauders pitched in money to get it.

Alice: Really? That was nice of you!

James: Yeah, just one problem.

Frank: What?

James: HE NEVER STOPS TALKING ABOUT IT!

Remus: Yeah...sometimes he talks about it in his sleep. Anyway, I like dark chocolate with a little caramel in the middle. Well, peanut butter is good too...

Sirius: NEXT QUESTION!

Alice and Frank- If u had a kid what would u name it?

_**Alice- How cool do u think it would b 2 have a kid the same age as Lily's kid?**_

_**Frank- What do u honestly think of the Mauraders?**_

_**Sirius- No, I don't hate u, I just thought it would extremely entertaining. Do**_  
><em><strong>u know why Hagrid got expelled? ( if u don't u should get him drunk, u can get<strong>_  
><em><strong>him to exspose any secret that way ;) try)<strong>_

_**Lily- did the hat consider houses other than Gryffindor for u? Do u agree that**_  
><em><strong>people should just say Voldemort instead of you-know-who?<strong>_

_**James- Did u get the tapes with your secrets on them I sent u? How has your**_  
><em><strong>day been?<strong>_

_**Remus- If u met another werwolf would u be willing to date her because I know**_  
><em><strong>a site for u, its like a werewolf dating site.<strong>_

_**To every1- Do u want to know who Lord Voldemort is or his life story? If so**_  
><em><strong>say so and I will tell u because I know. Finally Remember one thing- love<strong>_  
><em><strong>conquers all even death<strong>_

Frank: Wait...Remus...

Alice: Werewolf...

Remus: *facepalm* We never did explain it did we...?

Sirius: Ha! This is going to get interesting!

Lily: Now Alice...it's not what you think...

James: Yeah...Remus just...ummm...

Peter: REMUS DATED A WEREWOLF ONCE.

Alice: Wait, what?

Remus: Yeah Peter, WHAT?

Peter: well...he dated a werewolf once...and it didn't go well...but ever sense then...um...he has wanted...to date another werewolf! Yeah!

Frank: Ohhhhh! I get it...ok...and my honest opinion of the Marauders...they are trouble makers. They are funny, but trouble makers.

Alice: Well, that makes sense... and I think it would be cool! Our child would have somebody nice to hang out with!

Frank: Oh, and Remus, I woudn't trust werewolves if I were you.

Remus: And, uh, WHY is that?

Frank: Well, you know. The whole monster thing and all. Really, they brought all of the prejudice on themselves.

Remus: HOW? You know, not ALL werewolves are bad!

Frank: Well...that MIGHT be true, but still. They are dangerous.

Remus: *sigh*

Sirius: ANYWAY, getting Hagrid drunk, huh? Yeah, we figured that out in our first year. We never really asked him any personal questions like that. I just don't think it would be fair.

Lily: The hat considered me for Ravenclaw, but for some reason it put me in Gryffindor. And I do agree that people should call Voldemort by his name.

Frank: *shudders*

Remus: What? It's just a name. Fear of the name increases fear of the thing itself.

James: Wait... secret...tapes...do you mean...OH! Heheheh... yeah...just, keep it a secret, ok?

Remus: Ok, what are you hiding?

James: I'm not hiding anything!

Sirius: You ARE! Your ears are twitching, that means your lying!

Lily: James, what secret tapes?

James: It's nothing important.

Peter: Uh huh...

James: Uh, hey! Isn't that all the time we have for today? Please check in next time!

Alice: Well, we best be going. It was nice seeing you guys!

Frank: Yeah, we will have to come back!

Sirius: Yeah! See ya!

Frank: Bye!

*door opens* *frank and alice leave*

Remus: DATING A WEREWOLF? HONESTLY?

Peter: Well, it was eaither that, or they found out about your furry little problem!

Remus: You could have came up with a better excuse then that!

James: Really Peter, you could have. But I would check out that site if I were you, Moony.

Remus: Oh shut it Potter...

**Who should the next guest be? Please respond via comments or you can PM me! Don't forget to send in questions!**


	19. Chapter 19

**HAPPY THANKSGIVING! And welcome to another ask the marauders! The current standings for best marauder have Remus in the lead by 7, Sirius is behind with 4 votes, and Lily and Peter are stilled tied for third with only one vote. And James has none.**

James: AWWWW!

Lily: Oh thats RIGHT! It IS Thanksgiving! The feast will start soon...

James: YAY! The feast! There stuffing is always delecious!

Remus: Yeah... Remember last year, it was a full moon on Thanksgiving?

Peter: Yeah...we had to CATCH our own turky that night...good thing Hagrid keeps some out in the forest.

Lily: I don't even want to know... Anyway, we will only have two questions today. So the first question please.

_**My dearest dears**_

_**Remus if you were given a chance to kill Greyback would you do it?**_

_**Sirius do you regret anything you ever done to someone?What and to who?**_

_**James how would you react if your son/daughter was NOT a mischief-maker and McGonnagal actually liked him?**_

_**Lily what would you do if your sister had a son with Vermin that she called terrible names like Dudders or Duddleykins or Duddy? AND also bullied your son?**_

_**Peter would you be able to survive in you animagus form for more than a decade?**_

_**AND A DARE FOR YOU:I challenge you to break that rule; do a Sonorous during lunch and start singing God rest Yeh Mary Hippogryffs. If you succeed I shall give you CHOCOLATE AND ZONKO PRODUCTS!**_

_**Love and Brownies, Lifedrops the Gryfficlaw who unfortunately has to watch the pitifull attempts of one Regulus Black trying to seduce her bestie!(honestly Sirius even YOUR pickup lines were not that bad!)**_

Remus: Kill Greyback... hm...if I had a chance, then yes, I probobly would. I mean, wouldn't you? One person causes your whole world to fall apart...it would only be justice. Wait, no. I wouldn't kill him. I would give him to the Dementors. If anybody deserves the Kiss, he does.

James: If my kid was like that, I would seriously question if he was my kid, or if we adopted him. There is no WAY that my child would not be a trouble maker. Sure, he will probobly be smart, because of Lily, but he would still want to make trouble.

Peter: A DECADE? I probobly could, but I have never tried...

Remus: After a while, you would start to look and act like your animagus form, even when you are a human.

James: Oh, good news pete! You wouldn't change at all!

Peter: HEY!

Sirius: Well its true. And I regret yelling at my brother...when he got in slytherin, he started hanging out with some death eater wannabes, and I was angry at him. We argued, and I really regret it. Oh, and we will do the song! We were going to do it anyway, and Zonko products will make it even better!

Remus: ok, next question.

_**Marauders: It's time for another game of would you rather? Only this time, you actually have to perform these tasks. Or there will be consequences...**_

_**James: Would you rather hula dance in public or sing a love song to McGonagal?**_

_**Black: Would you rather admit you're undying love for Mrs. Norris or play patty-cake with a troll?**_

_**Remus: Would you rather listen to Malfoy talk for two hours about his hair or go on a second date with Jenny?**_

_**Peter: Would you rather lick a giant's armpit or ask a girl to dance?**_

_**Lily: Would you rather run around in your underwear in the Great Hall saying "The nargles made me do it" or never read another book ever again.**_

_**-The very Evil Jacky Dupree**_

Remus: GREAT! Just great... I would rather... listen to Malfoy. I put up with Sirius talking about his hair everyday, so it wouldn't be much different.

Lily: Ok, well you have to do it...so good luck.

James: Here is my mirror. I think Malfoy is in the second floor picture hall.

Remus: Ok... I will be back.

*Remus leaves*

James: Ok...lets see... *takes out Map* He's there...this could take a while, so Padfoot, you can answer your question.

Sirius: Hm...I would have to say...playing patty cake with a troll! Only one problem Jacky, there are no trolls around Hogwarts! Ha!

James: Nice! Well, considering I have already sung a love song to Minnie in our first year, I think I can rule that one out. However, I have not yet hula danced... In public though... I will once Moony comes back. Oh, right... *checks map* Him and Lucius are still standing there. How long has it been, Lily flower?

Lily: Only about thirty minutes.

Sirius: Ha! And he thinks me talking about my hair is bad...

Peter: Um...I would rather dance with a girl.

James: One problem, there are no girls around here.

Lily: I...

James: That aren't already taken. Sorry Wormy, but you need to find a girl.

Peter: Fine.

*Peter goes out into hallway*

Sirius: Five...four...three..two...and...

*SCREAM* *Slap* *Peter walks back in*

Peter: Yeah...she didn't want to...

Lily: Wait, I can't read EVER again? Thats impossible! I need to study! And I don't want to run around the great hall in my underwear!

Sirius: Yeah...if you think about it, it doesn't seem that fair...

Lily: So I will have to say not read, but I will still have to read.

Peter: So...is that it?

James: Nope..we still need to wait for Moony to get back.

2 HOURS LATER...

*Doors open* *Remus walks in*

James: Hey! So, how did it go?

Remus: HOW DID IT GO? HOW DID IT GO? I spent two hours listening to Lucius talking about how to properly comb your hair, and how much volume it should have! If I have to hear another word about hair, I will shave my head!

Sirius: Geez, calm down. Just sit down, and eat some chocolate.

Remus: *sits down* Anyway, what happened?

James: Nothing much...peter got slapped, Sirius was going to play patty-cake with a troll, but found a way out of it, and I am going to hula dance.

Remus: Wait, what?

*doors open* *James leaves*

10 MINUTES LATER...

*Door opens* *James walks in*

Lily: So...how did it go?

James: Meh, could have gone better. Malfoy was there, and I managed to hex him while hula dancing.

Remus: Yeah, because that is a skill we should all learn. *rolls eyes* Next question.

_**Lily: how on earth do you put up with James doing hairflips all the time**_

_**Moony: since you're smartest (apart from lily) I assume you take muggle studies, so what is 13x8?**_

_**Prongs: who has better hair? you or padfoot? *whispers* I know you love pranking so I have sent a present that contains conditioner that will turn wormy's hair green, convince him to use it...**_

_**Padfoot: are you dating Marlene McKinnon? and while you're at it could you invite her?**_

_**Wormy: I have sent you a present of conditioner use it wisely in is top quality, peter *smirks**_

_**From: Huggy1324**_

Lily: Meh. After a while you get use to his obnoxious hair flip.

James: My hair flip is NOT obnoxious!

Sirius: Well, after a while, it does get old...

Remus: 13x8? Easy. It's 104. You don't have to be in Muggle Studies to learn that, math is used even in the wizard world, but just not as muc

James: Well, obviously MY hair is better!

Sirius: IS NOT!

James: IS TOO!

Sirius: IS NOT!

James: IS TOO!

Remus: SHUT UP! Nobody really cares!

James: *mutters* My hairs awsome...

Sirius: Marlene McKinnon? Nope. I know her though. Sixth year Ravenclaw? Brown eyes and dark hair?

Lily: Yeah, I think thats her...

Remus: Well...we MIGHT be able to have another guest on here. Maybe...

Sirius: Well, looks like thats all the time we have today! Please check in next time for more Ask the Marauders!


	20. Chapter 20

**Welcome to another Ask the Marauders! The current standings for best Marauder STILL have Remus in the lead by 8 votes, Sirius is still behind him with 4, Lily has had one more vote making her total 2, and Peter and James are tied with one vote.**

James: HA! YES! I FINIALLY HAVE ONE FAN...AND THAT SOUNDS REALLY SAD...

Remus: Just a little...

Lily: Wow! Third place? Cool!

Peter: Just that one person voted for me? *sigh* Well, at least I have my fan.

Sirius: FOUR! FOUR? THATS FOUR LESS THEN MOONY! HE IS AHEAD OF ME BY HALF!

James: Wow! Sirius! You can do MATH!

Sirius: Shut it Antler Boy. Just...bring up the first question.

_**James: Imagine: you're just walking around the school, doing your thing, being awesome, when all of a sudden you realize you're SECRETLY SEVERUS SNAPE in a James costume. What would you do?**_

_**Sirius: If you heard there was a literary character by the name of Jacob Black, and he would be able to change into a giant dog, and had a huge motorcycle, would you have him arrested for identity theft?**_

_**Remus: Imagine: There is this girl, pretty, funny, intelligent, a chocolate lover and very pro-lycantrophy, who is more than willing to marry you, because she has been in love with you for ages. (This girl would be me.) Would you try and make things work with her?**_

_**Peter: If you could be Sirius for a day, what would you do?**_

_**Love**_

_**the future Mrs. Lupin**_

Remus: W-What? The future Mrs. Lupin? Uh...hm...well...I can't because...well, for one I am a werewolf...

Sirius: NOBODY BLOODY CARES.

Remus: FINE! Then...um...just...sorry, but I am not looking for anybody at this time, so please stop with all of the marrage proposals. One, I am only seventeen. Two, I am not looking for anybody at this time. Three, apperantly I have a 'soulmate' and I will not date anybody but her.

Sirius:Hm...giant dog... big motercycle... last name Black... Hey, he sounds like me!

James: *facepalm* THATS THE POINT!

Sirius: Oh! Yes, I would arrest him! There is nobody cooler then the original Sirius! RIGHT FANGIRLS?

Fangirls: *SCREAM*

James: I thought you locked the door!

Sirius: Meh. I thought they would like to watch this. Anyway, yes. He is obviously trying to duplicate my AWSOMENESS! IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN! NEVER!

James: Riiight...anyway, if I was really Snivillous in a James coustume, I would just continue my life as normal. I was secretly Snape a second ago, and just because I realize that doesn't mean I should compleatly change my personality.

Lily: Wow...that was actually well thought out!

James: Yeah, well, I had to use a speech like that on Remus in the second year, so yeah.

Remus: Yeah...except the speech you used on my was longer.

James: Well, yeah. But I don't think we have three hours.

Lily: REALLY? It took THREE HOURS?

Remus: About.

Lily:...wow...

Peter: If I was Sirius for a day I would go out to all my haters and tell them how much Sirius thinks Peter is amazing!

Sirius: You better not... Anyway, NEXT QUESTION!

_**Remus: Your my favorite Marauder! Anyways, what would do if there was no chocolate anywhere in the world?**_

_**Sirus: Have you ever taught of freaking out Trelawney by charming your animagus to look like the Grim and follow her around.**_

_**Lily: How do you survive living with those idoits? I can barely survive five minutes with them.**_

_**James: Who do you hate most, Snape or Malfoy?**_

- Ivy

Remus: I would get my Umpa Lumpas to make more!

Lily: What if they couldn't?

Remus: I would go into a chocolate withdrawl.

James: ug...that wouldn't be pretty. Remember that one time when Remus was all out of chocolate, and Sirius said 'Chocolate' once in that chatroom? Man, Moony, you FLIPPED OUT.

Remus: But...my chocolate was gone...

Sirius: Have I tried to prank Trelwrany? Actually, I have! When that one person told me that my animagus form could be mistaken for the grim, I decided to prank her! You should have seen her face! I thought her eyes couldn't get any bigger under those glasses, but I was wrong!

Lily: Years of practice Ivy...years of practice...

Remus: And earplugs help too.

James: Snape. I hate Malfoy, but Snape moreso.

Lily: *sigh* Ok, next question.

_**Sirius: Will you PLEASE stop ignoring my cousin's exsistence? She's your Number 1 Fangirl... Just give her 1 date and she'll stop bugging me. Do it for me! Please!**_

_**James: Sorry about your popularity, or lack thereof. Don't worry you have fans! We just prefer Sirius, Peter, Lily, and Remus! And SHUT UP about your hair!**_

_**Remus: Hi! I have an enormous supply of Honeydukes chocolate! I'm happy to share it!**_

_**Lily: I will seek out your source of finding my unicorns' weakness, and destroy it.**_

_**Peter: The bananas WILL continue to attack you. How you have more votes than James is a mystery to me.**_

_**~Blue the Amazingly Clumsy Gryffindor**_

Sirius: Your cousin...oh. Her. Fine. One date. A picnic by the Black lake this Saturday.

Remus: Sure! I would love some chocolate! Just send them over to the Boys Dormatories.

James: I don't talk about my amazingly epic hair THAT much! I could talk about it ALOT more...

Lily: Um...I just read it in a book somewhere...

Remus: And I just helped!

Peter: HA! The joke is on YOU! The first years have already eaten most of them! They will never reach...

*knock on door*

Sirius: I'LL GET IT!

Peter: NOOOOOOOOOOO!

*door opens* *army of angry banannas walk through*

Bannana: Is this were...Peter M. Pettigrew is?

Sirius: Yeah! He's over...

Bannana: GET HIM!

*Bannanas attack Peter*

Peter: AAAHHHHH! GET THEM OFF OF ME!

Lily: REMUS! HOWL!

Remus: WHAT? BANNANAS ARE SCARED OF WOLVES TOO?

Lily: NO! BUT IT WILL CATCH THEM OFF GAURD AND THEN I CAN TELEPORT THEM AWAY!

Remus: Again, WHY ME? *sighs* *Howls*

Bannanas: Wait, what was that...

Lily: Teleportus!

*Bannanas dissapear*

Peter: T-Thanks...

Lily: Don't mention it.

James: Next question please!

_**James: How did you learn to move your hips like that when hula dancing?**_

_**Black: Oh, there aren't are there? Would you still do it if there is one? Please say this Ah Key Oh Troll.**_

_**Remus: Geez, I keep subjecting you to horror. Do you hate me? (please say no because I actually like you)**_

_**Peter: NO! I WON'T DANCE WITH YOU! Though the slap might have been a bit much. Why don't you just dance with Lily?**_

_**Lily: I knew you'd find that loophole! Do you think you can bring Emmeline Vance to answer questions? I know she's in Gryffindor. But I think she hates Sirius more than I do (and that's saying a lot)**_

_**James + Sirius + Peter: Lily and Remus please don't help them with this. Here's a little Thanksgiving trivia: Where was the first Thanksgiving? The muggle one?**_

_**From: Jacky Dupree**_

James: It takes skill, and considering that I was hexing Malfoy while doing so, you have to admit, it was pretty epic!

Lily: Yes James, because Hula dancing is soooooo epic. *rolls eyes*

Remus: Of course I don't hate you! I don't mind, really. Considering that I spend all day with these morons, not you Lily, it will take a lot more to anger me.

Peter: I asked, but James hexed me when I asked.

Sirius: A key...

Remus: STOP!

Sirius: What?

Remus: She is trying to get you to teleport a troll here!

Sirius: Oh... never mind then!

Lily: Emmeline...Oh...well, I could, but I think she would hex Sirius into oblivion, so no. Sorry.

James: The first muggle Thanksgiving...didn't it happen in America?

Sirius: Yeah...north america...but...hm...something...about a rock...

Peter: Oh yeah! Something about a rock with a mouth...

Remus:Not even close...but its fine.

Lily: Well, thats all the time we have today! Thanks for reading, and please send in more questions!


	21. Chapter 21

Welcome to another Ask the Marauders! Remus still has 8 votes, Sirius 4, Lily 2, and James and Peter still only have one vote each.

James: NOOOOO! Nobody likes me!

Lily: You know, it doesn't really matter how many fans you have. You still have us!

James: Yeah, but I want people that I actually CARE about!

Lily: JAMES!

James: Joking! Just joking! Geez, after being my girlfriend for a year and a half you think that you would get SOME sense of humor...

Remus: FIRST QUESTION!...oh...it has a box chocolate attached to it!

_**Sirius: She can't wait! Thanks! She's a Ravenclaw, and a bit... hyper. And if you hurt her in any way, she'll severely injure you... just a warning.**_

_**James: You don't just have 'amazingly epic' hair, you're modest too! No offense... I hope you see the sarcasm in that. I don't have too much faith in you... My friend's older brother works at Zonko's and has insider's access to it's product's. I could send you some, if you need it!**_

_**Remus: Here you go! Lots and lots of it! Hope it's good! Oh.. have you met Padfoot's cousin Nymphadora yet? I ran into her in Hogsmeade, she was babbling on about wanting to meet 'Siri's' friends.**_

_**Lily: Title and author of the book, please. Thank you in advance. And if you counter any more of my creatures, I won't forgive you.**_

_**Peter: The first years will never beat my large collection of charmed fruits and maracas. That's right, maracas. The instrument.**_

_**~Blue the Amazingly Clumsy Gryffindor**_

Remus: Nymphadora...wait, isn't she, like, three? How could she be at Hogsmeade? Oh, and thanks Blue for the chocolate! *eats chocolate*

Sirius: No! Nymphadora is a first year Hufflepuff. The one I was talking about was Nympidora.

Remus: Does any of your family members have any NORMAL names? *continues to eat chocolate* and no, I haven't met...

*doors open* *Nymphadora Tonks walks in*

Tonks: Siri!You forgot your...oh. Sorry, am I intruding?

Sirius: Just a tad. But it doesn't matter. Thanks. *takes books from Tonks*

Tonks: Siri, you havn't introduced me to your friends yet!

Sirius: Oh yeah...well, James, you have met Tonks, Peter, Tonks, Lily, Tonks, and Remus, Tonks.

Tonks: *stares at Remus* Oh...uh...right...Well, I...gotta go. See you later Sirius. Bye guys...

*Tonks leaves*

Remus: *stares at doors* THATS your cousin?

Sirius: Yeah. What's wrong?

Remus: She's...nevermind. Just...answer your question James.

James: Free Zonko products? YEAH! Send them right away! Like you did with Moonys chocolate...

Remus: MY CHOCOLATE! *eats chocolate*

Lily: Um... the book that I found it in was _Fantastic Creatures and Where to Find Them_ By J.L Kettleburn.

Peter:W-Wait, you are going to send maracas to attack me?

*knock on door*

Sirius: I...

Peter: NO! *tackles Sirius* DON'T YOU DARE OPEN THAT DOOR.

James: I will!

Peter: NO!

*Door opens* *magic fruit and evil maracas fly in*

Maraca: PETER M. PETTIGREW?

Peter: Y-Yes?

*Maracas and fruit attack Peter*

Remus: *Howls*

Lily: WHY DID YOU DO THAT?

Remus: Well, that always worked! In trouble? HOWL! In danger? HOWL! Your friend is getting mauled by evil Maracas? HOWL!

Lily: WELL, IF YOU PUT IT LIKE THAT...

Peter: HEEEEEEELLLLLPPPP!

James: I KNOW WHAT TO DO! *grabs two maracas*

Sirius: GOOD THINKING! *grabs two more maracas*

Lily: What are you morons DOING?

James: Trust us! Ok Padfoot! One...two...a one, two three four!

James and Sirius: Hala hala hala hoo! *shakes maracas* Hala hala hala doo! *shakes maracas*

Lily: What...are you doing?

James: What does it look like? We are singing and playing the maracas! *shakes the maracas*

Maraca: AAAHHHHH! LET GO OF ME! YOUR SINGINGS BAD ENOUGH, BUT I AM GETTING A REAL HEADACHE HERE! LET ME GO!

Sirius: Only if you PROMISE you will not hurt Peter!

Maraca: WHATEVER! JUST LET US GOOOOOOO!

Sirius: *throws Maraca out door*

James: *throws maracas out door*

Peter: T-Thanks...

James and Sirius: Don't mention it.

Remus: Ok...next question!

_**Let me just say, that you guys...ARE MEH HEROES! I mean, let me videotape you guys turning Snape's hair pink and I'll kiss you guys!(excluding Lily) Okay...questions thingys..**_

_**Lily-Did you used to like Snape? I'm just asking, James DO NOT attack Snivellius. I know it's hard not to, but GODS DON'T YOU DARE.**_

_**Sirius-How would you react if you were accused of murdering Peter(obliterating him into nothing but a finger) and betraying James and Lily then sent to Azkaban?*raises eyebrows*Cuz if you make that expression, I want a picture..**_

_**James-How would you feel if your future child was shunned because he was a parseltouge? Please tell me you would atempt to beat the people up.**_

_**Remus-I have a offer. Want to prove you're the most chocolate-obsessed person? Meet me in the Great Hall with a lot of that Wonka Chocolate. We're gonna see who can scoff down the most chocolate.**_

_**Peter-I like ya Peter. Just...don't do anything that would get any of your best friends killed, got it?*growls and pokes really hard***_

_**Your fellow Gryffindor, Erin(NinjaLeafKitty)**_

Lily: Well, before the whole 'mudblood' incident, yes. I did like him. After a while though, he started to dable in the dark arts, and he wasn't the same.

Sirius: Ha! If I was accused of killing ANYBODY, least of all my BEST FRIENDS, they would stick up for me. I know they would. Nobody would belive that I would stoop as low as a Death Eater.

James: One, What is parsletounge?

Remus: It's the ability to talk to snakes. It is quite rare, but Salazar Slytherin was renound for his ablility to talk to snakes.

James: Ok, pretending like I understood a word of that, I would hex those little bugger brains until they couldn't talk anymore! NOBODY bullies the son of the greatest wizard in the WORLD!

Lily: oh, Merlin's son is at Hogwarts?

James: NO! MY son!

Lily: Oh.

Remus: Hm...a chocolate eating competition...sure. How about next staturday at nightfall.

Lily: Wait...isn't that the fu..

Remus: SHUSH!

Peter: I will NEVER kill my friends! Anyway, next question!

_**Remus: Thanks! What's your patronus?**_

**_James: Who do you think will win the next match?_ Gryffindor or** _**Ravenclaw? (really you guys don't stand a chance this year)**_

_**Lily: What's it like being a redhead? i'm thinking of dying my hair red.**_

_**Peter: *sigh* I'm sorry about slapping you.**_

_**Sirius: Since you did not play patty cake with a troll you have to say you love Mrs. Norris. Or... I will burn all ofyour conditioners. Go it?**_

_**From: Jacky Dupree**_

Sirius: NO! NOT MY BABIES! NOT MY PRECIOUS CONDITIONERS!

Remus: *scoots away from Sirius* Uh...my patronus is either a dog or a wolf...they look alike, so I can't really tell which.

Lily: I am almost certian it is a wolf...it's a lot bigger then Sirius', which is a dog.

Remus: ok then, wolf.

James: PSH! Who will win the next match? Gryffindor, OBVIOUSLY! We have gone undefeated sense the start of the school year!

Lily: Yeah, but you have only had, like, three games.

James: SO? We are still undefeated!

Lily: Whatever...anyway, back to the question. I like my hair, if that's what you are wondering. I think red is a good hair color.

Peter: Wait...the person that slapped me...was YOU! YOUR Jacky? Whoa...

Lily: Hey, I think thats all the time we have today! Please tune in next time for another Ask the Marauders! Bye!

**PS. I have no idea where I got the idea to have James and Sirius dance with Maracas, or were the idea to have Tonks only SIX YEARS behind Remus instead of the normal 13 years. Oh, and I am fully aware that Trelwrany is NOT at Hogwarts. at all. I just had to go along with the questions abit. Oh, and once normal school starts on monday, don't expect alot of updates. Maybe one every other day.**


	22. Chapter 22

**Welcome to yet another Ask the Marauders! The current standings have Remus still in the lead by 8, Sirius is behind by 4, Lily and James are tied with two, and Peter only has one vote.**

James: YES! I AM JUST AS POPULAR AS LILY!

Lily: Good for you James! Now can you PLEASE stop whining about not being important?

James: Sure.

Remus: Ok, first question!

Hello, Mauraders and Lily

_**Lily and James- What would u think if u had a son and he was the only one who could defeat Voldemort but it put him in constant danger?**_

_**James- U should consider being kinder to severus u know "cough cough" in the chance he is a professor one day and DESPISES YOUR CHILD BECAUSE OF YOU.**_

_**Lily- How much does it hurt to have your sister hate you? Did u ever have a crush on any1 besides James?**_

_**Sirius- You told me in a previous question that you are looking for the right girl, but being a total player will only attract sluts so that probably isn't the way to u should know that Jacob Black not only has a fanbase, he has a team, Team Jacob. How does that make u feel?**_

_**Remus- Would u rather be a werwolf and marry who u want or be normal but have to marry "gasp" Jenny? No opting out. U have to pick one.**_

_**Peter- Peter Peter Peter... I heard your little convo in the Forbidden Forrest with some Slytherins. Yeah u know what I'm talking about. Anyways I have it recorded on my Wizcorder and if u want it kept secret I recommend u do what I say. Get up in the middle of transfiguration, sing a self written love song to Mcgonagall, then run up and kiss her before she knows what is up.**_

_**Ps) hope u enjoy the pack of mutant part unicorn part werwolf part goblin part giant part bananas I sent against u. They r fearless and resistant to magic**_

_**Well Mauraders and Lily I guess this is goodbye until next time but one final thing. James u only lack votes because girls know ur taken**_

_**From: Zebragirl5**_

Peter: AWWW, COME ON! UNIWOLFINANAS?

Remus: Wait, what?

Peter: Uniwolfenanas. UNI-WOLF-IN-NANAS. UNIcorn, wereWOLF, goblIN, baNANAS.

Remus: Oh...

*knock on door*

Remus: NOBODY ANSWER THAT! IT COULD BE THE UNIWOLFINANAS!

*knock on door* *knock on door* *POUND ON DOOR* POUND ON DOOR* *CRASH!*

Remus: AAHHHH!

Peter: *SQUEEEEEEL!*

James: GAAAAAHHHH!

Sirius: EEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKK!

Lily: WHAAAAAA!

*army of uniwolfinanas walk in*

Uniwolfinana:Sorry about that...didn't mean to bust down the door...anyway, is this where...

Sirius: PETERS OVER THERE! NOW LEAVE US ALOOOOOONE!

Uniwolfinana: ALL RIGHT GUYS, GET HIM! AAAAAAAAND, CHAAAAAARRRRGE!

Remus: WAIT! *blocks Uniwolfinanas*

Uniwolfinana: Oh, what now?

Remus: You are part werewolf, right?

Uniwolfinana: Duh.

Remus: Well, I am too. And this is my territory, and Peter is a member of my pack. I command you to leave right now.

Uniwolfinana: And why should we?

Remus: *glares*

Uniwolfinana:...fine. Come on guys, we have to go.

*Uniwolfinanas walk out*

Peter: D-Dude! Thats like, the third time you have saved me!

Remus: *shrugs* Meh. No big deal. And I would...rather...lets see...date a psycho..or be a werewolf...psycho... werewolf...psycho...um... hm...I have no idea. I guess...I would rather stay a werewolf...

James: If my son was the only person who could defeat Voldemort, that would just PROVE that he is the son of the greatest wizard ever!

Lily: I'm not even going to say anything...

Sirius: That Jacob guy? He has a TEAM? Psh. So what? I have an ARMY! RIGHT ARMY?

Army Padfoot: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

James: What in the name of merlin...

Remus: Wow...

Lily: How did you get an ARMY?

Sirius: *shrugs* Lots of fans.

Peter: *pales* You...um...fine. I will. Just...don't play the tape. I will next tuesday.

Lily: Um...what are you talking about?

Peter: Nothing. Just...nevermind. next question.

_**Sirius and James: Really? Dancing? How do you know exactly what my weaknesses are? James, the products might take some time, considering I have to bribe my friend. Win the Quidditch match for us! She's gullible, so maybe 3 days? Sirius, if ever you need to kill someone, call ME before you go after them and get yourself thrown in Azkaban for twelve years, escape, and then get yourself killed by a curtain, alright?**_

_**Remus; Aww... Does some one have a little crush on a first year? Your welcome for the chocolate.**_

_**Lily: J.L. Kettleburn... Hmmm... Good author... I'll spare his life, just destroy the book.**_

_**Peter: I have so many more weapons, the next one is an army of... BUBBLEGUM! And don't even think about chewing it if you want to keep your mouth working.**_

_**~Blue the Amazingly Clumsy Gryffindor**_

Peter: BUBBLEGUM? HONESTLY?

Sirius: Wait...I think I found them...I kinda gave them to the first years...

Lily: YOU WHAT?

Sirius: They wanted gum! I found some, and I gave it to them! I didn't know it was dangerous!

Remus: Well, at least Peter is safe for now. Anyway, I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON HER. I only met her for like... a couple seconds...a couple...wonderful...second...

Sirius: Earth to Moony! Hello?

Remus: What? Oh, sorry. Anyway, I don't have a crush on her.

Lily: Destroy the book? No! I payed three galleons for it! I have had it for five years. I am not destroying it.

Remus: Short question...ok, NEXT question!

_**Hello. I have something to ask you.**_

_**Lily and James: What will you say if your son marry in to a pureblood family?**_

_**Sirius: Would you enchantes a motorbike and fly it to the willow in the beginning of the school year?**_

_**Remus: Lets say that there is a girl(Maybe her first name is Nymphadora and maybe her last name is Tonks) who was in madly love with you, that even her patronus chance to a werewolf. What will you said to her? Isn't that true love, that nothing can chance?**_

_**Peter: I have nothing to say to you.**_

_**From:Annamarianordel**_

James: If my son was married into a pureblood family? *shrugs* That would be ok I guess. I don't think it would make much of a difference.

Lily: As long as he is happy, thats all the matters.

Sirius: Well, unless the family is really into Pureblood mania and whatnot.

James: True...

Remus: *sigh* Ok, so you guys are telling me that girl that was in here a while ago is my future wife? I will end up marrying Sirius' cousins daughter?

James: Looks like it.

Sirius: HA! Moony, you will be my cousins son-in-law, making you my...um...

Lily: I think that would make him your third cousin.

Sirius: So he will be related to me, somewhat?

Remus: I guess I will...thats a scary thought.

Sirius: I would be offended, but even I have to admit my family isn't the best. Anyway, I already have my bike! Like I said before, it is AMAZING!

Peter: Ok then, I don't have to answer a question. Fine. Next question.

_**Dear my favourite uber sexy and funny marauders, & Lily,**_

_**I have a few questions for you,**_

_**James:Jimmy boy,what is your most prized possession and why? Also if you lost it how upset would you be?**_

_**Love ya loadsx(Though not too much or Lily will hex me).**_

James: Probobly my broom. I would be VERY upset, if I lost it, because if I did lose it, I wouldn't be able to play Quidditch! Oh, and it is also good in case we loose Moony in the forest and we have to look for him.

Remus: That happened ONE TIME!__

_**Sirius: Siri, how many hair products to you use daily?(note this includes bad hair days as well). Also can you help me get my hair that awesome? Have you ever thought about being a hair stylist? Cause you'd be AH-MAZING at ya loadsx**_

Sirius: A day? Let's see...I put my volumizer and conditioner in my hair in the morning...around lunch I put in more conditioner...during Charms I usually put in a little gel...and before supper I put in MORE conditioner! I wash it all out before bed, though. Last time I forgot to take a shower, my pillow was stuck to my head.

Peter: Talk about a bedhead...

_**Remus: Remmy,as you like I are a chocolate lover, you may be intrigued buy this information I have found. If you go to the fifth floor and go to the tapestry of the unicorns prodding people with their horns, and turn around on your heels 3 times the wall opens and inside the is a swimming pool. And oh no not just ANY swimming pool, a swimming pool filled with CHOCOLATE! Also is that your natural hair colour Love ya loadsx**_

Remus: Ohhh! A chocolate filled swimming pool! SWEET! Oh, and yeah this is my natural hair color. Once, I accidentally put a spell on it, and it made it blue.

Lily: You looked good in blue hair...

_**Peter: So Petey have you ever thought about being a photographer? Just think about it, you could be a good photographer. Love ya loadsx**_

__Peter: A photographer? Hm...thats actually a good idea! Hm...

_**Last but not least Lily...!**_

_**Hey Lils, so if you ever had to choose between Severus (grr.. snivelly-pants), or James who would you pick and why?**_

__Lily: James. No questions about it!

James: Same here! I wouldn't choose anybody but Lily!

Lily: Awww!

Sirius: *gag*__

_**Also Marauders do you know any good secret passageways into Hogsmeade, I'm banned for a month and need to sneak in :)**_

_**From,WaterLily,**_  
><em><strong>A peed of Gryffindor because McGonagall gave her detention for strapping fireworks to Mrs Norris,and has banned her from Hogsmeade for a month<strong>_

Sirius: Oh yeah! I saw that firework show! It was brilliant! Of course we will help a fellow trouble maker! James, bring out...DA MAP!

James: *takes out map*

Remus: lets's see...there is that one under the tapestry...

Peter: Isn't that blocked off?

Sirius: Oh yeah...well, what about...oh wait. That's the way to the Shack...

James: The only avaliable one is under the one eyed humbacked witch statue on the third floor corridor. Just tap it and say 'Dissendum'.

Remus: Well, thats all the time we have today! Please check back in next time!


	23. Chapter 23

**Welcome to another Ask the Marauders! So far, Remus is STILL ahead with 8, Sirius still has 4, Lily and James are still tied with 2, and Peter has 1 vote**.

Sirius: Look at all of these questions...

Lily: I guess...we have to answer ALL of them today. Not just three...

James: Well, if we are, we better start soon.

Remus: Agreed. Ok, first question.

_**Peter: What did you mean by 'whoa'? And answer very carefully.**_

_**James and Lily: Who kissed who first?**_

_**Remus: Do you like chocolates with nuts? My cousin sent me two boxes but I'm allergic to nuts. Would you want them?**_

_**Sirius: I feel really bad about always torturing you so to make up for it I'm sending you a new bottle of shampoo. I always use it on my dog so it should work for you. *smiles evilly* By the way do you like the color turqoiuse? Well there's no reason I'm asking but if you hate it... :D**_

_**-The Ravenclaw who is going to whoop Gryffindor's ass in the next match, Jacky Dupree**_

James: You beat us? PLEASE! We are so going to win! Anyway, peter answer your question.

Peter: I ment 'whoa' because I didn't think you looked like that. I imagned you differently.

Sirius: YAY! NEW SHAMPOO!...Wait...DOG shampoo? Oh ha ha. Real funny. I am still using it. Hey, what time is it?

Remus: It's uh...ten to three.

Sirius: Perfect! I am going to shampoo my hair now! *Goes into bathroom*

James: Five...four...three...two...one..and...

*SCREAM*

Sirius: MY HAIR! *rushes out of bathroom* LOOK AT MY HAIR! IT'S BLUE!

Remus: Actually, its turqouise.

Sirius: Whatever! Just change get rid of it!

Remus: *snickers* If you say so... *casts spell on Sirius*

Sirius: Does it look better?

James:...

Peter: O_o

Lily: HA! Yeah! It looks fine!

James: *hands Sirius a mirror*

Sirius: *SCREAM* I'M BALD!

Remus: Yeah. You said you wanted to get rid of it. *snickers*

Sirius: I DIDN'T MEAN ALL MY HAIR! I JUST MENT TO CHANGE MY HAIR BACK!

Remus: You should be clearer next time. Anyway, I forgot the spell to change your hair back, so after this is done, I will run up to our room and get my book, ok?

Sirius: FINE...

James: Huh...anyway, um...I think I kissed her first. Yeah, I kissed her first.

Remus: Sure. I would like some chocolate. Ok, next question.

_**Hello, Mauraders and Lily. First of all I need to yell at Remus for defending Peter from the pack of mutants I sent after him. Oh and they are coming back just the same except without the werwolf and they only obey me and do not get swayed from attacking.**_

_**Peter -that is your punishment for talking to the Slytherins. So, unfortunately I was in the Hospital Wing when u had to sing to Mcgonagoll, how did it go? ( yeah Remus, just cause I went to the pool of chocolate too didn't mean you had to go crazy on me:(, I was in the Hospital Wing for A WEEK, u owe me)**_

_**Remus: Like I said, u owe me. Anyways, Why do u get so violent about CHOCOLATE, u would have killed me if the other Marauders hadn't showed up and saved me. (thanks by the way)**_

_**James- How is Quidditch, I am like the best seeker ever but every year I get injured right before try outs and can't try out. :( it is a curse. I love watching u guys play Quidditch even if the seeker is incompetent and slow, and I find the snitch way before him.**_

_**Sirius- Thank u for distracting Remus with chocolate while James got me to the hospital, that Assam ingenious idea. So, What other people has Remus hurt due to chocolate?**_

_**Lily- Hi, Did u ever crush on anyone b4 James.**_

_**Hey Mauraders, if someone were to somehow make the room flip upside down while everyone is eating at Hogwarts, would that be a good prank? ( even ifs not I'll probably do it anyways)**_

_**Bye from your Favorite nonmaurader other than Lily, ( I know it's true, and a zebra animigus, ( yeah I'm the zebra u have seen b4)**_

Lily: Wait, WHAT? What happened at the chocolate pool?

Remus: Uh...heheh...yeah...um...long story...

James: I can make it short. Zebra was already at the chocolate pool before Moony, and he kinda went a little balistic.

Sirius: A LITTE? He sent her to the hospital wing!

Remus: Well, I thought that she was going to take all the chocolate...

Peter: DUDE. THERE WAS LIKE A TON IN THERE. Even YOU only ate half of it.

Sirius: Yeah! There was chocolate EVERYWHERE! Oh, and Moony hasn't hurt anybody because of chocolate! Well, besides you, Peter, me, James, and McGonnagle that one time...

Lily: McGonagle?

Remus: Long story...

James: Hm...I like that idea to turn the Great Hall upside down! Brilliant! We will do it...during the Christmas Feast!

Remus: Wait...this christmas... what day does it fall on?

Peter: Sunday the twenty fith.

Remus: Great...the full moon falls on Chistmas Eve. I will miss the feast...

James: Maybe not...

Remus: What?

James: I could always use my two way mirror...you could see what happens when we turn the great hall upside down!

Remus:...hm...good idea...anyway, Lily, your turn.

Lily: Um...yeah. Well, like LOVE, no. Not really, but I have had other boyfriends. Ok, next question.

_**Remus: Admit it. Please. For the fans. Chocolate is the best thing ever! And even YOU can't stop the Nargles.**_

_**Peter: I can turn ANYTHING into a weapon. And now, I have an army of NARGLES. Yeah, take that, Pettigrew. Also, I have a certain conversation between you and the Slytherins written down, and it might just... be posted on the board in the Common Room. I won't if you admit that I'm awesome and to the fact that you're the one who stole my chocolate last year.**_

_**James: The rumors are true... We Divination freaks will all say that you will marry Lily, then have a kid who'll destroy Voldy-Shorts. Please win the Quidditch match, I beg you. THE SNAKES SHALL PAY! Which Zonko's products do you want?**_

_**Lily: I didn't mean YOUR copy. I just meant all the others around the world. Sorry for the confusion. And if you had to choose between books and James, which would you pick?**_

_**Sirius: I hope Leanne wasn't too bad. What would you say if I told you you were killed by a curtain?**_

_**~Blue the Amazingly Clumsy and Sadistic Gryffindor**_

Remus: Nargles...? What are...

Sirius: Wasn't Xenougphiealfahs...um...Lovegood going on about them?

Remus: Oh yeah...well, they don't exist, so I'm not worried about of COURSE Chocolate is the best thing ever! I mean...

*knock on door*

Sirius: I'LL GET IT!

*door opens, wierd little green fairy things float in.*

Nargle: Is this were Peter is?

Remus: Uh...yeah, he's over...

Nargle: get him!

*nargles attack Peter*

Peter: Whoa...I'm getting dizzy...whats going on...wah...

Remus: Well...I guess I can't stop it! *takes out chocolate and eats it*

Nargle: WAIT! Is that...chocolate?

Remus: um...yeah.

Nargle: We will do ANYTHING to get that peice of chocolate!

Remus: Really? Well, leave my friend alone, and I will give you TWO bars of chocolate!

Nargle: DEAL! *takes chocolate* *leaves*

Peter: Ok, thats like the FOURTH time you saved me.

Remus: well, I wan't planing on it...

Peter: You still saved me. Oh, and I didn't take your chocolate. Promise. I don't know who did, but it wasn't me.

Remus: For once, it wasn't me eaither. Anyway James, your turn.

James: Let's see...We need Fanged Frisbees, more Dungbombs, um...some Fillibuster Fireworks would be nice...and some Singing Solution.

Lily: Why would you need Singing Solution?

James: We are going to put some in Malfoys dinner, and when you drink Singing Solution, you sing for a whole hour.

Sirius: Yeah...we tried it on Moony once.

Remus: Yeah... that was not fun. Suffice to say, I don't have the best singing voice.

Lily: Ok then...um...I would choose...James.

James: Aww!

Sirius: *gag*

Lily: Sirius, just because you have the emotional range of an apple doesn't mean we all do.

Sirius: Hey! I do not...anyway, if I was killed by a curtian, well, that would just be sad. ANYWAY, NEXT QUESTION!

_**James and Lily: If your future child Harry cough cough flew a car to school unsupervised with his best friend rather then taking the train and ended up crashing it into the whomping willow how would you react?**_

_**Sirius: Could you tell me what you are looking for in a girl? You know since you said that you are looking for the right girl I might be able to set you up with somebody.**_

_**Remus: How would you react if I told you that Jenny has been breaking into Griffindor tower sneaking into your dorms, watchs you sleep for a while and then at around four o'clock in the morning cuts off some of your hair and finger nails sneaks back to the Ravenclaw dorms adds it to her collection, then plots the assaination of your soul mate Nympthadora? Just so you know it is not hypothetical it is really happening.**_

_**Peter: Are you alright? You know with all those gangs of Unicorns, bananas and stuff coming to hurt** _you

_**From:Attempting2write**_

Peter: Oh yeah! I'm just PEACHY! It's just GREAT to be attacked by wierd creatures every day! I might have broken a few bones, and got some scars, but i'm just FINE!

Sirius: I sense a little sacasme there...

Lily: Ya think? Anyway, if my son flew into the whomping willow, that would just prove James is his dad. But I would be worried about him! I would worry if he's hurt, if he needs help, and I would be mad at him because he flew a car into a tree, but I would just want him to be safe.

Remus:...Jennys actually doing that?...I wondered why part of my hair grew faster then the other... and I haven't needed to clip my fingernails in a while...and if Jenny IS plotting the assasination of Tonks, then Tonks is in real danger!

Sirius: What am I looking for in a girl? Well, she needs to have a sense of humor, she needs to be nice, and it would be better if she was cute. Anyway, NEXT QUESTION!

_**dear mischeif makers and miss Evans.**_

_**lily what is your favourite place in hogwarts, other than next to james?**_

_**remus, we all have our little problems. 'fanged smile' what is your oppinion on current brewing of the potion for lycanthorpy. taste? improvements?**_

_**james, if you where faced with a boggart what form would it asume?**_

_**and peter, you have been invited to lunch to discuss a job offer that will require you skills. will you accept?details provided by owl.**_

Lily: Hm...I like the view from the Black Lake. It's quite beautiful at sunset!

Remus: Potion...oh. If you mean that Wolfsbane, I haven't tried it. People are just coming up with the ideas on making it, and it's not quite stable. I was offered to test it, but I declined. Those people at the ministry are horrid to us. They could care less if the potion didn't work, and killed them. It would just be one less wolf running around. The only reason they are even TRYING it is because they want to keep us undercontrol.

James: Wow...sounds rough...anyway, my boggart...would be...all of my friends and family dead.

Peter: Um...I don't know what job you are talking about, so I say no.

Remus: next question.

_**Dear everybody.**_

_**James: Who was the female Peverell, who got marry in to your family?**_

_**Lily: Do you like the Weasley and the Prewett families?**_

_**Remus: You didn't answer me, when I ask what you will say to the girl last time I wrote.(by the way. I'm a huge fan of yours. You are the best werewolf of the world)**_

_**Sirius: You didn't either answer me if you want to fly the motorbik into the willow.**_

_**Peter: I now have something to tell you. MEMENTO MORI, your roliart tar**_

_**Bye**_

Remus: Ha! You actually called him that? Ha!

Peter: Um..what does it mean?

Remus: Trust me, you don't wanna know. Oh, and I would say that...I would probobly just keep pulling the werewolf card. Then...I don't know...I guess if she still loved me...I would say ok, and I would go out with her. Ok Sirius, answer your question.

Sirius: Of course I wouldn't want to fly my bike into the willow! Gosh! That could kill me! Or worse, scratch the bike!

Remus: Yeah, because you have your prorities straight!

Sirius: I do!

James: Guys! Stop fighting! Anyway, um...that's a good question...I know the name Peverell rings a bell...but I forgot who it was...hm...I will need to ask my parents.

Lily: Weasly...I know Aurthur Weasly, but Prewett...nope. I don't know anybody with that last name. Ok, do we have another question?

Sirius: Nope. That's the last one. FINIALLY! Ok Moony. Give me back my hair!

Remus: Oh...right. It's a shame. You look better bald.

Sirius: No I don't! Just give me back my hair!

Remus: Fine. *casts spell on Sirius*

Sirius: Wait...you knew the spell all this time?

Remus: So I did!

Sirius: WHY I OUGHTA...

Remus: Please come back next time for another chapter! BYE!


	24. Chapter 24

Welcome to another Ask the Marauders!

Remus: Let's get to it! Lily, first question PLEASE!

Lily: Your in a good mood!

Remus: Yeah, well...I just got an extra supply of chocolate!

James: Dude, your teeth are going to fall out before christmas.

Remus: Whatever...first question!

_**Remus: Merlin, you're starting to get on my nerves. Whatever, I still like you. Do you like bubblegum pink? Just wondering... And everyone knows you can't sing.**_

_**Sirius: What's up? Regulus... He's sort of... crushing on a Hufflepuff friend of mine. Please, if it is in your ability, stop him.**_

_**James: Here are the products! I sent a couple of the Singing Solutions. Use them all on Slytherins, mainly the Quidditch Players... I really want us to win the Cup this year.**_

_**Peter: Xeno and I are good friends, he's letting me borrow his creatures... If a purple, horned, creature attacks you in the middle of the night, don't be suprised. They are called Crumple-Horned Snorkacks.**_

_**Lily: Aww... You really like James, don't you? Random question, what's your favorite color?**_

_**~Blue the Amazingly Clumsy and Sadistic Gryffindor**_

James: YAY! Zonko products! Thanks! And I will DEFFINETLY use the singing solution on the Quidditch players!

Remus: As long as you don't slip it in my tea, I will not tell the teachers.

Sirius: Thanks! Although, no promises on the tea...anyway, I know Regulus is crushing on a Hufflepuff. He really likes her, too. Sorry, but I would rather have him going out with a nice hufflepuff then an evil Slytherin.

Peter: Um...crumpled-horned...snork cakes?

Remus: SnorkACKS. Not cakes.

Sirius: Well, eaither way, they bring PAIN!

Lily: Uh huh...anyway, my favorite color is purple.

Remus: Bubble gum...pink...like the color? Well, I don't really like pink, so I don't much care for it...

Sirius: My favorite colors red!

James: Mines green!

Remus: And mines blue. Next question.

_**Awesomest people to ever awesome!**_

_**How you doin'?**_

_**Remus:Ooooohh!Someone has a crush!Moony and Tonks under a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G!Okay I'll stop now! So have you ever met Walburga,that lovely and pleasant woman who screamed in my poor ears for almost an hour because she found out about the dare I had?(not gonna elaborate but it involved ickle Regulus)**_

_**Sirius:What is the worst thing you ever done to infuriate said lovely and pleasant mother?**_

_**James:Have you ever stalked Lily in your stag form?**_

_**Peter:Have you ever got a real girlfriend?(besides Moaning Myrtle)**_

_**Lots of Butterbeers(and the Zonkos and Honeydukes Finest unmelting chocolate attached to this note)**_

_**Lifedrops, the Gryfficlaw who suffers a severe headache from Walburga's yelling because she seduced Regulus in a broom closet and then stole his clothes(oops shouldn't have said that one, damned Quick-Notes Quill!)**_

_**From: Lifedrops**_

Sirius: YOU WHAT?

Lily: Here we go...

Sirius: WHAT did you do to my brother?

Remus: Sirius...

Sirius: IF YOU THINK MY MOM'S YELLING IS BAD, WAIT TILL YOU GET A HOLD OF ME!

James: Padfoot, it was bound to happen SOMETIME...

Sirius: STILL! JUST...Ugg!

Remus: Sirius...there is still the question you need to answer...

Sirius: FINE. The worst thing I did was to get into Gryffindor. Other then that? Become friends with a werewolf, muggle-born, and two people who might as well be blood traitors.

James: Hehehe...funny you should mention me stalking Lil's as Prongs...

Lily: JAMES. WHAT. DID. YOU. DO.

James: Nothing! Just...well...remember when I said that my most embarrasing moment was when I got cought in a bush in stag form?

Peter: No! I forgot!

James: Ok, for Peter's sake, I was out in my stag form, I got cought in a prickly bush, and it was two whole hours until Hagrid helped me. Well, when he saved me, I guess I was like his little pet. He kept me in his hut for three more hours, and I finially escaped. Well, the reason I was out in stag form was because...I was watching Lily

Lily: You spent five hours at Hagrids hot and stinky hut just so you could see me?

James: Well...yeah.

Lily: That might just be...

James: The stupidest thing I have ever heard?

Lily: No! The sweetest!

James: But...I was stalking you!

Lily: Do you WANT me to be mad?

James: No...

Lily: Ok then. Your turn Peter.

Peter: I have NOT dated Moaning Myrtle! That lie was sick and twisted! We never went out! EVER! Anyway, no. I have never had a girlfriend.

Sirius: poor poor Peter...sixteen and he still hasn't gotten a date...

James: Even 'I'm too dangerous' Moony has had a girlfriend! Sure, it didn't last long, about a month, but he still had one!

Remus: Actually, it was exactly a month...she asked me out the day of the full moon, and I broke up with her on the morning of the full moon. Ironic, huh? Oh, and I DO NOT LIKE TONKS! She's just...well, if she IS my soulmate, I am not complaning.

James: Wait...Butterbeer? I don't see any...

*POOF!* *Butterbeer appears on the table with a note*

James: Hey! I note! Read it!

_**Dear Marauders:**_

_**Sorry I forgot to add these to your letter! Here they are, Butterbeer and unmeltable chocolate. Oh, and Remus, I am sending you another letter filled with just YOUR chocolate. Yeah, it's alot...**_

_**From: Lifedrops**_

*POOF!* *More chocolate appears*

Remus: YAY! *eats chocolate and drinks Butterbeer*

Lily: Thanks Lifedrops! Anyway, next question.

_**Dear Marauders and Lily,**_

_**Remus: oh yeah the full moon on Christmas Eve yeah my friends, Nona, Flora, Will, and Katie are going to the feast so Dumbledore already told me that I will gave to stay in the Sheirking Shack with YOU**_

_**Sirius: I Hate You okay I said it Nona owes me 10 galleons now**_

_**Peter: I hope the army if VAMPIRES hurt you**_

_**James + Lily: How would you feel if someone made a musical on your son and then made a sequel called A Very Potter Musical and A Very Potter Sequel**_

_**~~~ The Super Slytherin**_

_**P.S. The chocolate is for Moony and though I love you I have to say this: (Song)**_

_**Lupin can't sing**_

_**Lupin can't sing**_

_**Lupin cannot sing**_

_**He only reads books**_

_**And he cannot sing**_

_**Even if he's reading a**_

_**How-To-Sing book**_

Remus: HEY! So what if I can't sing? It's not that important...

James: Yeah it is! I am probobly the best singer out of all of us.

Remus: Ok, you are pretty good...but can you play Bass?

Sirius: Psh! Bass? Who plays bass anymore? Electric Guitar is were it's at, and I am the best electric guitar player at Hogwarts!

Peter: I can play drums!

Lily: Uh...I can play the triangle! Oh, and if somebody made a musical about my son...I don't know what I would say...

James: I would be glad that he is famous, but I think he could do better then a musical...how about books, or movies? Heck, his life would be so amazing they would have to make seven books and eight movies!

Remus: Why eight movies?

James: DUH. They would cut the last book in half to make it more dramatic!

Remus:...Huh...thats a good idea. I wonder why more movies don't do that... And I still don't belive you are a werewolf. There is NO WAY. Just...no. Plus, why would Dumbeldore have you in the shreiking shack with me? He knows how territorial werewolves are! I could hurt you...or worse. Oh, and thanks for the chocolate.

Sirius:*pouts* Why are you more popular then me?

Remus: I dunno...maybe you should ask my fans.

Sirius: Whatever... next question.

_**First of allMauraders, u can't flip the Great Hall, I am going to, Did u miss the even if It's stupid I'll probably do it anyways, but I do need help with one part, I need a way to make all the Slytherins fall while everyone else just stays upside-down with the bench(Remus ur the smart one, any Ideas?)**_

_**Peter- Meeting the Slytherins again, u should be ashamed of yourself, why don't u tell your "friends" what u were talking to them about.**_

_**Remus- YOU HAVE OMPA LOOMPAS TO BRING U CHOCOLATE, U WILL NEVER RUN OUT, NO NEED TO MURDER PEOPLE FOR IT, anyways, on to the favor u owe me, figure out how to accomplish the last part of the prank I mentioned above.**_

_**James- If u had to chose between Quiddich and lily which would u chose?**_

_**Sirius- If you had to chose between each following pair which would u chose hair vs hanging with Mauraders, losing your hair vs betraying James, losing your hair vs becoming a deatheater, becoming a deatheater vs never talking to the Mauraders again**_

_**Lily- What do u think of the name Dudley?**_

_**Well bye for now, Remus tell me ASAP because I want to pull the prank before everyone is gone for Christmas.**_

Remus: Oh, thats easy! All you have to do, is to put a consealed sticking charm on the Hufflepuffs, Gryffindors, and Ravenclaws. However, you have to make sure that the sticking charm only works on the benches...and you have to make sure that the sticking charm eventually wears of...and who says I will never run out of chocolate? The Umpa Lumpas might quit one day! What will happen then?

Sirius: The world will be plagued by a chocolate crazed werewolf.

James: Yeah, so ya better hide yo kids, hide yo wife, and hide yo husband cuz hes taken all the chocolate out there.

Lily: Riight...anyway, Dudley? PSH! Please! That names awful! Harry sounds better then that name...

James: Quidditch and Lily? I think I already answered that...I would choose Lily. Ok, peter, Explain the whole 'You are turning evil' thing.

Peter: I-I have no idea what they are talking about! I would never betray my best friends! Ever! *fingers crossed behind back*

James: Good enough! Next question!

_**'Ello Marauders!**_

_**Thank you so much for letting me on the fun, and again I highly apologize to Peter...I was not in my right mind, the chocolate he stole was to be delivered to cancer survovors...including my muggle grandfather.**_

_**Remus: I'll try not to take that as an insult, I may be muggleborn but I'm clearly a witch as you can see. So question...hmmmm...whats better dark chocolate or milk chocolate?**_

_**(I'm not a Puff! I'm a proud Gryffindor thank you very much!)- to no one in particular.**_

_**Peter: I hope you got the llama I sent you, you can use it to fend off attacks from haters...(I hope) evidently it's name is Emperor Kusco and he is a bad mouthed llama if I ever met...well thats beside the point just don't steal me choc. again and we got a truce, aye?**_

_**I didn't explain why I couldn't write ealier then this did I? We'll just say that our dear head of house does not approve of a the new red solo cup flooring in the common room...go ahead and look she still can't get them cleaned up...I.../charmed/ them for good measure, I may be in trouble longer than I originally thouhht... (Ask Lily about red solo cups...if she doesn't know...well get youtube or something and search for the song! )**_

_**Love, Green**_

Peter: Wait...Llama? Oh...yeah. I found him in my room eating my pillow...anyway, thanks. And I won't steal your chocolate again...I promise.

Remus: See? You have your fans...somewhat. Anyway, I will answer my question...dark chocolate. However, if you eat alot of dark chocolate at one time, it get's disgusting. Don't eat alot at one time! Just take small bites.

James: Wait, that was YOU? Ha! Brilliant! Perfect! Minnie was so mad! I was in the crowd when she saw it!

Sirius: Where was I?

James: Putting more conditioner in your hair.

Sirius: Riiight...anyway, is that the last of the questions?

Remus: I think so...please check in next time for another Ask the Marauders!


	25. Chapter 25

Welcome to another ask the marauders!

Remus: Wow...three questions just came in.

Lily: Really? Sweet.

James: Ok, first question.

_**James: Do you think it to be poetic justice that your patronus (and amimingus form) is compatable with Lily's patronus?**_

_**Remus: Do you get annoyed at some of the grammarical errors you've come across during the full process of this Q and A session?**_

_**Peter: Having friends like Remus, Sirius, and James, you must feel like the weakest link of the group. In comparison to you peers' grades, how stupid are you?**_

_**Lily: How do you refrain from either punching Petunia or running away from home? Can I have a comparison of your relationship wuth your sister to Sirius's relationship with Regulus?**_

_**From:Oh-my-dead-wizard-gawd**_

Remus: Do I get annoyed? Somewhat. Sometimes there are really obvious spelling errors, but for words like Quidditch, and Gryffindor, well, I can't really expect Muggles to spell those words. Not because they are dumb, just because they haven't really used those words alot. Ok James. Your turn.

James: Um...wait, what's your patronus Lily?

Lily: Doe.

James: Oh! Yeah, that is kinda wierd...although I wouldn't say poetic justice, just kinda a cool coincidence. Peter?

Peter: Um...Remus, what is your average?

Remus: O.

Lily: Me too.

James: Mine is an E.

Sirius: I have an E, but it's close to O.

Peter: Um...I have an A...so that answeres your question.

Lily: It's ok Pete...Now, with me and Petunia...we were best friends, until my powers came in, that is. I think she was scared of me. I don't know, but ever sense then she hasn't liked me.

Sirius: Almost the same thing here, except that after Regulus left for Slytherin, and he started hanging out with people that might become future death eaters, I have not been talking to him alot. Ok, next question.

_**So marauders: I'm basically going to tell you the deal from my perspective kay? Kay.**_

_**James: you are my favorite marauder, but don't get too cocky (or cockier) or else you'll start to annoy me :) but my question is: have you ever pulled a prank that you actually felt really bad about after?**_

_**Sirius: cut your hair :p and just to let you know, your fangirls aren't the only girls in existence. There are many others who won't automatically love you because your sirius black :) like me. My question: if someone pranked you, by say, shaving your head, how would u react?**_

_**Remus: you rock bro :) and I think that u r pretty awesome for being able to go through those transformations once a month. My question is (I hope u don't take this the wrong way) how much does it hurt? The transformations.**_

_**Peter: ...I have nothing to say to you, so question: how many times have you been rejected by girls?**_  
><em><strong>Lily: ur awesome girl! I think u and james are an amazing couple! But what was your first impression of him?<strong>_

_**From: Lena, the chick who puts the sly in slytherin ;)**_

Lily: I'll go first. Um...my first impression of him was that he was cool, but when he first asked me out, I thought he was an obnoxious bighead.

James: Hey!

Lily: Well, that's what you were like! Anyway, answer your question.

James:Well, actually, the prank that I felt bad about doing has something to do with Padfoots question...

Sirius: Yeah...he shaved my head during the first year. On Hallween. Just hours before the feast. It was awful. I had to wear a turban!

Lily: I think you looked good in a pink turban...

Sirius: Whatever... anyway, answer your question Remus.

Remus: Hm...I am trying to find a good simile... have you ever broken a bone? Well, imagine that pain throughout your whole body, when all of your bones are snaping and rearanging to fit a wolf body. After that, you just kinda go numb, but it still really hurts.

James: Even to watch you transform is painful...

Remus: Yeah, well...transforming INTO the wolf is alot harder then transforming BACK. That's mostly because I am out cold, but it still hurts less. Anyway, next question.

_**Peter: Merlin no need to be sarcastic. I'm sorry for being concerned with your well being if you are attacked in the future I won't concern myself.**_

_**Remus: Please do something about Jenny or at least give Tonks some form of protection. From what information I have gathered the assassination plot involves capturing her, torturing her with the Cruciatus Curse among other things, eventually killing her slowly and painfully. Then she will cut up her body into tiny pieces and hide them throughout the school.**_

_**Sirius: I found a friend you may like she is fifteen, red haired, muggle born (won't your mother love that), really smart and funny. Her name is Michelle but the thing is that she is quite shy and it takes her a while to warm up to people. So if you're interested I would suggest taking it slow but as you get to know her she will open up more. I think you would like her, do you remember four years ago when Gryffindor vs Slytherin first match of the season and all of the Slytherins were painted red and gold? She was behind it she broke into the Slytherin dormitories in the middle of the night and performed a series of spells so they could not remove it until a month later. She got detention for it and for being a smart mouth. Frankly Professor McGonagall doesn't believe that team spirit is a valid reason to behave in that manner.  
>From:Attempting2write<strong>_

Sirius: Really? Hm...maybe. I need to think about it. Oh, and tell her that her prank was BRILLIANT!

Remus: I remember that...it was actually very amusing. Oh, and I will try to at least warn Tonks. NOBODY should have to suffer the wrath of a crazed Jenny. I will talk to her after this...

Sirius: What are you waiting for man? Jenny could be after her NOW! GO GO GO GO!

James: Here, take the Mirror. *hands Remus Mirror*

Remus: Ok, thanks. It's time to save my furture wife!

Lily: Awww!

Sirius: *GAG*

*Remus leaves*

James: *takes out other Mirror* Remus Lupin. *mirror shines* *Remus appears in it*

Remus: Hey. I don't have the map, James. Where is she?

James: Hang on...*takes out map* Dungeon corridor.

Remus: Thanks. Isn't there a shortcut down there?

Sirius: Yeah! By that statue of the old black cat.

Remus: Got it...almost there...Ok, I don't see her..

James: He's by the potions classroom.

Remus: Got it...I see her! Ok, hang on. I will put the mirror in my pocket. *mirror goes black*

Remus: Tonks! Hey! Tonks!

Tonks: Hello! It's Remus, isn't it?

Remus: Yeah. Ok, this may sound wierd, but I have a phycopathic fangirl who want's to kill you.

Tonks:...

Remus: It's true! I just wanted to tell you so you could be...uh...aware?

Tonks: Riiight...uh...I will be on the lookout for...crazed fangirls. See you later Remus.

*Remus appears in Mirror*

Remus: Great! Now she thinks I am crazy!

Sirius: Well, it was bound to happen sometime...

*Remus walks through doors*

Remus: *sigh* Great. Just great. Anyway, next question...

_**Hello.**_

_**Remus: Would you eat a book, if it was turn into Chocolate and would you read chocolate if it was turn into a book?**_

_**Lily: What will you do if you found a child lock in a cupbroad under the stairs in Petunia's house?**_

_**Peter: Sorry it was not Roliart Tar, I should had call you. it was Rotiart Tar. Sorry again.**_

_**James: Have you ever heard about the house of Gaunt?**_

_**Sirius: Have you ever send Dumbledore a howler just to prank**_

_**From:Annamarianordlade**_

Remus:...chocolate the turns into a book and a book that turns into chocolate? Well, it dependes. Is it a good book? Is it good chocolate? These things matter! Anyway, Lily, your up.

Lily: If my sis was hiding a child under her stairs... I would have to call child protective service. Nobody, not even moldyshorts (voldemort) would be that cruel.

Peter: Um...what does Rotiart tar mean?

Remus: Um... lets see... Rotiart...I actually forgot it...

James: The house of Gaunt? Um...nope. Sounds depressing though...

Remus: Actually, Gaunt means the same thing as depressing. It means bleak, desolate, or grim.

Sirius: Thank you captian bookworm...anyway, I hav never sent Dumbledor a howler! That's a good idea...

Remus: We could get expelled!

Sirius: Well, yeah. But like I always say, rules are ment to be broken! We do it tonight!

Remus:*SIGH* Ok, next question.

Hello Marauders and Lily!

_**Sirius it was for a truth or dare game! I had to do it! Anyway it was either  
>him or Snivelly! Of course I chose the good looking one! Plus you owe me! I<br>told your mom that you are really a spy that helps with the D.L's work!(she  
>won't bother you for at least a month! No yelling!)Anyway why so<br>overprotective of your bro? **_

Sirius: YOU TOLD MY MUM WHAT?

Remus: I am sure she thought it was for the best...

Sirius: She thought that lying to my mum and saying that I was a death eater was FOR THE BEST?

Remus:...well if you put it like that...

Sirius: And I am NOT OVERprotective of my brother! It's just that, besides me, he is probobly the most NORMAL of my relatives! Oh, besides Tonks and Andromeda. But honestly, you better owl my mum RIGHT NOW and tell her it was all a joke or something!

_**Remus I saw Nymphadora snogging a Hufflepuff yesterday...Your feelings?**_

Remus: HA! I knew it! She ISN'T my soul mate!

Sirius: Dude, just because she was kissing one other person doesn't mean that ,in the end, she won't be your wife. She might go through three boyfriends before she dates you.

Remus: Still...__

_**James I send you a snitch with your's and Lily's name written on it!Also have**_  
><em><strong>you ever given McGoogles a scratch post for Christmas? I'm thinking to give<strong>_  
><em><strong>her that and I want to know her reactions!<strong>_

James: Oh yeah! I got the snitch during breakfast! Thanks!Oh, and yeah, I did give her a scratching post once. Also, I got her a little remote controle mouse! She didn't like it much though...__

_**Lily what is the most immature thing you've ever done?**_

Lily: The most immature...probobly throwing that fit when I got an E on a test.

Sirius: E's are good! Why were you mad?

Lily: It was during the third year, and I have never gotten less then an O.

_**Peter I have a friend who actually likes you!(what's wrong with the world)I  
>mean likes likes you...Her name is Nora*evil wink*.If you want to ask her out<br>meet her outside the tapestry of the crazy one eyed witch tonight at 11:30!**_

Peter: eleven thirty? Hm...I have nothing going on then, so sure. Why not?__

Lots of chocolate Lollipops with chocolate stuffing(aren't they awesome?)

Lifedrops the Gryfficlaw who Aced Potions and destroyed Cissa's making her  
>face red and gold without obtaining detention!<p>

Sirius: HA! You were the person who did that? I thought that she put on a little more makeup then normal...

James: Wait, aren't you related to her?

Sirius: Yeah. She's my aunt.

Lily: Thanksgiving must be interesting at your house, Huh?

Srius: Well, last time, my mum ended up trapping my brother and some of my cousins in our basement. Anyway, thats all the time we have today! Please check in next time!


	26. Chapter 26

Welcome to another Ask the Marauders!

Lily: Ug...tommorow is regular school...to bad. This Thanksgiving break has been amazing!

James: I know...we might have to do this whole talkshow a little less now...

Remus: Well, we could do this every other day.

Lily: That's a good idea... we will have enough time to do school work, and have time to do this!

Remus: Ok, first question!

_**Remus: Jenny attacked Tonks last night. **_

Remus: SHE WHAT?

Peter: Is she ok?

_**She got away thank Merlin but she is in the hospital wing. Go to her and she is your soul mate, nobody has told her so that's why she dates other people even though she likes you but doesn't do anything about it because she thinks your this cool slightly crazy older guy who think she is an immature little kid that you won't look twice at. She and my little sister asked my advice so it's all true. Oh and don't worry I told her to listen to her heart.**_

Remus: good...she's safe...at least NOW she knows that I am not crazy! And I will see her in the hospital wing tonight.

Sirius: Why tonight? Dude, your SOULMATE is sitting, all alone, in the hospital wing, just WAITING for her knight...er...wolf, in shining armor! Go talk to her!

Remus: Well...I dunno...

Peter: Do it Remus!

Lily: Don't be a Sirius about this. Go talk to her.

Remus:...fine. I will. I'll be back.

James: Take...

Remus: I don't want the mirror. I'll be back...

*leaves*

Sirius: *sniff* They grow up so fast!

Lily: *rolls eyes* Stop being so cliche and read the rest of the question.__

Sirius: Michelle says thank you for complementing the prank. It means a lot and if you want perhaps to meet her down at the kitchens in an hour and sabotage the Slytherin dinner so it blows up in their faces. It's not a date or anything just as friends.

Sirius: Oh...tonight? Um... I think I am free... I don't have any dates till this wednessday...so I will be there.__

Marauders: Have you gotten around to watching the musical's about James and Lily's son? If not please do I what to know what you think about it. And if/when you do watch it keep in mind it is a parody in reality Harry acts more like Lily and not the James clone upon the stage, not to mention the scarf of sexual preference is a extremelly powerful magical object that has been lost for centuries after the great food fight 1578 at least according to Hogwarts a History.

James: We would watch it...but... no electronics work at Hogwarts.

Peter: Really? I thought that the creator of this story is just to lazy to watch it...

Lily: *smacks Peter* Stop breaking the fourth wall! Sirius already broke it twice!

Peter: Sorry...

Sirius: Next question!

Marauders and Lily,  
><em><strong><br>Remus: I know that *rolls eyes* I dont understand either but you always obey the headmaster so I do not know how that will work out don't blame me if you're dead in the morning blame Claw**_

Sirius: I really don't hate you

James: Accually there already are books and movies in the muggle world

Lily: you are awesome

Peter: You SUCK ROYAL HIPPAGRIFF

~~~The SUper SLytherin

_**P.S. I want Remus to meet me, Katie, Flora, and Nona in the Astronomy Tower NOW!**_

Sirius: Remus isn't hear right now, but he should be here in five...four..three...two...aaand...

*door opens* *Remus walks in*

Remus: I'm back!

Lily: And how did it go?

Remus: Well, we just sat there, and talked. Nothing much...ohandItoldherI'mawerewolf. But other then that...

James: Wait wait wait...slow down. What did you say?

Remus: Nothing! Ijusttoldheri'mawerewolf.

Sirius: For merlins sake Remus. Just say it S-L-O-W-L-Y.

Remus: I...TOLD...HER...

James: MOONY! Just tell us!

Remus: *sigh* I...I told her I was a werewolf.

Sirius: You WHAT?

James: Ha! Lily, you owe my three sickles!

Peter: And how did she take it?

Remus: Well, she...she told me that was fine, and we could still be friends.

Lily: See? She is your soulmate. Plus, not EVERYBODY will freak out when you tell them that. Anyway, please answer your question.

Remus:...oh. Hm...I honestly...what is Dumbledore THINKING? Lettting two werewolves in the shack at once...

Peter: So you DO belive she is a werewolf?

Remus: I-I never said that! But...yeah. I belive her. But I just don't know why...hm...wierd...oh, and I can't really meet you in the tower now, I just came ba...

Sirius: Just go. Your fans are waiting! *mumbles* unlike mine...

Remus: Ok. I will. I'll be back shortly.

*leaves again*

Sirius: Ok, next question.

_**Lily- Have u ever gone to summer camp?**_

James- What would u think if your son happened to come in possession of The Elder Wand?

Remus-Thanks for the idea to use the sticking charm, I am carrying out the prank tonight. Why do u think ur good when most werwolves turn evil?

Peter- Talking to the Slytherins yet again, naughty naughty boy. The Marauders are much better than The Slytherins, thet actually like u but the Slytherins just want to use u to get the Mauraders.

Everyone- Hey it is one of my best friends, Felicity's birthday in a week and I was wondering if u could plan a party for her because u guys throw the BEST parties.

P.s What house do u think I am in

Bye Bye for now, oh and I have a present for u, some chocolates, everyone please have one

__James: Ohhh! Chocolate! *takes two*

Lily: Hey! What about some for Remus?

James: *shrugs* He has those Ompa Lumpas working for him. He won't miss a couple chocolate. *eats*

Sirius: *eats*

Peter: *eats*

Lily: Well, I'll save mine for Remus. I don't need chocola...

*POOF!*

James: Whoa...what happened?

Sirius: Dunno...I feel kinda funny...

Peter:*SCREAM* JAMES! YOUR PINK!

James: What? *looks at Sirius* SIRIUS! YOUR PINK!

Sirius: SO ARE YOU! AND YOU TOO PETE! *SCREAMS*

*POOF!* *note appears*

_**HaHa pranked u, this is revenge for when u guys did something to make moaning, breathing, and groaning sounds come from my bed all night, NOT FUNNY! **_

_**Bye for real:Zebragirl5.**_

James: Wait, what? We didn't put that charm on...oh.

Sirius: Um...we MIGHT have put that charm on the wrong bed...

Peter: WHY AM I PINK?

*Remus walks in*

Remus Ok I... *sees Marauder*...Pink looks good on you guys.

Sirius: NOT FUNNY REMUS.

Remus: Actually, I find it extreamly funny.

Lily: I do to...Anyway, Remus, your turn to answer your question.

Remus: Personally, I don't know. I think it's because sometimes they can't control the wolf, and it rules them, or becuase of all the prejudice on them from the wizards. They just get put down so much, they just want revenge. Personally, I try to prove the world wrong, and show them that not all werewolves are evil. Ok Peter. Your up.

Peter: I have nothing to say about those accusitions...

James: What's the elder wand?

Remus: A fairytale...it doesn't exist. It's about the deathly hallows, but...

Peter: Deathly Hallows? What are those?

Remus: The three gifts from A tale of Three Brothers.

Peter: Oh! Those! Sorry, I just didn't know they were called the deatly hallows...

Lily: Um...the tale of three brothers?

Remus: Yeah. It's about three gifts given to three brother by Death. They each get a seperate gift. The eldest brother gets an unbeatable wand, the Elder Wand. The middle brother get's a stone that can bring back the dead. And the youngest gets a Cloak of Invisibility.

Lily: Whats so wierd about that? James has one. They are rare, but they exist.

Remus: This isn't just any cloak. It has the power to be invisable forever, never wearing out.

Lily: Oh...

Remus: Anyway, the whole thing is just a fairytale. Some people belive that these things exist, however. There has been proof of the elder wand, but it is very sketchy.

Lily: Wow... ok, well I guess I should answer my question. No, I have never been to camp. I think it would be fun, though.

Sirius: About the party, sure. We will. We are glad to help any party!

James: Next question!

_**I'm out of detention! Mwahahaha!**_

Remus/Lily: Since you two are the smart ones of the grouo I need help in the matter of opinion; is it OK for the girl to ask the guy out, or is that just plain strange?

Sirius: So how did Dumbles take to his howler?

Peter: Eating your...pillows? Wow. Odd llama.

James: Yes, I think Minnie hates me now...and I agree with Lily, getting stuck in Hagrid's hut for so long just to see her is the sweetest thing I've ever heard of!

'Kay I got nothing else to say... to busy running from angry, sugar-crazy centaurs...note to self: giving centaurs candy is a BAD idea.

Love, Green

Remus: um...

Lily: Of course it's ok to have the girl ask the guy out! We are living in the twenteith century here! It's fine! Right Remus?

Remus: Uh...sure? Really, I know NOTHING about this...so i'll just agree with you. Sirius?

Sirius: Actually, I didn't send the howler yet. I might not... i'm really busy, so it will have to go on hold for a while.

Peter: Odd llama? Your telling me! Last night he was wearing a hat! A llama with a hat! Wierd right?

Lily: Putting Peter and his wierd Llama aside, next question!

_**Its me again!**_

You guys answered my questions pretty good, but now its time for entertainment! Here are some dares that I created specifically for each of you. By the way, if you don't do one of the options, I will tell you why everyone hates Peter, and then I will deprive Remus of chocolate for the rest of his life by kidnapping all of his oompa loompas and banning him from the chocolate pool for eternity. That would be bad for all of you.

James-Either serenade Filch with some sort of musical instrument, or destroy the marauders map. (oh yeah, I went there)

Sirius-either date a girl for more than a month, or have no interaction with any girl at Hogwarts for three months (except Lily)

Remus-Visit Jenny's shrine to you, or go on another date with her. (hehe I sure am evil. remember the chocolate, Remus, wouldn't want to be deprived of it would you?)

Peter-Tell James, Sirius, Remus, and Lily what you are hiding. OR, make another unbreakable vow with this exact sentence" "I, Peter Pettigrew, vow to never ever under any circumstances betray James, Lily, Sirius, or Remus no matter what. Especially to Voldemort."

I mean, if you aren't going to do it anyway, it shouldn't be a problem, right? *evil glare*

Lily-get a T on an assignment of your choice, or sneak into Sirius' dorm, take his conditioners, and put them in Severus' dorm with a note that says "you really could use these." I mean, I've done that before. (yes Sirius, your precious babies have been contaminated by Snivelly :D)

That's all, and remember, each one of you have to do one!

-Lena, the amazing Slytherin beater who is stuck in detention for hitting Lucius in the head with her bat when he started discussing his hair for the gazillionth time. :(

Remus: EVIL!

Sirius: *faints*

James: Wait...Sirius, didn't you put that spell on your conditioners so that if anybody but YOU used them, it turns there hair pink?

Sirius: *wakes up* HA! He HASN'T used my conditioners!

Lily: So...I'll put Sirius' conditioners in his room?

Sirius: Yeah! And he will wake up with pink hair! Haha!

Remus: *gulp* I'll...see the shrine...just tell me where it is.

Peter: I can't do another Vow! One person can have one Vow on theme for there life. I already have mine.

Lily: That's true..

Remus: Well, that's all the time we have today! Please tune in next time! Bye!

Sorry for the late update, but TONKS WILL BE IN THE NEXT EPISODE. Please think of good questions for her!


	27. Chapter 27

Welcome to yet ANOTHER ask the Marauders! Today we have a very special guest, Nymphadora Tonks!

*door opens* *Tonks walks in*

Tonks: Hey!

Sirius: Hey Nymph!

Tonks: Sirius, how much longer do I have to tell you? It's TONKS.

Sirius: Whatever you say Nymphy.

Tonks: Whatever.. *sits next to Remus* So, any good questions?

Remus: A couple...this one is kinda long, so we will have to break it into sections.

_**Why hello Marauders and said Maraudette (Lily)!**_

_**Ok so questions:**_

_**Remus: Hihi Remus :) Just thought you'd like to know that you're my favorite marauder. I mean, being a werewolf is tough, and you survive it while being a very kind HUMAN. Yes Remus, you are a human. A kind human with a furry little problem. Don't ever forget that. *superhug* Are there any perks of being a werewolf?**_

Remus: Any perks...um...well, apperantly some people think it's cool, mostly muggles though, who know nothing about us, but I still enjoy it. Other then that? I have senses then the normal human, , I don't get cold that easy, and I can run very fast.

Tonks: And the bad side?

Remus: Every month I go through a horrible transformation that could kill somebody, the whole wizarding world hates me, and I can't tell anybody about it because I might get kicked out of school.

Tonks: Well, you told me, and do you see me running to Dumbledore?

Remus: Well, you are related to Sirius, so I wouldn't expect you to run away in the face of danger.

_**James and Lily: Hello my fave Hogwarts couple! How would you feel if when he was only one, your son sort of defeated Voldemort, and when he was in his first year stopped Voldemort from getting the Philosophers Stone and becoming back to life, in his second year went into the Chamber of Secrets and killed a Basalisk, in his third year traveled in time and saved a Hippogriff and his framed godfather (cough cough SIRIUS cough cough), in his fourth year was entered in the Triwizard Tournament by a crazy Death Eater aka Barty Crouch JR, in his fifth year discover via a prophecy that only he can defeat Voldemort, in his sixth year watch a certain Snivellus kill Dumbledore up on the Astronomy tower and in his seventh year destroy 7 Horcruxes with 2 best friends and defeat Voldemort forever? *hug*  
><strong>_

James: Wow... ya know, somebody should make a story about that! It sounds like a great plot line!

Lily: Really! But if my son really did all that? He would be in trouble. I mean really? Going back in time to save a Hippogriff and SIRIUS? It's fine to save the Hippogriff, but SIRIUS?

Sirius: Hey!

Lily: Ha! Joking!

_**Peter: Ello Wormtail! It's not fair that you have to suffer all the hate when you haven't done anything! I sent you a box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans to make up for all the hate. *hug* Would you ever betray your friends if Voldemort threatened to kill you if you didn't? Love ya Petey.**_

Peter: Thank you! See? THIS is the kind of fan that I like! Not hateful, and understanding! *eats beans*

Remus: Uh...you didn't answer the question...

Peter: What question?

James: The question over th...

Peter: I don't see a question! Oh look, a question for Sirius!

_**Sirius: WASSUP PADFOOT? You are my second fave marauder. I love your hair by the way. I bet you'd be a great godfather. So, do you ever wish that your family loved you? I bet, under your hatred of them, there is a longing to be surrounded by loving family. I feel for you. *hug***_

_**Love, Nininino/Allison,**_

A Gryffindor who loves pranks, chocolate and you Marauders and Maraudette!

Sirius: SECOND? WHAT DO YOU MEAN SECOND? Why am I not first? Anyway, yeah, I kinda wish my family wasn't so strict on that pureblood and death eater thing. Then we might actually get along.

Tonks: Yeah...remember that one time, during your sixth birthday, you 'accidentally' blew up your cake?

Sirius: Well, Bellatrix took my little broom!

Remus: Ok, next question.

_**James: I voted for you! Have you ever deprived Moony of chocolate just to see what would happen?**_

_**S****_i_rius: When your hair products are gone, do you act like a chocolate-deprived Moony?**_

_**Remus: Would you rather go on another date with Jenny or let Peter steal your chocolate pudding again?**_

_**Peter: Why were you stupid enough to steal Moony's chocolate in the first place?**_

_**Lily: Do you want to help me take care of Jenny to give Remus a break?**_

_**From:browneyedSOB**_

Tonks: Wow... everysingle one of these questions has something to do with Remus...

Remus: Yeah, well, I guess I am the most popular for some reason, so...anyway, I'll answer my question. I would rather... let Peter steal my pudding.

Tonks: Pudding?

Remus: Long story...

Peter: I wouldn't take your pudding again! No way! And I didn't know it was Remus'! If I did, I might not have stolen it.

Remus: LIES! You took it TWICE! And the last time the pudding was hidden in my fridge that had a sign on it that clearly said 'Property of Remus J. Lupin. KEEP OUT'.

Peter: Oh...um...sorry.

Lily: What's past is past. I am sure Peter won't steal anymore chocolate pudding. Oh, and sure. I'll help fending off Jenny.

Tonks: J-Jenny? You mean... that crazy girl that got me sent to the hospital wing? What was up with her? She just jumped out of nowhere...

Remus: Y-Yeah. S-She's just wierd like that. And, uh, she kinda went after you because of me...she's one of my more...crazy, fangirls.

Tonks: Yeah, I kinda figured that...

Remus: Sorry...

Tonks: Not 'cho fault...

Sirius: My turn! Um... I don't think I do...

James: You don't. You just sit in a dark corner and you just sit there, petting your , between you and Remus, Remus goes crazy, and you just sit in a spot and you just freak out quietly.

Sirius: Oh yeah... huh...

James: Anyway, yeah, I didn't give Remus chocolate for a whole week once... Hogwarts will never be the same.

Tonks: What do you mean?

James: Have you seen the wall with the huge painting of Dumbeldore on the fourth floor?

Tonks: No...

James: Exactly.

Tonks: wow...

Remus: Hehehehe...yeah...I go a little crazy without my chocolate...anyway, next question.

_**Hey everybody.**_

_**Remus: How long would you live in a chocolate house before you have eat it?(Bye the way I have sendt this annoying Jenna or was it Jenny, some chocolate frog with love poison, so she will fell in love with a parrot, so I think you will get som peace from now on.)**_

_**Lily: What behavior from your muggle life have you keep?**_

_**Tonks: Have you ever tried to morph yourself fully into an animal**_

_**James: What is your favorit muggle thing?**_

_**Peter: Rotiart Tar**_

_**P.S. Remus maybe you should ask Tonks about helping her with her homework and learn her betterto known.**_

Remus: Ha! I was wondering why Jenny hasn't stalked me yet today... Thanks!

Tonks: This is the same girl that almost killed me?

Remus: Yeah.

Tonks Good. She deserves it.

Lily: As much as I hate to admit it, I think so too. After five years you think she would get the hint...anyway, I like to keep the old tradition of actually setting up a christmas tree. Wizard tend to just cast a spell and POOF! There it is, an nicely decorated tree. I enjoy setting it up, and putting ornaments on by hand.

James: That would take WAY too long!

Sirius: Honestly. And you have to take it down too! That's just stupid.

Remus: Yeah, but what's the fun in just making it appear? It's fun to put on your favorite ornaments on one by one.

James: Psh. Whatever. Anyway, I think the muggles were right in making the fellytone.

Remus: James...it's telephone.

James: That's what I said! A teletone.

Lily: TELE-PHONE.

James: I said that! I think that it's cool that you can call anybody ANYWERE and they can answer. It's pretty cool.

Remus: Yeah, but remember James, DON'T SCREAM INTO IT.

James: That happened ONE TIME!

Remus: And it better not happen again. Ok Tonks. Your turn.

Tonks: No, not really. Not fully. I can morph my nose into a pigs. Look! *turns nose into a pig nose* I can also make it into a duck bill *turns pig nose into duck bill* *turns duck bill back to normal nose* Other then that, I can't.

Remus: Whoa. So you can, like, turn your hair into different colors?

Tonks: Yeah. That's easy.

Remus: Cool!

Lily: Next question.

_**Dear Peps,**_

**_Remus: I guess I sorta understand why. But I still don't want to die or you and did you expect ne to look like that I mean I am part veela too though_**

**_Sirius: Will you join Katie's "club" S.P.E.W. It's for house elf awareness or something of you join she will stop bugging me about it she really likes you ya know_**

**_James: Why do you call Snapey Snivellus_**

**_Lily: Can you sing_**

**_Peter: I guess I should stop being mean to you you haven't betrayed lily and James yet but j have nothing to say or ask you then so I will dare you to do stuff_**

**_~~~THE SUPer SLYtherin_**

Remus: Hang on...oh yeah. This is the other werewolf.

Tonks: Um...what does she mean by I don't want you to die?

Remus: Well, there is a full moon on christmas eve, right? Well, apperantly, our headmaster decided to put me and another werewolf in the shreiking shack then.

Tonks: The shreking...you mean the old house in Hogsmeade?

Remus: Yeah. Thats where I go to transform every month.

Tonks: Oh...

Sirius: Yeah, and we go with him sometimes. Anyway, something about house elves, huh? No thank you. I don't really get along with house elves. So, no. Your up James.

James: Well, I call snape names because he kinda deserves it. He's a little prat.

Sirius: Yeah, and I mostly call him that. Hehe...his name just sounds so wierd. It's hard NOT to make fun of it!

Lily: Can I sing? Kinda...not really. I mean, I am not as bad as, say, Remus, but I am not the best eaither.

Remus: Thanks lils.

Lily: Sorry...but everybody knows you can't sing.

James: Ok, yet another question!

_**Tonks: How did you escape Jenny? What was the severity of your injuries? What would your feelings be if I told you that you were Remus' soul mate?**_

**_Sirius: I was sick so could you tell me how did the prank go with Michelle?_**

**_James: Why did the prospect of 7 sons freak you out? Dude that is a quidditch team, just get your friends to have 7 kids between them and then you can have them hone their quidditch skills in your backyard and have little tournaments._**

**_Lily: What would you do if you got offered a scholarship to Pigfarts? Just so you know it is the greatest wizarding school in the Galaxy (It's on Mars)._**

_**Remus: Have you ever eaten a bunny while a wolf?**_

_**Marauders and Tonks: Have you ever read any spider man comics? **_

_**From:Attempting2write**_

Tonks: Yay! A question for me! I escaped because some third years were walking by at the time she went crazy, and I escaped. My injuries were not that bad... just a couple cuts and bruises. However, she hit me with a fever charm, and I had to see madame pomfry. And if I am Remus' soulmate...it wouldn't be that bad.

Remus: hehehe...um...

Sirius: *rolls eyes* Um, how did the prank go? *shrugs shoulders* It was fine. Nothing really went wrong...it worked out perfect. Ok James, your up.

James: SEVEN SONS? I don't care if it makes a Quidditch team. Just NO way. But...if...lets see...I had one...Remus had, say, four...Sirius would have two...and Peter, he would have NONE.

Peter: Hey! Why?

James: Nobody would go out with you.

Peter: HEY!

James: Just joking Peter! Sorry, but I had to take a joke there...

Lily: You always have to make a joke out of everything...oh, and Pigfarts doesn't exist! I did a whole study on it, and it's just a myth. There is no WAY it is real!

Remus: I actually agree with Lily. It doesn't exist. Oh, and I might have eaten a bunny once...or twice...I know I ate a racoon once...and a squirrel...but other then that, I don't know.

James: Spider man? What is that, like a werewolf? Except, a werespider?

Sirius: Yeah! That makes sense!

Lily: No. It's a guy who dresses up in a suit and has spider-like abilities.

Sirius: Sounds , another question.

Lily: ANOTHER?

James: Yeah! We have A LOT of questions!

Sirius: YAY! Bring on the questions!

_**Peter: OH MY GAWD LLAMAS WITH HATS! 'My tummy has the rumblies that only HANDS can satisfy!' Hehehehe... Oh uh don't want to intrude on our truce or anything (seriously you BETTER answer my question, yeah?) but why in bloody hell do you keep crossing your fingers behind your back? Are you lying to us? (Are you stealing chocolate again? If you are it won't be just Moony you will have to worry about. :D -yes I dare use the evil smiley face!)**_

_**Sirius: Poo and you call yourself a prankster. This means I have to take matters into my own hands! TO THE BAT CAVE!**_

_***random bat man music***_

_**Marauders: I made Sevvy really mad at me...I gave him a hot pink BEARD, xD with neon green stripes. I know I amazing. He wouldn't stop hassling me about my crappy potions...**_

_**Tonks: We're not insane we're motivated.**_

_**Sirius: I got a letter in response from Dumbles. He sent me chocolate and lemon drops...but the letter was charmed to give me a black mustache and goatee...wow. SO COOL! However, Minnie gave me detention again...hmmm we're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz!**_

_**Remus: Don't look now but I found Dumbles's secret chocolate stash! CATCH ME IF YOU CAN!**_

_**Love, Green**_

_***another letter magically appears and gives mustaches to all***_

_**-Oh yeah since it was originally Sirius's idea...I decided to let you guys join my mustache buddies. ;D Just to let you know, they won't disappear for 2 more days. Cheerio ol' Chaps!**_

Tonks: EEEEK! I DO NOT LOOK GOOD IN A MOUSTACHE!

Sirius: I like mine.. *pets moustach* I shall call you... Canis!

Remus: My moustach looks cool... (0~_~0) - Remus

James: Hey Lily...does this moustach make me look coo..

Lily: No.

James: How about...

Lily: no.

James: W...

Lily: No, no, no no, no no.

James: Aww...

Sirius: HA! So you have a moustach too! Still, it was nice of Dumbeldore to give you lemon drops and such.

Remus: WAIT, YOU FOUND THE PUDDING STASH? *Runs out screaming something about chocolate monkeys*

Tonks: WAIT! REMUS! *runs out too*

Sirius: REMUS! DON'T YOU DARE HURT MY COUSIN! *runs out door*

Peter:... *walks out*

James: Hey Lil's...

Lily: Yes, James?

James: We are all alone... ya know what that means?

Lily: Oh, you are SO on!

*gets out wizard chess set*

Lily: Hm...pawn to G6.

Don't worry, Tonks will be back. However, don't make any more questions to her, because by the time you are done reading this, the next chapter will be up!

Oh, and thanks to FriendofLuna for showing me how to make the little Remus picture! (0~_~0)


	28. Chapter 28

Welcome to another Ask the Marauders! Sorry I haven't updates in a while, but I have been very sick. Anyway, sorry, but I might not be able to update in a while...

Tonks: I can't BELIVE you ran over that poor girl Remus.

Remus: Sorry! But it was for CHOCOLATE!

Lily: Again, Remus, you have Umpa Lumpa making chocolate for you. Just cool it with the chocolate.

Remus:...fine. First question.

_**Remus: I didn't think of a interesting thing for you last time since I was gonna be late for Qudditch so after this sentence, chocolate will start raining in the left corner of the room after this sentence - now.**_

_**Tonks: you're a metamorphmagus right? I dare you to turn into McGonagall and stay as her for a day**_

_**lily: would you rather die for your parents and sister or the mauraders?**_

_**Sirius: if you could have a second animagi form what would it be? BTW im a bunny**_

_**Peter: I'm outta time for more questions, I have charms now**_

_**Remus enjoy the chocolate and cya marauders**_

_**Oh and I'm in a house that you will probably not guess. Doesn't mean I'm in Slytherin though.**_

_**Karlee**_

_**who is late for charms now -.-**_

Remus: CHOCOLATE! *runs over and eats chocolate*

Tonks: *sigh* What is up with you and chocolate? Anyway, I cannot change into McGonagall. One, she would know somethings wierd. Two, I wouldn't be able to fully transform into her. I am not that skilled with it yet...and three, I don't wanna. Ok Lily, your turn.

Lily: My family. Sorry guys, but my family is a little more important.

James: It's fine.

Remus: We understand.

Peter: It's understanable.

Sirius: Wait...what was the question? *looks at questions* Meh, I don't want another animagus form. Although an eagle or owl would be cool...oh! Or a red hawk! That's brilliant!

Peter: RIIIGHT... Anyway, next question.

_**You are all super awesome amazing people and i am sooo happy to ask you questions, so here goes,**_

_**James - what is the strangest and biggest prank you have ever done?**_

_**Lily - who are your friends, what other girls are in Gryffindor in your year?**_

_**Peter - How's the Llama? Before coming to Hogwarts what house did you expect to be in?**_

_**Remus - Does the map give out general insults or do you have set ones for different groups of people, such as Professors?**_

_**Sirius - You are siriusly (sorry for using the pun) funny! Have you ever pulled any pranks on your family and if so, what?**_

_**Tonks - You are one of my favourite characters! Why is bubblegum pink your favourite hair colour? What colour do you have your eyes?**_

_**Okay, gotta go byyyeee LONG LIVE THE MARAUDERS and LILY and TONKS!**_

_**Peace out!**_

_James: I'll go_ first. The strangest prank I have ever done was during the first year. During easter, we charmed the meal to give everybody rabbit ears!

Tonks: Awww! I wish I was here when you guys were in your first year...

Remus: Trust me, you don't. The first year was when they tested out new pranks, and some went horribly wrong.

Tonks: How so?

Remus: Ever heard of George Grimm?

Tonks:...no...

Remus: Exactly. Anyway, the map is designed to personally check the person holding it, and decides what to say. However, for certian people, like Snape, it would attack with prewritten jokes on it. I still don't know the full power of the map, but it is a very powerful magical item.

Sirius: Ha! Have I pulled a prank on my family? As if. They would hate me even more, and trust me, that would be cool, but it would be actually BAD.

Tonks: Yeah...our family isn't the nicest...anyway, I like bubblegum pink because it is a very lively color. It expresses happiness. My eye color is light blue, but I can change it to green, brown, or anything else.

Peter: The llama is doing fine, thanks. He is very wierd, though.

Lily: My friends...wow...I have alot of them. I really can't name them all. Ok, next question.

_**Lovely Marauders,Lily and Nymphadora(hehehe I'm evil)**_

I_** have some some butterbeers and chocolate for you! Enjoy!**_

Remus: YES! CHOCOLATE! *eats chocolate*

Tonks: I am kinda thirsty... *drinks butterbeer*

*everybody else drinks butterbeer and eats chocolate*

Remus: Hang on...read the rest...__

_**They had VERITASERUM**** in them! So now Let's have a round of truth or truth!**_

Remus: Great! Just flipping great...__

**_Tonks ar you in love with ickle Remmy?_**

Tonks: In love? Not really. But he does seem like a really nice, dependable guy, and I would be very happy if he was my friend__

_**Remus is it true that you changed all of Padfoot's conditioners with a potion that you bought from me that wil make his hair like Snivelly?**_

Remus: Y-NO! I MEAN...Y...EAAAAAAA...er...yes!

Sirius: You WHAT?

Remus: You didn't use them yet!

Sirius: STILL! I COULD HAVE HAD SNAPE HAIR!__

_**Sirius did you broke into my dormitory and tried to hex me while sleeping?If so then you got the wrong bed!IDIOT!(if this is what you tried to do as revenge for seducing your brother then it isn't working!)**_

__Sirius: Actually, it wasn't me. I don't know who it was, but it wasn't me. Ha!

_**Jamesie is it true that in 3rd year you have stolen Lily's panties and had them under your pillow?  
><strong>_James: Nope!

Lily: Good...

James: It was the fourth year!

Lily: WHAT?

_**Lily who was your first kiss?**_

Lily: Gregory Hollander.__

_**Peter what did the Slytherins said to you? ALL OF IT**_!

Peter: They said *VERITASERUM WEARS OFF* Um...they said nothing! I was never even there!__

_**Lifedrops the Gryfficlaw**_

Sirius: Grr...next question, now.

_**Okay now for my question,**_

Hi, again,

_**Sorry my handwriting is a bit illegible but I'm scribbling this in detention while Professor Flitwick isn't looking.**_

_**Marauders: Thanks for telling me about that passageway, its helped me a lot.**_

_**Tonks: Hi, you are so cool,I wish I was a metamorphagus or had a friend as cool a know I'm just start with a simple question for you,ok? What's your favorite colour, why and what does it make you think of?**_

_**Lily:So, what is your favorite book and why? Mine personally is between The tales of Beedle the bard and how to strap fireworks onto a cat.**_

_**One question for all of the marauders together, Who do you think would be the most likely to end up in Azkaban and what for?**_

_**WaterLily,**_

_**A Gryffindor**_

Tonks: My favorite color... pink or bright red. They make me think of being happy, or free. They just express coolness, ya know?

Lily: My favorite books...Yeah, tales of Beedle the Bard are pretty good. Again, I can't decide which ones I like most! It's just to difficult! And the most likely person to go to Azkaban... Sirius for having a brawl in the middle of the street with some guy.

Sirius: Hey!

Remus: Well, it's true. And that's all the time we have today! Please keep sending those questions! Bye!

Sorry this chapter was short, but because of the last chapter, I decided to loosen up a bit. Also, like I said, I am sick, so this might not be the best chapter...sorry.


	29. Bad news

Hey! Me again after a VERY long break! Actually, it wasn't a break. Trust me, if I could, I would write more Ask the Marauders. But due to things that are beyond my control, I will not be updating for a long time, if ever. Yes, that means ask the marauders is being canceled until further notice. I am very sorry. I liked writing ask the marauders, and my favorite part was reading your questions. They were funny, and very interesting to say the least! It pains me as much as it pains you to stop this project. However, I will be able to write more stories, and I am currently writing one thats about the marauders (excluding Remus) being stuck in there animal forms. HOWEVER, it isn't the best so far. I still need to update the first chapter a bit, but it should be up SHORTLY...maybe. Don't hold be to that...with school and everything, I don't have much time to write stories. Anyway, very sorry, and I hope to post a new chapter shortly! See you soon...hopefully!

**_Padfoot Moony and Prongs_**


	30. Chapter 30

Hello once again! I'm back, and better then ever! Alright, before you start to Email me 'OMG where were you?' I have two words for you: 8th Grade. I think you will be able to understand. Anyway, this is going to be kinda awkward because of the long break, but let's try to start it out as normal! So, without anymore distractions, take it away invisable voice!

**Welcome to another Ask the Marauders! The current standings for Favorite Marauder are as follows,Remus is still ahead at 12 votes, Sirius is behind with 10, James has 8, Lily has 4, and Peter is behind with 2.**

*Door Opens* *Marauders and Lily walk in*

Remus: Ahh, it's good to be back!

James: I'll say, we have been gone for, what, 2, maybe 3 months?

Lily: Actually, 4 months, nine days, 7 hours, 23 minutes, and...12 seconds.

Peter: Wow...you actually counted?

Sirius: No wonder you get all O's...

James: Anyway, shall we answer questions?

Lily: Oh, can I read the first one?

James: Sure.

**James:**

**Why is your favorite color green? I thought that since being in Gryffindor you would think that red was the superior color, but I guess I was mistaken. My favorite color is orange myself.**

**Sirius is next:**

**What is with your hair? i think that it must be a chick magnet or something! My suggestion is that you cut it off. I'm not really interested in guys with long hair.**

**Third is Remus:**

**Why do you have such an obbsession with chocolate? I bet it's a comfort food for you. You have a lot a pressure to de with being a werewolf and all. So I can understand.**

**Peter's turn:**

**STOP TOUCHING REMUS' CHOCOLATE! You know it just makes him go crazy! So just stop stealing from his chocolate stash or else. I didn't really have a question for you.**

**And last bit definetely not least is Lily:**

**My question for you is how can you put up with these guys? They are completely random! I am very proud of you!**

**From:Slytherin student101**

James: I'll go first. Well, green really isn't my absolute FAVORITE color, but it's cool. It would be better if it wasn't the slytherin house color, but it's cool. I guess I like it because I like to hang out in forests and woods, so green just kinda grew on me.

Sirius: My hair? Is there something wrong with it? Did I not brush it this morning?

Lily: Ha... you BRUSH your hair? Like, with a girl brush?

Sirius:...Maybe. What's wrong with that?

Remus: Well, most guys just comb their hair...

Sirius: Well, I tried, but it got tangled in there and I couldn't get it out.

Remus:...yeah. You really need a haircut. Anyway, yeah, I guess chocolate is a comfort food, but mostly it just tastes really good.

James: Yeah, I think Treacle Tarts taste really good too. But every time I here the word Treacle Tart, I don't freak out and run people over for it.

Lily: My turn. How do I put up with these clowns? Like Remus said earlier, Undetectable Silencing Charm. Works wonders when the Tornadoes lose.

James:*grumble grumble* Next question.

**Hey, Marauders! And we can't forget Lily!**

**First, James: WHY do you always torture Severus? He's a very misunderstood teen, and you just make him feel worse. I always try to stop you; you might have been hit by (suffered) one of my very creative hexes. I HOPE you stop sometime!**

**Sirius: First subject, your hair. When I first saw you, I thought you were a girl. For that, I didn't eat chocolate for a week. (The PAIN!) My question: Why do you love your fangirls so much? I'm sure that there's a really nice person beneath that beautiful hair. All you need to do is open up. Life isn't a big bottle of conditioner, you know.**

**Remus: Once again, you are my favorite, but I won't pester you with, 'Will you marry me, Remus?' I know about your...err...furry little problem and I don't mind. But, frankly, I just don't think it 'makes you so much more hunky' or whatever they say. But I DO like the smart, friendly Remus I know!**

**Peter: I don't hate you, and some might call me a fan! Ha, invisible voice! My question: Why a rat? I wouldn't like that; I could get stepped on.**

**Lily: I don't really have a question for you, so...You rock! I love your green eyes!**

**Bye everybody! I hope you get the Chocolate Frogs I sent you! Remus, only one.**

**P.S. Remus, I tried to make the least amount of grammatical mistakes as possible for you! Bye!**

**From: Kind Polite Slytherin  
><strong> 

James: Wait, that was YOU? You where the one that made my head swell to 3 times it's normal size?

Remus: Wait, your head was swelled that day? I didn't notice...

James: Hey!

Remus: Kidding! Continue!

James: Anyway, that was YOU? Wow...ever thought of joining the Marauders? Because that was a really good spell!

Sirius: Why is everybody asking about my hair...? Well, you DID say it was beautiful, so I guess I can let you stay at Hogwarts. Anyway, I don't LOVE my FanGirls, I just keep them around in case I feel bad about myself.

Sirius FanGirls:*SCREAM!*

Sirius: See? I already feel better! Anyway, I might have to borrow that saying: 'Life is a big bottle of conditioner.'

Remus: Um...she said life ISN'T a big bottle of conditioner.

Sirius: Whatever. I still like the saying.

Remus: Wow...anyway, this person seems like the only person who thinks that just because I am a werewolf doesn't make me hotter! Honestly...but thank's for the compliment. Your turn, Pete.

Peter: Ok, like I said before, I don't choose what animal I turn into. But I kinda like being a rat. I can hide in small spaces, run pretty fast, and a bunch of other cool stuff! Anyway, yeah. I'm not that afraid to be stepped on, because I am usually a rat only with Moony, Padfoot and Prongs, but I am kinda scared that Moony will use me as a chew-toy...

Remus: WHAT? Did I almost eat him once?

James: NO! Well...almost. Not really. You just started chasing him like a cat would with, well, a rat, so I had to divert your attention. But that was really the closest it has ever been!

Remus:Good...anyway, next question. I think this will be the last for now.

**Hey guys! Since I have nothing to say I'm going to get on with the questions.**

**James-Whoo do you think are more advanced in the music department-muggles or wizards?**

James: Muggles. Hand's down. I don't really think Wizards have 'perfected' the art of music, but we will get there...hopefully.****

**Sirius-Who's your favorite muggle band(I'm hoping it's something like Evanescence or Three Days Grace)? If you don't have one, I suggest that you listen to Tourniquet by Evanescence.**

Sirius: Uh...hm...favorite Muggle band... I guess Three Days Grace is pretty good, but I like classic rock mostly, or metal. Depends on what mood I'm in.  
><strong><br>Peter-Sup Wormy. Does your stupidity come naturly or do you provoke it? I'm curious.**

Peter: Uh...naturally...I...guess? I don't know how to answer...

Lily: It's a retorical question Peter.

Peter: Oh...what does retorical mean?

James: Naturally. Definetly naturally.****

**Lily-I don't really have a question for you so... I'll just say this-YOU'RE AWESOME GIRL!**

**Remus-*looks at with wide eyes and dropped-jaw*How in-the-name-of-Merlin do you eat so much chocolate?*puts on smug look*But you gotta admitt that I ate alot too.**

Remus: Oh right, this was asked after the whole chocolate eating competition. Yes, I will admitt, you did eat alot, more then I thought you could. But I still won, so yeah. ****

**Marauders, Lily, and Tonks-soon, a Barn Owl will come, I want you guys to watch for it. Let's just say that it's a surprise and the Barn Owl is my Animag- -.*whistles***

**P.S.- Her name is Soarra.**

James: An owl? Wha...

*Owl flies through the open door*

Soarra: Hoo.

Lily: Aw! Cute!

Remus: *Stares at owl* Something's wierd here...

James: Come on Remus! Can we keep it?

Sirius: Pretty please?

Remus: Fine.

James and Sirius: Yeah!

Remus: Tune in next time for another Ask the Marauders! We promise that we will actually upload now!


	31. Chapter 31

Welcome to another Ask the Marauders! The standings are as before, so let's get the show on the road!

Remus: You know, I like being back. I forgot how fun it was to answer these questions!

Lily: Yeah, but we might have to get back to school soon.

Sirius: Yeah, and then we can't make any more shows after that...

Remus: Well... I guess this show is coming to a close.

Lily: Aww...can we get in two more chapters?

Sirius: Sure. Here's the first question...*gasps*

Remus: What?

James: Is it...?

Sirius: JACKY.

Dear Marauders and Lily,

**Glad to see you guys are back. Although I hope you will continue to to pull your pranks on the students of Hogwarts, especially in History of Magic. I need something to keep me awake during that class.**

**James: I have no question for you. Sorry! Since you have been avoiding me since the slaughter of Ravenclaw vs. Gryffindor I just have to rub it in a little. HA! WE BEAT YOU LIONS! WOOO! Okay I'm done now. Don't want to hurt your feelings or anything.**

**Sirius (Yes I called you that): Since I am trying to be nice (apparently I am very touchy) I'll just ask you a question. I've heard a rumor you have a tattoo is this true?**

**Remus: Congratualations on having the most fans! You definitly deserve it. My question is: what is your patronus? You might have already mentioned it, but I already forgot.**

**Peter: This question has been bugging me, how much do you like cheese? I know, random, but considering your animagus can influence you a bit.**

**Lily: What was the first detention you have ever gotten?**

**Invisible voice/ author: Are you on Pottermore? What's your username?**

**Well, have a nice day loves! Don't let the hippogriffs bite!**

**-Jacky Dupree, A Ravenclaw who is very confused she got Gryffindor on Pottermore, I mean HOW does that happen when I'm nothing like a Gryffindor...ahem, ending the letter ****now.**

Sirius: Alright, I have the list of insults here. Now, what did she say?

James: She...asked if you had a tatoo.

Sirius: Actually, yes. I have a tattoo on my back. It's a hippogriff. Now, what else did she say?

Lily: Well...that's it.

Sirius: WHAT? *reads questions* She...didn't insult me. Huh...alright then. Hm...

James: About that whole Quidditch match, that was RIGGED! That bludger couldn't have just 'Accidentaly' hit our seeker's broom, making him tilt off course and have your seeker get the snitch. The odds of that happening are...

Remus: 2 in 1,314,561. So yeah. Very unlikely. I, being a beater, saw that bludger stop in midair and hurl itself after our seeker. Very unlikely that was an accident.

Sirius: I tried to stop it before it got to him, but I was too high up.

Lily: Can we talk about something BESIDES Quiddetch?

James: Fine. Answer your question, dear.

Lily: I haven't gotton a detention YET, although I got close to one. I was blamed for putting a hex on Lucius Malfoy, although I didn't. Slughorn was in a bad mood that day, so he didn't really listen, but I got out after I explained it to him.

**Can I answer my question?**

Remus: Sure. Answer away, Invisable Voice!

**My Pottermore user name is FangChestnut30803. Hope to see you on Pottermore!**

James: I don't know what that is, but sense it has my last name, it must be sweet. Sign me up!

Lily:*shakes head* You are so big-headded.

Peter: Do I like cheese? Yes! It's wierd, but I didn't really like cheese before I was an animagus, but now I LOVE it! Maybe your right, and my animagus is influencing me a bit...wierd.

Remus: Oh, and my patronus is a wolf, kinda obvious. Well, it looks like a dog, but it's a little bigger then Sirius' patronus, which looks like a dog, so I'm going for wolf.

James: Next question!

**Girl with black hair and amber eyes: HEY! :)*waves frantically* We're your biggest fans!**

**Boy with black hair, eyes and a blue feather tattoo on his temple: You mean, /you're/ their biggest fan.**

**Red-brown haired girl with aqua eyes: Oh, hush. *turns to marauders and waves* hi, I'm Rosy Nicholas.**

**Other Girl: I'm Topaz Wilkins.**

**Boy:...**

**Girls:...**

**Rosy: And that's Crow. Don't ask what his last name is, we don't know.**

**Topaz: We have a few questions we want to ask. James, you're the chaser for the Gryffindor quidditch team, correct? What's the record of goals that you've scored in a game?**

**Rosy: Sirius, what kinds of hair products do you use? I feel the need for someone to have a makeover. *Looks at Crow, who backs away nervously***

**Topaz: Remus, not a question but, GET A GIRL! Preferably, a certain metamorphmagus! Not everyone is repelled by werewolves as you think! And, it has been proven that you cannot become a werewolf because one of your parents was one! The most that can happen is these. *Black wolf ears prick upwards from underneath her hair* And I think they're bloody awesome.**

**Crow: She has a tail too.**

**Rosy: Shut up. Peter, I'm sorry but I really don't have a proper question for you, so I'll pluck one off the top of my head. What's your family like?**

**Crow: And Lily, can you please teach me those undetectable silencing charms? *turns to where Topaz is squealing at a high pitch for no reason***

**Rosy: And that's all for now.**

**Both girls: BYE! :)**

**Crow: *mumbles* And /I/ was the one who got a positive test for insanity?**

Remus: Huh. Strange letter...but many questions!

James: I'll answer first! Hm. One time I got 148 points, but that was against my younger cousin, and she really wasn't trying. In a official game here, I got 92.

Sirius: Yeah, and I unseated 7 people once with ONE Bludger!

Remus: Yeah, but out of those 7 people, three of them where on OUR team.

Sirius:...shut up.

Peter: My family? Uh, there ok I guess. Not like Sirius'!

Sirius: Well, nobody has a family quite like me. Oh, and I make my own shampoo and conditioners. I find that the official shampoo's don't give my hair nice volume.

Lily: Uh, the undetectable scilencing charm is very simple. We learned it in about a week, and it's just a scilencing charm with an undetectable spell over it. It's in 'Standard book of spells-Grade 5.'

Remus: Wait, you got wolf ears? AND A tail? Wow...that's...odd. I have heard of it before, but it is very rare. But there IS a chance that my kid could be a werewolf. I just couldn't bare to give this curse to my child. But, there is also a chance that nothing will happen, and he could be normal. I can't take that risk. Anyway, next question.

**Dear Marauders,**

**Remus:i know you can not date because of your "furry little problem" but what if a certain girl (ME!) also had a "furry little problem"?**

**Lily:hows your lovelife?**

**Sirius: dose Remus have a wingman?**

**James & Peter: i dont have nothing to say to you...exsept...(put in a good word with Remus for me...:)**

**love alice,ravenclaw**

Remus: Wow...there are alot more werewolves out there then I thought. Huh...well, if I WAS to go out with another werewolf...that might actually be ok, but then there is 100% that if I had a child, it would be a werewolf. I couldn't do that.

Lily: My lovelife? Well, fine I guess.

James: Fine? Just fine?

Lily: *shrugs* Yeah.

James:*grumbles*

Sirius: No, Remus doesn't have a wingman yet. Actually, he is my wingman sometimes.

Remus: Sometimes. But mostly I make sure that the poor girl know's what she is getting into before I tell her your good points. So far, I can only think of one: He will only date you for a week. Three weeks, tops.

Sirius: Hey! No wonder I haven't gotten any girlfriends when you where my wingman...

James: Well, that's all the time we have today! Please join us next time! Bye!

The next chapter will be the last, unless I get more questions. Sorry, but I think this story has been pretty long as-is, but don't worry, I will keep writing! Just not on this.


End file.
